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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate or am I over reacting?

40 replies

strongstrongtea · 30/04/2022 09:33

My partner of 2 years is very
Close with his colleagues. They're more like friends that work together ... male and female.
He sent a video to them and to me and other friends , of him in hospital. He was just bored.
I noticed at the end of the generic message to all of us that he had added an 'x' after. Hello.
This video was sent individually to each of us .
AIBU to think that adding an'x' after a general hello is inappropriate to send to female colleagues/ friends ?

OP posts:
ReadyToMoveIt · 30/04/2022 10:02

All my male friends put a kiss on the end of texts, and vice versa. Im married. It doesn’t mean we went to actually kiss each other, it’s just habit.

Bloodybridget · 30/04/2022 10:02

Blimey. I put x-es on messages all the time to friends and family members. I sometimes kiss them on the cheek in greeting too. My DP has never had a problem with this.

strongstrongtea · 30/04/2022 10:03

Thanks.I know you're right. I'm just tired and delicate I suppose.Thanks for setting me straight.

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 30/04/2022 10:04

I do it automatically.

I often send emails to colleagues saying 'can you book a room for me for Tuesday ' (or whatever) and then sign off 'Regards, Spidey x' but I don't want to kiss them.😉

My husband wouldn't even notice if he saw them, let alone get upset about it!

sunlight81 · 30/04/2022 10:06

He may have copied and pasted the same message to everyone so actually didn't intend to send the x it just happened. I do that all the time!!

HighInPolyunsaturates · 30/04/2022 10:09

I put a kiss on the end of a message to a seller on Vinted this morning. I really wanted a discount! 😀

You are over reacting but you're worried about your DP, so cut yourself some slack.

riotlady · 30/04/2022 10:10

Yabu, lots of people put an x on the end of everything. My DD’s dancing teacher puts them at the end of her messages and I assume she doesn’t want to kiss all the parents!

Coughee · 30/04/2022 10:14

PlasticineMeg · 30/04/2022 09:58

No offence but you need to get some real problems

Her partner is in hospital you absolute plonker 🙄

Hope he's OK op, I agree with everyone else that it's not inappropriate but I can see why you'd be a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment.

pigsDOfly · 30/04/2022 10:14

Frlrlrubert · 30/04/2022 09:57

A male colleague once accidentally ended a call with me 'love you, bye'. Pupils call me 'mum' every now and then.

Either that sort of brain fart, or he ends all his messages with an x.

Would not assume he wants to kiss everyone in the group!

A male colleague once accidentally ended a call with me 'love you, bye'.

Yep, nearly done that several times too: to someone at the bank call centre once, and random other people, usually if, we've chatted for a while and they've been especially helpful and I'm feeling well disposed towards them.

Fortunately, I've always managed to stop myself in time.

Many years ago, long before the internet when people still wrote letters, my mother sent a letter to the specialist treating my brother with an ongoing, serious illness.

It was a long letter outlining symptoms and problems. She signed it: 'yours affectionately mother'; it was a long time ago and my mother was very old fashioned and formal.

Poor woman was mortified when she realised what she'd done immediately after she'd put it in the letter box.

A rather panicky phone call from her to the specialist's secretary ensued and all was explained but I think she blushed about that for months.

onewednesdayindecember · 30/04/2022 10:17

strongstrongtea · 30/04/2022 09:42

Thanks.
I see that it is. I do feel delicate and upset. I have a good idea of his diagnosis but he doesn't really get the seriousness of it so I feel like I'm carrying it, if that makes sense.

Sorry to hear this. I know someone in a similar situation and this must be really hard to cope with.

TabithaTittlemouse · 30/04/2022 10:20

He’s probably not overthinking it and automatically sent a x

I’ve done the ‘love you, bye’ accidentally in work. A bit embarrassing but no harm meant or done.

do you have other concerns about this colleague?

Sounds like you are very stressed.

WimpoleHat · 30/04/2022 10:25

Overreaction. Some people do this all the time (the modern equivalent of my writing Love, Wimpole at the end of letters or cards to anyone for whom “Regards” is a bit stuffy). Others do so forgetfully. My DH once put kisses on a text to a football coach (he’d been texting me beforehand) and told the pub landlady that he loved her when finishing a call to book a table for dinner. For others, a x on the end of something is meant to indicate “it’s personal and not to do with business”. Any which way, I wouldn’t worry about it.

strongstrongtea · 30/04/2022 10:25

@TabithaTittlemouse I'm so sad, stressed and feel helpless.
He is a shadow of his former self and mood is so low.
I'm run ragged from
Minding everyone but feel like I'm
Falling apart.
No real concerns about the colleague except that she is exceptionally flirtatious and has a little thing for him.
He treats her like he treats everyone else but is her manager.

OP posts:
strongstrongtea · 30/04/2022 10:29

Some of these stories are so funny!! You've really cheered me up!
Cringing at so many of them😅

OP posts:
2tired2bewitty · 30/04/2022 10:44

If you want to go the opposite way OP my mother, with whom I have a loving and close relationship, sent my brother and I an email this morning about an event which she signed off

Best Wishes
Carol

which has tickled me.

hope your partner is on the mend soon, and that you can get some support.

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