Wanting to move closer to family

[Bentley123]

Looking for people who have been in similar circumstances. We have three DCs and live about 2 hours from my parents and 3 from my DHs. All DCs under 5. We love where we live & both have good jobs, however my other half can work from anywhere and I can easily change locations. I have a few friends I’ve met through little ones but no-one super close, other half knows no-one really. We’ve lived here a few years.
I would like to move to near by Mum/Dad/sister and I’ve got few old friends I’ve kept in touch with and see whenever I go home. We’d also be day trippable to his family then.
I love my family but they have quite a few issues, but I feel being closer would mean I can see them more often for shorter periods (which normally works better) rather than staying a getting caught up in drama. They are nice people but have things going on they can’t help. Children will also be nearer their cousin. And importantly as my family age I’ll be nearer to
help them. I hate packing up the car to visit for weekends with kids.
But houses are massively more expensive and although we can afford one (just) it would stretch us.

AIBU to think it’s ‘nice’ to be near family and old friends when you’ve got a family? Is the sacrifice worth it?

Just to add my expectations of family is low- occasional babysitting would be nice but I’m not expecting our lives to suddenly be magically changes.

My other half lives our house , this is his main reason for not wanting to move & the countryside around us. We’d still be moving to a pretty area , more beaches , but busier.

We live away from family and the children barely know their grandparents or cousins.

I feel they’ve missed out.

Bit I’m not sure I’d move back, same reasons, we have more here in terms of freedom and jobs beaches nice are etc but never say never

IDK, there's a lot to be said for not living near family 'issues' and 'drama'. How close would you be living to them? How would living closer mean less involvement in their 'drama'? I'd think it'd mean more.

Would it be better to move closer to DH's family if what you're looking for is more contact with extended family for your children?

Would moving the 2 hours closer to your family take your DH also closer to his family or further away from them? For me this is important as it's feels unfair that you'd get to be close to your family but he's even further from his

We moved closer to my family and my only regret is not doing it sooner.

DC are spending time with their GP and getting to know them and it makes me very happy.

For us though, it has meant moving very far (24 hour flight) from DHs family which really sux.

The hounds of hell could not make me live closer to my inlaws.

I don’t understand why you’d wish to do this when you don’t want to get caught up in their drama and issues. Because moving closer and seeing them more often is exactly going to cause that to happen.

If you aren't totally wedded to where you live, then it's a no-brainer isn't it?
DH and I don't have kids and a major reason is because we live 3 hours from one family and 2 hours from the other and we refuse to do it without a bit of local family support.

The drama is they look after my elderly grandparent, unfortunately they don’t get on all that well as a ‘new household’ - carer stresses and all that. But individually all lovely and enjoy spending time with my little ones/positive influence. I also get on well (as does my husband) with my sister and BIL. We would be much nearer his family too.

But would you living closer mean expectations for you to help would cause drama? Would your husband be happy with this?

There wouldn’t be any expectations on me, my family want to help me more, as I’ve found having babies/little ones to look after exhausting and they’ve found it hard not being near but not being able to leave my other relative for too long.