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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect their Dad too

15 replies

Lifeofme1984 · 30/04/2022 07:14

So we are day 6 of a sick bug in this house, my eldest boy is fine but my youngest boy is suffering. Usually on a Saturday they go to their dads, he said to me if they are I’ll not to send them earlier in the week, apart from the fact he’s a parent and not a babysitter, I wouldn’t send them if they were sick anyway as it’s not fair on them, even though I’m not sure he should have the choice?
anyway, apart from going a bit crazy, supplies are low and I’ve exhausted deliveroo ( and it’s expensive ) I would like a couple hours to regroup and go to Aldi, especially as there’s a good chance I could be next. Is it unreasonable to expect him to have them both for a couple of hours ?

OP posts:
TheLadyofShalott1 · 30/04/2022 07:35

Does your ex live with very young children, or a pregnant partner? If yes then I think you are being unreasonable.
Does your ex work somewhere with ill health vunerable people eg NHS, nursing home etc?If yes then UABU.
If the answer to the above, and any similar circumstances is no. Then from that point of view you wouldn't be being unreasonable.

Would your ex be staying in your house with his children for those 2 hours? If yes, then UANBU.
If no, and your ex doesn't live within about 5 minutes of your house, then UABU - as your poor sick child probably won't be up to getting dressed properly, or for being a passenger for more than a very short distance.

If you UABU for any reason, then can you give your ex a shopping list and ask him to get some shopping in? I think that your ex would be very unreasonable to not be either willing to stay in your house for a couple of hours, or go shopping for you.
I really hope that you do manage to avoid it OP.

GimmeUrCoffee · 30/04/2022 07:36

even though I’m not sure he should have the choice?

I'm sure you'll get loads of people telling you that children should still maintain a contact schedule even when ill but I personally don't agree. It should work both ways, if they get a sick bug at his house they stay there until well, if at yours they stay there. Why spread it around two houses? That's what we've always done with my step sons mum. We kept him here much longer a few months ago for the same reason, because he was vomitting. We'd had it too so why would we just spread it to his mum for the sake of it?

Can he not go to Aldi for you? I also don't think it's fair on the people in the shop if you think you're about to catch a vomitting bug! Envy

ChocBloc · 30/04/2022 07:37

I absolutely get what you're saying but I think in this situation I'd say ok on condition he brings supplies. And then swap your weekends.

Notimeforaname · 30/04/2022 07:38

Yeah call him over to sit with them or ask him to get the shopping

ChocBloc · 30/04/2022 07:38

I wouldn’t send them if they were sick anyway as it’s not fair on them yes I agree.

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 07:51

Aldi do click and collect

LampLighter414 · 30/04/2022 07:57

How old are the children?

Original poster
Lifeofme1984 · 30/04/2022 08:29

TheLadyofShalott1 · 30/04/2022 07:35

Does your ex live with very young children, or a pregnant partner? If yes then I think you are being unreasonable.
Does your ex work somewhere with ill health vunerable people eg NHS, nursing home etc?If yes then UABU.
If the answer to the above, and any similar circumstances is no. Then from that point of view you wouldn't be being unreasonable.

Would your ex be staying in your house with his children for those 2 hours? If yes, then UANBU.
If no, and your ex doesn't live within about 5 minutes of your house, then UABU - as your poor sick child probably won't be up to getting dressed properly, or for being a passenger for more than a very short distance.

If you UABU for any reason, then can you give your ex a shopping list and ask him to get some shopping in? I think that your ex would be very unreasonable to not be either willing to stay in your house for a couple of hours, or go shopping for you.
I really hope that you do manage to avoid it OP.

Thank you, really appreciate this point of view. He has other children but they are older and no to the work thing, I would ask him to come to my house so I can pop up to the shops.
i really hope I do too, thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeofme1984 · 30/04/2022 08:30

GimmeUrCoffee · 30/04/2022 07:36

even though I’m not sure he should have the choice?

I'm sure you'll get loads of people telling you that children should still maintain a contact schedule even when ill but I personally don't agree. It should work both ways, if they get a sick bug at his house they stay there until well, if at yours they stay there. Why spread it around two houses? That's what we've always done with my step sons mum. We kept him here much longer a few months ago for the same reason, because he was vomitting. We'd had it too so why would we just spread it to his mum for the sake of it?

Can he not go to Aldi for you? I also don't think it's fair on the people in the shop if you think you're about to catch a vomitting bug! Envy

I agree, but this wouldn’t happen with him. If the boys were well and went there today and got ill tonight, he would send them back tomorrow as usual as he has work and it wouldn’t even enter his head to consider this at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeofme1984 · 30/04/2022 08:32

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 07:51

Aldi do click and collect

Oh do they? It’s literally up the road but i feel bad about getting them in the car as there’s nothing worse when you feel sick is there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lifeofme1984 · 30/04/2022 08:33

LampLighter414 · 30/04/2022 07:57

How old are the children?

5 and 3

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 08:38

Yeah I do understand what you mean but if you're desperate at least you know you can get a shop in Smile

Mirrorball2022 · 30/04/2022 08:40

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 07:51

Aldi do click and collect

Think it’s limited. This doesn’t run in any aldis in my area.

LetHimHaveIt · 30/04/2022 08:47

Mirrorball2022 · 30/04/2022 08:40

Think it’s limited. This doesn’t run in any aldis in my area.

Show quote history

Yeah; mine definitely doesn't.

girlmom21 · 30/04/2022 08:49

Oh that's crap - all our local ones do

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