Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you ask to bring alcohol?

30 replies

LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:31

DD has been invited to a party at the weekend at her friends house in the garden. They are 6/7. The girls mum whos party it is has arranged a bouncy castle, entertainer that kind of thing. She said parents are welcome to stay or go. I'm staying just because I haven't been round there before and DD is still young.

Anyway on the parent group chat we have, someone asked if it was ok if they brought alcohol alone to the child's party for the other parents to drink? Someone replied they would bring straws for the alcohol (it was not the party organiser). The organiser has not replied to this question.

AIBU to think this is rude? It's a child's birthday party, not a knees up opportunity to get drunk.

OP posts:
Howaboutnope · 29/04/2022 10:33

I agree, I'd think thats weird.

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/04/2022 10:33

No. Tea/coffee

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 29/04/2022 10:34

it depends on their relationship of who has asked, they may be close and just asking out of respect. personally i would be fine with that but the decision is for the organiser. i doubt anyone will be getting wasted but some close friends and kids may stay after the party time

katmarie · 29/04/2022 10:35

I went to a 2 year olds birthday where the host parents had put on some wine/bottles beers for the parents, but I would never have thought to take my own, that seems rude unless you know the host well enough to know they'd welcome it.

Chickychoccyegg · 29/04/2022 10:36

It seems a bit strange to ask I guess, I have been to similar parties where the organiser has offered a glass of wine and had snacks for the adults which was lovely

Nelliephant1 · 29/04/2022 10:37

Completely inappropriate. It's a children's party for goodness sake. Are they intending to drive home?!!

Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:39

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 29/04/2022 10:34

it depends on their relationship of who has asked, they may be close and just asking out of respect. personally i would be fine with that but the decision is for the organiser. i doubt anyone will be getting wasted but some close friends and kids may stay after the party time

Well this is the thing, they person who asked isn't close to the person whose organised the party.

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/04/2022 10:39

Say you’re an alcoholic without saying you’re an alcoholic…

keratoms · 29/04/2022 10:40

I like a drink as much as the next person but yes I think that's strange. A tea or coffee or soft drink is fine at a childrens party in the afternoon. Odd thing to ask.

Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:41

Nelliephant1 · 29/04/2022 10:37

Completely inappropriate. It's a children's party for goodness sake. Are they intending to drive home?!!

They live down the road, so would properly walk. I still think it's inappropriate though.
We recently held DS 12th birthday party. The parent's who stayed we offered tea/coffee

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:41

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/04/2022 10:39

Say you’re an alcoholic without saying you’re an alcoholic…

😂 my thoughts

OP posts:
nearlyspringyay · 29/04/2022 10:42

Very odd, and I'm rather partial to a glass of wine!

@LemonH20 you still have parents staying at a 12yo party?1

girlmom21 · 29/04/2022 10:45

It's really inappropriate.

NoSquirrels · 29/04/2022 10:47

Everywhere I’ve lived since being a parent, hosts have invariably offered alcohol if you stay for a bit, so a beer at a 7 year olds afternoon garden party wouldn’t be totally remarkable. If I’d stayed for any reason to your 12 year old’s party (although - why? Confused) if you’d offered a glass of wine or beer I wouldn’t assume you were an alcoholic! But there’s never any obligation to say yes, it’s just part of the options offered at certain people’s houses.

It’s a bit weird to ask to bring alcohol to a party - either do or don’t, surely? It’s also a bit weird not to answer the question if you’re the host.

Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:48

nearlyspringyay · 29/04/2022 10:42

Very odd, and I'm rather partial to a glass of wine!

@LemonH20 you still have parents staying at a 12yo party?1

Well tbh the ones who stayed were family friends so stayed and spoke to me and DH and other family members.

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:51

NoSquirrels · 29/04/2022 10:47

Everywhere I’ve lived since being a parent, hosts have invariably offered alcohol if you stay for a bit, so a beer at a 7 year olds afternoon garden party wouldn’t be totally remarkable. If I’d stayed for any reason to your 12 year old’s party (although - why? Confused) if you’d offered a glass of wine or beer I wouldn’t assume you were an alcoholic! But there’s never any obligation to say yes, it’s just part of the options offered at certain people’s houses.

It’s a bit weird to ask to bring alcohol to a party - either do or don’t, surely? It’s also a bit weird not to answer the question if you’re the host.

Agree, so I wouldn't think it was odd if the host offered a glass of wine or beer whilst at the party. Because it's then the host's decision if they would like that there.
But this mum asked to bring some bottles of alcohol to the party. Which i do find inappropriate. And another mum replied, i'll bring straws. And then it's put onto the host and not their decision.

OP posts:
Toponeniceon · 29/04/2022 10:51

I don't really drink these days but think this is entirely appropriate/normal.

Mytoddlerisamazing · 29/04/2022 10:53

I don't think it's weird to have alcohol at a child's birthday party (the last 2yo birthday party I went to I was offered wine/beer). I do think it's odd for another parent to ask though, especially on a group chat where it will inevitably make the host feel awkward about saying "no".

NoSquirrels · 29/04/2022 10:54

And then it's put onto the host and not their decision.

Well, yes, but if you feel strongly you don’t want alcohol at the party as the host then you can say “Actually chaps, sorry to be a party pooper but I’d rather it was soft drinks, what with the bouncy castle and all!”
And if you don’t care you just say “Great! Bring what you like.”

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/04/2022 10:56

If the parent who is paying for this party wanted parents to drink, they'd supply it or say it was a piss up for the parents OK before anybody asked. I'd always assume it wasn't OK otherwise.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/04/2022 10:56

Also, Drunk People + Bouncy Castle = Afternoon At A&E.

Ditto trampolines.

ShirleyPhallus · 29/04/2022 10:57

We have always had a few bottles of wine / beer available for the parents at kids parties, along with soft drinks and tea / coffee. So have all my friends.

at a kids party there really isn’t much parenting to do so it’s nice to be able to relax and enjoy a catch up with the other parents. Nothing to do with “being an alcoholic”, but pre-kids we would often sit in someone’s garden on a Saturday afternoon with a few beers so keen for that not to really change how we have kids. Doesn’t mean anyone gets hammered or isn’t in a fit state to parent.

gingercat02 · 29/04/2022 10:57

I have been offered a glass of wine at the occasional kids party over the years but I was usually driving so didn't bother. I absolutely wouldn't take my own!

Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 10:57

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/04/2022 10:56

If the parent who is paying for this party wanted parents to drink, they'd supply it or say it was a piss up for the parents OK before anybody asked. I'd always assume it wasn't OK otherwise.

Agree or if they wanted to bring some alcohol but wasn't sure, you'd privately message the organiser instead of on a group chat right?

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonH20 · 29/04/2022 11:01

ShirleyPhallus · 29/04/2022 10:57

We have always had a few bottles of wine / beer available for the parents at kids parties, along with soft drinks and tea / coffee. So have all my friends.

at a kids party there really isn’t much parenting to do so it’s nice to be able to relax and enjoy a catch up with the other parents. Nothing to do with “being an alcoholic”, but pre-kids we would often sit in someone’s garden on a Saturday afternoon with a few beers so keen for that not to really change how we have kids. Doesn’t mean anyone gets hammered or isn’t in a fit state to parent.

I'm not saying no alcohol IF the host offers and is ok with it. My point was i find it rude that the parent asked to bring their own bottles on a group chat and who isn't close to the organiser.

The parent who asked also does like a party and so does their DP. So I guess because I know their character it seems they want to get drunk.

OP posts: