The Year 4 children at the school I work at made a scientific discovery in the playground this week, which they christened a "double fly". Two flies ... ahem... stuck together... One child say "maybe they were born like that" - the innocence!
Also had a child point at a builder on a roof and ask me, "who's that?" (as if I should know every random builder in the vacinity!)
And another say, "Please can you help me go to the toilet?" She meant could I let her in so she could go to the toilet. We both had a laugh about that one.
Those three were all in one playtime - that was an interesting first day back!
Also, I was playing a 20 questions type game with a child. He kept insisting he was "looking right at" his chosen animal. I looked around the room, named every sea creature on the mural next to him, even crouched down next to him to see what he could see from his angle. Everything I guessed was wrong... eventually I asked him again if he was sure he was looking at it. He replied: "Yes. In my head."
Hope these cheer you up a bit! They never fail to make me smile!
But my three all time favourites all belong to one child, who was in Year 1 at the time:
This particular child had a best friend called Jacob, which is relevant to this first story. I was checking who could recite the alphabet, and this particular child's alphabet began thus: "a b c d e f g h i Jacob l m n o p..."
Another time, he was guiding a blindfolded (well, just with his eyes shut) friend through a maze. This friend had arrived a few months ago with no English. He was (understandably) struggling to understand and follow the instructions so his guide told him to open his eyes, which he also didn't understand. So the guiding child started making an opening and closing guesture with his hands held up to his eyes, repeating "open your eyes, open your eyes!" Which of course the other child couldn't see because his eyes were closed!
And finally, the children had chosen a weird and wonderful creature from a selection we'd given them, and had drawn their creatures. We were about to collect the pictures in and reminded them to put their names at the top. This particular child came and gave me his picture with 'Duncin' written at the top. His name was not Duncin (or even Duncan) so I asked him why he'd written that. He pointed at the naked mole rat in his picture and said, "It's his name."