To cut off ex’s family?

[ArtificialFlowers]

Name changed for this.
so as not to drip feed my dd’s dad is not allowed contact with me due to abuse, substance abuse, police and social services involvement (I could write an essay on this).
dd is almost 3 years old. Since me and her dad split over a year ago I have been in contact with ex’s parents, sending updates, pics, they’ve had face times and seen my child for a few hours sporadically and have facilitated contact with her dad once every few months or so. Dad is extremely manipulative, paints me as the stereo typical “psycho ex” who does all in my power to turn dd against him. Couldn’t be further from the truth.

anyway, my daughter is quite attached to his family and enjoys speaking to them/phoning/ seeing them all and this was beginning to become somewhat consistent.
recently ( I assume dad has gotten wind of the fact I’ve been discretely seeing someone new; who for the purposes of not being jumped on: has never met my daughter and won’t for a long time yet) they have basically ignored my child. So for context previously I’d whatapp and say “hi dd has asked to speak or FaceTime with you/dad is this ok for x time tomorrow?”
usually would be returned with “hi yes that’s fine look forward to it “
all nice and good, dd has what she wants etc.
for a few weeks now I’ve sent pics (Easter stuff/ learning to ride a bike blah blah) and ha e been completely ignored.
her dad is a shit, I’ve accepted that. Bit previously grandparents have wanted to be (vaguely) involved.
im now in the position where my dd is asking can I phone daddy/nana/grandad etc and I don’t know what to do or say?
I know for a fact they will be backing off due to “dads” gaslighting
bit how the hell do I explain this to my innocent sweet child?
wish to god I’d have just cut them all off when we split but they convinced me they wanted to be in her life. Until the sweet innocent (abusive cheating prick) convinced them otherwise

breaks my heart each night she asks to see her other family.
sorry that was long…..,
what do I do?

Can you be direct with them?

”hi xxx, DD has been asking for you repeatedly but I am not getting a response to my messages. I assume from this you are no longer interested in having this contact with her?”

if you get no reply, you have your answer x

You tried to do a good, kind thing for your DD and her grandparents by facilitating a relationship. If it's not working, then it's not working and you need to accept the fact that you tried.

You could try one last text as a pp mentioned explaining that your DD has been wanting to speak to them. If that doesn't work, move on without them.

Thanks both. Good advice, I’ll do the one last text thing and if no response go from there. Just so bloody sad, I mean why go to all the trouble to be involved and then just ditch her on the say so of an emotionally unstable evil prick.. but hey ho that’s life.
just sick of my child being treated like something that is disposable as and when suits. Honestly had faith in these people being consistent but yet another rejection it’s just so unfair

Does anyone have any advice on what to say to dd about this? When she asks can I phone them etc? Maybe over thinking this but I was massively rejected as a child and it’s effected me through to adulthood. I do t want her to ever think she’s not good enough!
does anyone have any advice on how to broach this?

Oh bless you OP, you’ve been through hell!

honestly, she is young enough that she’ll forget them before long. Every time she asks say “Well they aren’t in right now but why don’t we do [exciting thing]”. They’ll barely be a memory one day, which is all they deserve.

As an aside, I’d be wary of them hating you anyway even before the new BF. If SS are involved you can bet your bottom dollar they’re slagging you off to them. They’ll always take their sons side and if it gets nasty, they’ll back him. This could well be a blessing in disguise

I wouldn’t trust them at all.

Wait and see what response ( if any ) you get from your message OP.