Is this a game?

[Kiwi100xxx]

Bumpy relationship.
He was an ex alcoholic and I didnt find out alot of stuff until we were fully involved. He's got an ex still hanging around. He's skint. He's angry. He's sad. Vunerable. His act slipped over time and I couldn't deal with him anymore. He was constantly needing me for something and barely putting effort in. But he was playing mind games alot. There was certainly a streak in him and he was becoming abusive particularly in the last three months. 2 weeks ago I ended it whilst he was telling me off down the phone. I wasn't planning to end it at that point but my frustrations over him refusing to let me talk and shutting me down until he wanted conversations to take place was getting too much. He blamed me for questioning him, creating scenarios and always kicking off.

He's blocked me on every platform because he owes me money and I went to his family when he refused to discuss it. He has very personal belongings being stored at my house. Birth certificates and large paintings. etc. I've asked him several times how he'd like them back as I don't drive and he's 4 miles away. He emailed me Friday to say he'd send his universal credits I've on Wednesday. I replied and thanked him and asked about his stuff at my flat. He ignored the email. 24 hours later I resent and said I needed an update. He ignored that.

What is he playing at. Surely he wants it back asap if he hates me.

You’ve posted this before. I suggest you take whatever advice you were given last time.

I wouldn't be engaging on any level with this person. Put his stuff in the garage /spare room give him a date to collect it by and after that I'd chuck it out.
Been there with my ex h exactly the same situation.

Honestly OP he sounds awful, the relationship sounds like it was a nightmare. Just shove his stuff out of sight, give him a deadline then bin it.
Then block him on everything and try not to ever think of him again.

Mind games to wind you up and remind you he calls the shots ( in his head, anyway)
Wait til Wednesday, see if he pays you then Send one text stating his stuff will be outside on Xday from a o’clock to b o’clock. It will not be taken back into the property. It is his responsibility to collect or it gets wet, stolen or whatever.
If he’s not paid you what he owes issue one letter to him stating how much he owes you and how to repay it ( eg in full within 14 days) Consider small claims depending on amount.
Then block.

Thank you. It's in my spare room it's just that this is closure for me. Once he's got his stuff back we don't need to come face-to-face or deal with each other anymore. In terms of the money he owes me £500. He owes me a lot more actually but I've written the rest off and told him I just want that. I understand his situation is bad at the moment he's just gone back to work but he needs an operation so I don't know how long he'll be working for. I'm just trying to tie the loose ends up and he's making it very difficult. He's blocked me everywhere like I'm a massive problem and then he's complaining I'm stalking him to people. All I want is to get his stuff back to him I'm not even trying at this stage to communicate about us. Some people have said he'll be keeping a hook into me. But surely that's not the case.

I have posted before but more has happened.

Write off the £500, drop his stuff off to a family member, message him to let him know then block him on everything. Have no further contact with him ever. Done.

Some people have said he'll be keeping a hook into me. But surely that's not the case. Of course it is.

As long as you still have some of his stuff, then he has a hold over you, and you can't finish with him once and for all. He is a manipulator as well as all the other despicable shit.

For goodness sake, bundle all the stuff up and either take it round to his relative's house, or find someone to send him a message saying that if he doesn't collect his things from you within 7 days, you will dispose of them as you see fit. Which I would suggest is the council dump (unless anything is worth selling, in which case use the proceeds to reduce the debt he owes you).

Can't afford to write it off really. It's passports and oil paintings and family photos. Paperwork etc. Not stuff I have a right to destroy either. As much as I'd love to throw it in his garden it's not that simple.

I'm sorry but you may well have to accept you have lost the money unless you can move he owes it to you - in which case could you use something like the small claims court. (I have no experience of doing that though).

Regarding his stuff, as you're in contact with his family can you just not give a final message "All his stuff is stored in my spare room, if not collected by 31 May 2022 then I'll dispose of it". Then if it's not collected bin it.

This is an excuse to keep him in your life. You are not ready to be rid of him yet.

No it's not an excuse I want him out my life. I have two kids and I will remain overdrawn if he doesn't.

If you are serious you are going to have to take the hit, write of the £500 and take his stuff to his relatives. Then you will be free of all contact with him.