Name change as this is a very sensitive and highly complex situation. It requires a backstory so I apologise if this becomes long.
Many years ago I was part of an Evangelical church in the South of the country. I was still at school and became part of the youth group. This was lovely and being in a somewhat dysfunctional family situation it was nice to feel like I belonged somewhere.
After about 6 months some new leaders took over the church and predominantly the youth side of things and at first they were really engaging, thoughtful, kind and encouraging and I continued to feel like I had found a home.
Over the next 5 years I experienced bullying, spiritual abuse, isolation, exclusion and was even made to feel like I was possessed. This was all at the hands on the main Church Leader. It was then that my boyfriend (now husband) pulled me out and I left the church.
The Church Leader in question was demonstrative, argumentative, cruel, unkind and no I am much older I realise he demonstrated very obvious narcissistic behaviour. I became a shell of a person and I remember in the last 6 months just doing anything to make him happy as I couldn't bear the public humiliation if I was to upset him.
Now decades later his behaviour has been recognised as wrong. It started publicly with a statement from a young girl who had grown up under his leadership and had become a leader herself and part of the 'inner circle'. Her statement was heart-breaking to read. Grooming, sexual, financial and spiritual abuse. This then prompted an independent investigation where over 30 people provided corroborating stories that supported this girl and spoke of their own abuse at the hands of this man.
To try and trim this down a little the outcome of the investigation was favourable (in the end) to the victims and both of the Church Leaders are no longer in employment or in positions of power where they can hurt anyone else. The main abuser released a very indulgent statement which was less remorseful and more about how much he has achieved regardless of his 'hard leadership'.
So here comes my dilemma - should this be enough or should we now be confronting the people in the church (who are also leaders) who saw this happen and never once stuck up for the vulnerable or hurting who were being abused. I understand he had a massive hold over these people and I know there was a lot of fear around people not wanting to 'be the one in trouble'.
Should his enables be confronted? Let me clear here I am not talking about a handful of church leaders. I am taking about other Leaders of high profile churches and prayer organisations who protected him and only made decisions not to keep him employed when there were no other options. Church leaders who are renown for their prophetic teachings and who at time came to the Church and told us to appreciate what a great leader this man was.
I think I am bemused that some of the victims are still in counselling, were suicidal and lost their faith, friends and sometimes there homes and jobs due to his calculated abuse. I am tired, exhausted and jaded but I feel like charities should not be void of accountability. This is the first time I have spoken about this other than in the statement I provided to the independent investigators. It has been so hard but I feel that for a Christian organisation the lack of remorse is tangible.