To work out this friend

[SugarNspices]

Have you ever had a friend who something just doesn't sit right with you about them? So they seem nice and seem to be interesting and listen but often I don't know, they seem to pull the rug from under you in a conversation and want it to stop. So I've noticed it's happened a few times at least recently and I guess that's why I'm posting. To see if I'm being unreasonable.

So today the topic was cancer, I know her parents have cancer, let's call her friend A, well her dad is better from it now but her mum has started with her illness recently. Friend A brought it up and she asked how my dad was doing and he is doing fine now and it seems pretty much under control. Another friend, friend B was talking about when her DH had cancer but is also better (a few years ago). Friend C's very old dad had cancer and died of it probably about 7 years ago. She was making a drink at this time and friend B was saying what treatment really helped her DH a few years back etc I was agreeing that it what was good to for my dad, when then all of a sudden friend A announces to now stop this conversation as it might upset friend c who's dad died a while back. Sorry this is long winded I understand she might of been just feeling upset herself and using friend c as an excuse or genuinely thought it might. Thing is this friend has done this before with conversations so last time I think it was about helping people with Ukraine war and another time it was something about the climate and the storms, we've had it's like she just controls the conversation when she has had enough and just says "can we talk about something more positive now " Mostly though we are a positive bunch and are talking about what could be done and what we can do ourselves etc. I don't know if it's rude or what but it's started to get to be a pattern and I don't want it to be like we thread on egg shells or start a conversation she willing takes part in, to then be abruptly told they basically have had enough now.

My head hurts just reading that! Paragraphs?
Sorry

This is really hard to read and follow but assuming there isn't more to this, all instances you mentioned could have passed as normal, assuming she wasn't being rude, just generally trying to guide the conversation? Especially the Ukraine & War conversation and being mindful that the cancer topic might be too painful for certain friends.

As I said, assuming she wasn't rude, I wouldn't get offended by her behaviour.

I can see both sides as I have a friend who always gets on to doom and gloom topics (mostly so she can draw attention to herself) and it gets draining after a while if you are trying to have a nice time. How do the other friends seem to react?

I have met people who often abruptly end a particular topic of discussion. After a while, I find it difficult to socialise with them because you can never predict what topics will suddenly be out of bounds, and conversation doesn't flow naturally.

Hard to know without being there to judge whether the conversation was becoming morbid, or whether friend C was likely to be upset. I notice you mention that her late father was old, and I take it you included this to suggest that she would not be devastated by his death, but of course this is not necessarily the case.

Anyway, you clearly felt rebuked and had your feathers ruffled, so maybe next time you can just say "No, we're not finished talking about the storms, but if you're bored just play on your phone. We won't be long."

Funnily enough she is the one that often starts heavy conversations. Like today they were already talking about it when I arrived and she asked how my dad had done with his treatment etc.

I'm easy going and will talk about anything be it what their interests are or what questions I get asked, generally. It's like when she has had enough that's it. Sometimes she just looks away mid conversation like I'm done with this now. It's sort of awkward for a good few seconds until someone says something else.