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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To NOT report that my car has been stolen...by my ex

42 replies

Salt14 · 01/05/2022 10:43

Couldn't find a 'Legal' thread so please move if in wrong place.

Split with ex 3 years ago, amicable, stayed friends.
He lives with paranoid schizophrenia and off his meds, he came here last night as he feels safe here. Let him crash on sofa.

However, whilst I was asleep he took off with my car, at least I assume it's him as he's not here, car's not here and keys have gone.

He's insured on the car as I've not got round to taking him off as a named driver from when we were together. I forget at renewal and it costs an admin fee outside of that.

But he told me recently that he has lost his licence.

Which would mean he's not insured, right?

So what do I do? Was going to report to police but given I am the named owner, doesn't it fall back on me?

So do I NOT report it?

OP posts:
TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 01/05/2022 10:43

I think you call the police and ask.

GiltEdges · 01/05/2022 10:45

Well he stole the car... so no, that's fully on him. You didn't hand him the keys and send him off in it, knowing he doesn't have a licence to drive. Call the police.

TheLittleCabbages · 01/05/2022 10:46

He took your car without permission. That’s a criminal offence. Why wouldn’t you phone the police?

Singlebutmarried · 01/05/2022 10:46

Well no licence means no insurance. So if he hits anyone/thing there is nothing for those people to claim against.

in short. Report.

if you don’t and he runs someone over then to me you’d be equally culpable.

PurassicJark · 01/05/2022 10:46

Of course you report it. He's off his meds, he's not licensed, he's not insured. Why the hell wouldn't you?! Doesn't fall on you, he stole it. He didn't have permission to take it.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 01/05/2022 10:46

But he told me recently that he has lost his licence.
I think you need to report him for this alone. He’s obviously, for whatever reason, unsafe to drive. He was could well injure someone or worse. I’d you don’t want to report him for “stealing” the cat, understandable, but a man who is off meds and no licence could be a huge danger to the public and himself!

TheMadGardener · 01/05/2022 10:48

If he's lost his licence, he's not insured.

You ring the police and say, "My ex, who is a paranoid schizophrenic off his meds and has been banned from driving, has stolen my keys and taken my car without my knowledge. I am very worried, please find him and my car."

Then you are covered/in the right legally.

Yes, he will be arrested for driving while banned, but that is his fault, not yours. What if he hits someone and kills them, or writes off your car while uninsured?

Please ring the police.

SoManyTshirts · 01/05/2022 10:48

Taken without owner’s consent- TWOCing as it used to be known - you need to report it to show you haven’t given consent, but you don’t need to make it full on theft which is intent to permanently deprive you of the asset.
Unless that’s what it is, of course.

SinaraSmith · 01/05/2022 10:51

So if he crashes, what will you do?

if he is picked up without a license and they ask whose car it is and he says that it’s your and you let him borrow it, how are you answering that you let him borrow it knowing he didn’t have a license?

He lost his license for a reason and you seem very relaxed that he is out there, potentially putting others at risk. Since he shouldn’t be driving.

Beelezebub · 01/05/2022 11:01

Of course you report it

WeAllHaveWings · 01/05/2022 11:08

I can understand your concern or loyality to your friend, but you must report so the police can find him and make sure he and others are not hurt.

How will you feel if someone is hurt and you did nothing?

girlmom21 · 01/05/2022 11:10

TWOC and driving without a license or insurance? Absolutely report him. He's a massive danger.

Midlifemusings · 01/05/2022 11:12

Do you know where he is? Can you get the car back without a police report?

Theunamedcat · 01/05/2022 11:14

Yes report

PortiaFimbriata · 01/05/2022 11:14

Singlebutmarried · 01/05/2022 10:46

Well no licence means no insurance. So if he hits anyone/thing there is nothing for those people to claim against.

in short. Report.

if you don’t and he runs someone over then to me you’d be equally culpable.

Not actually true: if he hits a third party then they can still claim against the invalid insurance (or the Motor Insurance Bureau) if there were no insurance in place whatsoever. In theory the insurer could then reclaim against the ex to recover costs.

But the OP would be screwed if he wrote off her car. And yes if she knows he's driving her car without a licence and putting road users at risk then she arguably has a duty to report him.

D0lphine · 01/05/2022 11:15

I think you need to report for his safety and the safety of other road users.

Maytodecember · 01/05/2022 11:17

Reporting it means the police will be more likely to be able to track the car and find him. He’s a vulnerable person and needs to be found and safeguarded.
Call now.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 01/05/2022 11:22

Report him op for god sake.

Off his meds and having a crisis whilst taking your car and driving it with no licence therefore no insurance is a recipe for potential disaster to others as well as him.

Give them a call now

SophieSoSo · 01/05/2022 11:23

You need to report, he’s not insured.

If anything happens and you haven’t reported it, it comes back to you. You have the responsibility to report it.

retiredtrafficcop · 01/05/2022 11:33

as per my username, Im a retired traffic cop. If you dont report it, the police and courts will assume you have given him permission to use the car, meaning that you are equally as responsible for his disqualified driving and consequent lack of insurance. Its called "use, cause or permit" and can result in points and or a ban for you too

Pixiedust1234 · 01/05/2022 15:39

What the hell? Someone who has severe mh and off their medication is driving several tons of metal at possibly dangerous speeds and you actually post on sm questioning if you should report?

Fucking hell OP

MintJulia · 01/05/2022 15:43

You need to report it. Either you knowingly gave consent to a banned driver which is illegal, or the car is stolen. If he wrecks it, the insurance is invalid because he has no licence.
You need to call the police.

NumberTheory · 01/05/2022 15:50

In not reporting it stolen you’re allowing him to drive uninsured, which is a criminal offence - potential for a big fine, points on your license and higher insurance costs for years.

Cliftontherocks · 01/05/2022 15:52

How many people are hit by uninsured drivers?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/05/2022 15:53

He has a serious mental illness, he's illegal to drive, whether that's because his licence has been taken away due to his illness or because he's a shit/criminal driver, it doesn't matter.

For his own safety and that of other road users, you need to report it because the alternative is potentially that somebody, whether your ex or somebody completely innocent, gets killed as a result of his driving.

If he does drive into a bus stop full of people, the insurance will be unlikely to accept liability if you don't report the theft. So relatives of any people killed or permanently disabled through his actions wouldn't be able to receive compensation via your insurance. And you'd be car less with no way of claiming a replacement.

Also, what's he intending to do in your car? It might be he's planning something in his altered state of awareness. Would you be OK if he ends his life because you didn't report the theft and having the car made his plans possible?

You need to report the loss and his medical condition for his safety and that of innocent people. And also to protect yourself. But that's not as important as getting somebody unfit to drive off the road.