40th and socks

[40andold]

So I turned 40… a long awaited and dreaded birthday.

DH is partner and I have been together 2.5 years and he’s younger than me by a year…. And in my mind I had already started planning a big birthday bash and holiday for his 40th.

DH has made a big deal of ‘planning’ my birthday….

So I woke up this morning, and there were a few balloons and an Aldi birthday cake and he made a big deal about me being back home by lunchtime for a surprise- there were also a couple of wrapped presents on the side.

I get home by the required time and he had thoughtfully arranged a massage at home by a therapist. It was all great and I was happy.

kids get home from school, and the great unwrapping of presents ensued.

I got a box of chocolates and socks. And that’s it.

literally, that was it.

I couldn’t hide the disappointment or the hurt. I have no idea what I expected from him- but the socks bit stung. Since then I have been in a foul mood and can’t shake it off.

Background info, I do 90% of the household chores, work hard in a difficult profession and DH WFH and I still manage to do more or less everything.

I just felt so underwhelmed and unappreciated.

AIBU?

He bought you a massage. That won't have been cheap.

What were you expecting? And did he know what you wanted?

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to feel so hurt? There was obviously thoughtfulness and care taken with cake, balloon, and a in home massage. I presume the chocolates were ok, it’s just the socks that were underwhelming. So one of the several things he did for your birthday was a miss…so what? No one is perfect.

Did you want a big party instead of the quiet family celebration you had? Is that the issue?

Yanbu socks is just such a thoughtless gift. I think for any occasion socks I'd such a cheap gift so for a 40th it's an insult. So are the chocolates, I mean those are things you can but for yourself on any random day. Did you give him an idea of what you would like?

Perhaps this is the motivation to get things to be fair?

The real issue is you feel unappreciated and do the lions share of the shit work despite also working.

He probably thought they were special 40th socks.

Go and choose something nice for yourself. Friend has got a new job and bought herself a Radley smartwatch - don't wait for someone else to get yourself something you would love and appreciate.

The home massage was the big gift surely?
I think it sounds quite nice to be honest, not sure why you mentioned Aldi - Aldi cakes are delicious. Would it of made a difference if it was Waitrose?

If you 'are still managing to everything' then you need to talk to oh about sharing.
Re your birthday - yabu, why not just enjoy the fact he arranged a home massage cos that probably was a mammoth task unless he does it on a regular basis.

I suppose the massage was the main gift but I agree socks are disappointing. Socks are stocking fillers for kids

Only if you don't like the kids much! Christ imagine how disappointed a kid would be opening socks Christmas morning!

Luxury socks - nice idea (wouldn't mind myself actually as I only buy basics!)
Novelty socks - meh but obviously a jokey present just alongside the nice massage and cake
Normal, basic, plain everyday socks - weird

Which were they?