Normal pregnancy tiredness or antenatal depression?

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

Hi all. Apologies if I ramble a bit. Not an AIBU, posting here for traffic.

I'm currently almost 31 weeks with my 2nd baby. This baby was very much planned and wanted, but over the past few weeks I've been feeling increasingly upset/fed up. This pregnancy, in complete contrast to my first which was a breeze, has been much harder (morning sickness until 25 weeks, still getting nausea now, SPD, nosebleeds, migraines, having to take aspirin and have regular scans and consultant appointments..). This is all on top of continuing to work 40 hours a week.

Thankfully baby is absolutely fine but I've been feeling increasingly fed up and tearful. I find it hard to leave the house and dread going to work which is unusual as I normally love my job! I'm exhausted in the day but can't sleep at night. Sometimes it's due to SPD or baby moving or needing to pee every 10 minutes, but sometimes I don't know why. I don't want to see family or friends as I find it mentally exhausting. I've been increasingly impatient with my 3 year old and am finding her incredibly hard work at the moment, but what 3 year old isn't? Then I feel awful for being impatient with her.

Most of the day I feel either irritated, numb, or on the verge of tears. Every day feels like groundhog day and I'm just really fucking tired and fed up.

I do have a partner who is very supportive and helps out a lot.

I've been fortunate to never have suffered mental health issues before so I have no clue if this is just normal pregnancy hormones or something that I need help with. I think just a bit of a break from everything would help massively but then I feel guilty for feeling like this when I chose to have another baby!

Sorry for rambling. Thank you if you made it this far!

im no expert and no one on here. But I think if I had a very difficult pregnancy and was still working 40 hours per week I would also be feeling awful. Can you start mat leave early? Hope things improve OP

@SafelySoftly Thank you. Yes I could and am strongly considering it. Originally I wasn't going to be going on mat leave until 37 weeks, but now I'm thinking of bringing it a few weeks ahead. But I have to give work four weeks notice if I want to start mat leave early and even four more weeks is filling me with dread 😥I know I can get signed off, but can't really afford it!

I was like this in my first pregnancy, bone tired but suffered from insomnia, every thing hurt, walking even short distances was difficult, I was a disaster at work. I went off sick in the end and started mat leave at 34 weeks instead of planned 37. I spent most of that 4 weeks napping. Having a newborn was a breeze by comparison.

Could you phone in sick for 2-3 days only, and do whatever you find relaxing. Then think about some small changes you could make to help you to get more rest throughout the day? Eg where can you go in your lunch break? Can work give you a place to have a short lie down ?

When I was pregnant (16 years ago...) your employer could make you take any sick leave after 32 weeks as maternity leave. I don't know if it works the other way too. Maybe speak to HR.

I felt utterly miserable in both my pregnancies and I didn't have any of the issues you have. With hindsight I was just tired. And both times it was fine once the baby arrived.

Get your vitamin d and iron levels checked, if these are low they can make you feel so much worse than you need to. When you feel like that your body is saying rest, so take some time signed off sick and prioritise yourself right now. You don’t want to be on the back foot with a newborn and what’s an extra few weeks off in the grand scheme of your working life?

PP above is right. If they can prove it’s pregnancy related absence, it can trigger maternity leave. But I think (could be wrong) if it’s something entirely unrelated you’re okay.

They can only trigger maternity leave if it's after 36 weeks.