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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Urgent help with safeguarding

32 replies

Lunar27 · 30/04/2022 23:38

For traffic so apologies for a non AIBU thread.

My daughter's gone out with friends and I received a call an hour ago to pick up one of them as she's blind drunk and in a huge state.

My wife and I have picked her up and brought her home on her own, as she didn't want to face her mum. My daughter's still out with mates.

She so drunk and desperate to leave but my wife and I don't want her to just walk into the night in her own completely out of it. But she's adamant she wants to leave and will find her way anywhere but home.

We've given her the option of sleeping it off here or we'll drop her home but at the same time don't want to hold her prisoner until she sobers up.

What do we do?

For info she's been a long time friend of my daughter and the family.

OP posts:
AtLeastPretendToCare · 30/04/2022 23:39

How old is she?

Original poster
Lunar27 · 30/04/2022 23:39

BTW she's 18 so an adult but not quite.

OP posts:
PingPages · 30/04/2022 23:40

Very dependent on how old she is!

Kat1953 · 30/04/2022 23:40

We've given her the option of sleeping it off here or we'll drop her home

Right response, stick with this. If she insists on leaving, you take her home.

Clymene · 30/04/2022 23:40

Can you call her family?

Campervangirl · 30/04/2022 23:40

Ring her parents

Kat1953 · 30/04/2022 23:40

If she sneaks without you and you can't find her or follow her, call the police

PinkPlantCase · 30/04/2022 23:41

Call her parents?

SnowdropsInSpring · 30/04/2022 23:41

Call her parents and let them decide. She's an adult, but you can't just let her out and she's not you're responsibility, but you have let it become that.

rahjama · 30/04/2022 23:41

You're doing the right thing, you can't let her wander off alone at night.

How come they called you and not her parents in the first place?

titchy · 30/04/2022 23:42

Yeah easy: 'Sweetheart we don't think you're going to be safe going back out. We are not going to hold you prisoner but if you choose to leave we will phone your mum. Now drink this pint of water.'

FlibbertyGiblets · 30/04/2022 23:42

Please ring her mum. If you take her home please make sure the child locks are activated so she doesn't fall from the vehicle.

Onlyhuman123 · 30/04/2022 23:42

Give her 2 options....take her home or let her sleep it off at yours

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/04/2022 23:42

None of her friends came back with her? That's a bit shit.

If she's absolutely out of it, I'd offer yours, mums, or you call 111 and they can tell you what to do. She may not have capacity to make decisions right now but you can't restrain her.

sleepylittlebunnies · 30/04/2022 23:43

I would definitely call her parents.

HeddaGarbled · 30/04/2022 23:44

Tell your daughter to get back home immediately. How dare she dump this problem on you and carry on enjoying her night out? It’s her friend: she needs to get home right now and help you talk sense into her.

SilverPeacock · 30/04/2022 23:44

If you can’t persuade her to stay I’d be phoning the police to say you have a welfare concern for her

rahjama · 30/04/2022 23:45

HeddaGarbled · 30/04/2022 23:44

Tell your daughter to get back home immediately. How dare she dump this problem on you and carry on enjoying her night out? It’s her friend: she needs to get home right now and help you talk sense into her.

That's what I was thinking

ThatsNotAKnifeThatsASpoon · 30/04/2022 23:47

I agree with previous poster - your own daughter is not behaving like a good friend or daughter to leave you to grapple with this on your own. That's your bigger concern imo.

Original poster
Lunar27 · 30/04/2022 23:48

Thanks. We don't have her number as she's changed mobiles and her daughter doesn't want to give us her number because she doesn't want to go home. She's always had a tough childhood so doesn't like home.

But thanks for the confirmation. We're currently talking her sober and diverting so she's not thinking of leaving.

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 30/04/2022 23:53

Your daughter should have come home with her!!

AthenaPopodopolous · 30/04/2022 23:53

Keep her safe with you and your wife and talk to her. Keep an eye on her as she may be sick or choke on her own vomit. Try to contact her parents.

FrankLeeSpeaking · 01/05/2022 00:01

HeddaGarbled · 30/04/2022 23:44

Tell your daughter to get back home immediately. How dare she dump this problem on you and carry on enjoying her night out? It’s her friend: she needs to get home right now and help you talk sense into her.

What I was thinking.
Your daughter has been very unreasonable and needs to come home and help you deal with her drunk friend.

CJsGoldfish · 01/05/2022 00:44

Your daughter just left her with you and went on with her night out? WTF?

What you should do is drop the friend home.

ElderlyJalopy · 01/05/2022 00:50

Do you know where she lives? If you do, just take her home.
I agree with other posters who have commented about your daughter's behaviour.

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