Age for saying no to see other parent

Keithisnotmyname40 · 2022-04-30T11:05:04+00:00

Posting in here for traffic. What age can a child say that don't want to sleep over at their NR parents house?

PeekAtYou · 30/04/2022 12:06

One off or forever?

A judge would take the opinion of an over 12 (ish) seriously

PinkSyCo · 30/04/2022 12:06

From the age that they’re old enough to voice it.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/04/2022 12:07

Would NR parent insist on them staying over if they knew the child didn't want to?

How old is the child? And why do they not want to stay?

Are you the R or NR parent?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 12:08

I never stayed over but I was 11 when I decided to go completely NC with my dad.

TimBoothseyes · 30/04/2022 13:03

"S"D was 12 when she said she no longer wanted to see her mother. She hasn't seen her since, over 20 years later. "S"D has no regrets about her decision.

I put "'s around the S as legally she is no longer my SD as her father has remarried. She remained with me after our divorce which was a court approved decision, and, again, her wishes

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:06

Teen..

my kids say they don’t want to go to school does that mean I shouldn’t send them?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 13:09

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:06

Teen..

my kids say they don’t want to go to school does that mean I shouldn’t send them?

That isn't comparable in any way. School is extremely important. My dad was frequently in prison, never contributed anything to my upbringing and was uninterested in parenting. Do you think I missed out on anything by choosing not to have him in my life?

TimBoothseyes · 30/04/2022 13:19

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:06

Teen..

my kids say they don’t want to go to school does that mean I shouldn’t send them?

Well that depends. Do your kids cry, vomit and beg you not to make them go??? Because that's what SD did the day before the contact days with her mother, literally on her knees begging. SD also said she didn't want to go to school but I still sent her, because it was the right thing to do. Making a frightened child spend time alone with the person that made them feel that way is not the right thing to do at all.

Oysterbabe · 30/04/2022 13:21

It depends on their reason I think.

AntarcticTern · 30/04/2022 13:22

Based on my relative's experience, over 12 they have some input into the decision, over 14 it's their decision.

FrankLeeSpeaking · 30/04/2022 13:31

I never had a choice until I was 16. Or at least didn't think I did.
I'm NC as an adult.
I would say around 12 or so is old enough. Younger perhaps depending on child/situation.

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:34

Yes my kid did use to cry and vomit actually!! But I still had to send him otherwise I would get in trouble, there is nothing in the op saying that’s what the kids do though is there? Plenty of kids just don’t like leaving their mums as they are clingy to them, there’s no mentions of abuse which I’m sure the op would have mentioned, a relationship with the child’s father is also extremely important and the courts agree with me anyway that kids don’t have a say until they are teens (unless abuse which has NOT been mentioned)

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:35

My kids don’t like going to my mums as they say it’s boring, it could be something as simple as that, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t go though, young kids don’t often want to leave their mums.

Manekinek0 · 30/04/2022 13:36

It depends on the history and situation. If the NRP was not providing a safe and nice environment then that would be a very different circumstance to a child not wanting to stay over because they have been told off for not cleaning their room.

I do however think that we should always take the child's feelings into consideration at whatever age.

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 13:38

I started making the decision around 12 but that's when I was first brave enough to voice my opinion

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 13:38

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:34

Yes my kid did use to cry and vomit actually!! But I still had to send him otherwise I would get in trouble, there is nothing in the op saying that’s what the kids do though is there? Plenty of kids just don’t like leaving their mums as they are clingy to them, there’s no mentions of abuse which I’m sure the op would have mentioned, a relationship with the child’s father is also extremely important and the courts agree with me anyway that kids don’t have a say until they are teens (unless abuse which has NOT been mentioned)

I wasn't abused by my dad, but it still wasn't a good environment for me to be in. He sold drugs!

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:42

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 13:38

I wasn't abused by my dad, but it still wasn't a good environment for me to be in. He sold drugs!

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This thread isn’t about you, op hasn’t said that.. just that they don’t want to go! Selling drugs would be a safeguarding issue which if that was happening it would have been important enough to mention in the op.

I was on another group the other day where a child didn’t want to go home as dads house was the “fun” house and mums was boring and dad was had lots of money and mum didn’t do the child didn’t want to go home, do you think that meant they shouldn’t? Literally not one person suggested the child just didn’t go back to the mums then and stayed with the dad.

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:43

It could also be a case of parental alienation and mum doesn’t want the kids to go so kids picking up on it, I’ve seen that on here often enough

MatildaJayne · 30/04/2022 13:46

Anyone know what the courts would say? I thought it was 14?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 13:50

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:42

This thread isn’t about you, op hasn’t said that.. just that they don’t want to go! Selling drugs would be a safeguarding issue which if that was happening it would have been important enough to mention in the op.

I was on another group the other day where a child didn’t want to go home as dads house was the “fun” house and mums was boring and dad was had lots of money and mum didn’t do the child didn’t want to go home, do you think that meant they shouldn’t? Literally not one person suggested the child just didn’t go back to the mums then and stayed with the dad.

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I know it's not about me, but there are plenty of reasons other than abuse why a child might not want to see the other parent and they should be listened to.

PumpkinsandKittens · 30/04/2022 13:56

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 13:50

I know it's not about me, but there are plenty of reasons other than abuse why a child might not want to see the other parent and they should be listened to.

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Safeguarding yeah sure but the op hasn’t mentioned any 🤷‍♀️

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/04/2022 14:00

OP hasn't really mentioned anything to be honest, the post is too vague.