Should I let my Dad drive to pick up my kids? He has Parkinson's and...

[Mummybear888]

My Dad keeps asking to pick up the kids from school. He is 70 now and was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 7 years ago. His health is definitely deteriorating.

He has driven me a handful of times and his driving does seem fine. When he is on his feet though walking around the house, he has tripped a few times and he always shuffles on his feet. He also uses a cane to walk with.

He recently had to get his license renewed because he turned 70, however it sounds like all he needed to do was to fill out a form and for his Doctor to speak with the DVLA. Doesn't seem like the best way to be assessed?

Should he really be driving if he is not the most stable on his feet (when walking around the house/streets)?

Every time I broach the subject with him, he tells me he is ok to drive but I honestly don't know if he should be.

Any advice appreciated!

You need to ask?

Your responsibility for your children’s safety takes precedence over your dad’s feelings.

I'd be ok with this, he wouldnt risk your kids safety would he? He's your dad.and hes done the right things with the doc speaking to the dvla etc. I'd allow it but then i trust my dad completely to know whether he is safe or not.

My mum also Parkinson's although is younger than your dad. I am definitely reluctant to have her drive my children although I feel awful about it. She's had her GP sign off on her DVLA renewal so is deemed safe to drive but it's a tricky one isn't it? It's a horrible disease. I'm no help, sorry

If he’s been assessed by his doctor and so his licence renewed by the DVLA, and you don’t have any concerns about his driving because he’s seemed fine when driving you, then he is likely to be a perfectly safe driver. He’s sitting down to drive, that’s different to walking. Many people with physical restrictions are fine to drive and it provides them with a great deal of freedom.

Whether you want someone with Parkinson’s to drive your children is your own issue and you wouldn’t be unreasonable to say no if you’re not completely happy. But nothing you’ve written suggests he’s unsafe to drive, even by your own experience.

I have a relative who can't walk without crutches, but is fine to drive and drives long distances here and abroad.

Have you been in the car with your dad recently? Did you feel safe? If not, then don't let him pick the kids up.

Going forwards, maybe suggest he has hand controls fitted.

If it was your employee eg nanny what would you do ?

How are his hands, in terms of shaking etc.? I'd be concerned about how quick his reflexes are if someone stepped out in front of the car, and how he changes gear. Is his car manual or automatic?

I'd maybe try to arrange a trip where you're a passenger to get a measure of his driving. Parkinsons can take some big leaps suddenly, so what he can do at one point, he may quite suddenly not be able to do.

My dad has Parkinson's, diagnosed about 4 years ago. He was also shuffling on his feet when walking. He was ok with driving and was confident in doing so. He then started having problems driving in the dark, clipped a kerb and the confidence went. He made up his own mind to then sell the car. I will advise though that he also had a condition linked to Parkinson's (unknown at the time of selling the car) so that may have been part of the issues. Your dad has done the right thing with the DVLA and the doctor. From my point of view - I wouldn't of got in my dads car, I just had a nagging feeling. It's going to be your decision in the end, I can't see that anybody will tell you otherwise - it's all down to how you feel. Take care.

Go on a car journey and assess for yourself. YABU to judge based on his mobility. Or do you think that we should scrap the mobility car scheme?

My dad had Parkinsons, he was fine actually driving but eventually gave up when he run into the back of a couple of cars (two separate occasions). Only slow, low level impacts luckily but his reflexes weren't quick enough to stop when they braked in front of him.

A relative of mine after a stroke could hardly walk, shuffling and balance bad but could drive with no problem at all.
If your Dad’s Doctor has said he’s ok to drive and the DVLA are happy for him to be on the road, then I can’t see a problem with it at all.
There are also plenty of disabled people who can drive successfully.

Unfortunately Parkinson’s can affect cognition too and cause issues with reaction times and distraction and for me this would be enough to say no. Your children are your responsibility so you have to do what you think is best.

The doctor probably gave the DVLA a medical certificate, my DD is an epileptic and lost her lisence after she began having seizures but got it back only after their was written confirmation by her neurologist that she had not had a seizure in a year. They are quite thorough about things.

You can have an actual driving assessment, it's usually with a driving instructor and an OT. A relative of mine was stopped from driving after an assessment, despite maintaining that they were 'absolutely fine to drive'.

I also work with Parkinson's patient and I see an awful lot of denial - that's not for everyone and I understand that the disease affects people in many degrees and many ways.

I'd suggest some form of face to face assessment if possible, they don't just say 'yes' or 'no' to driving, they can also suggest things that can make driving more accessible and safe

What on earth has the OP got to do with the Motability scheme?

I would have concerns and would put my DCs safety first. As other posters have said, cognition can be affected.

Thank you everyone for your advice - much appreciated.

Even though he has passed the DVLA checks and he says he is fine to drive, I have decided that I will just go with my gut feeling and have him no longer drive them.

Thank you again everyone 😊

Her DF might think he's safe. My elderly family member did too. But he drifted into oncoming traffic and killed my mother who was a passenger and another woman.
I certainly wouldn't trust my children's safety to someone's good intentions, particularly when they have a condition that affects cognitive ability.

I think you've made the right decision. You say his driving is fine, but I'm guessing you haven't seen him do an emergency stop or how quickly he reacts when someone walks into the road or brakes in front of him.

Yep, I'm familiar with PD and I agree that an awful lot of denial goes on with the patients.

I would have made the same decision and not allow him. I also think it's very odd that he keeps asking to. I can't see why anyone would be asking like that unless you've said you are having difficulties getting there to collect them.

I think sung him drive or maybe getting an assessment is better than just deciding he's unsafe.

From what you've said your concerns are because he is unsteady walking and yet there are many people who cannot walk at all but can drive perfectly safely. Saying cant walk fully = too dangerous to drive is unfair and would condemn many disabled people to a very lonely life.

If his feet can't move quickly enough, then he can have an adapted vehicle.

Frankly, I'd do a day trip together, with him doing a pot of driving, and take it from there.

My mil drove, almost right up til she died, despite her walking having been reduced to an extremely slow shuffle and being registered disabled. However, the fact that she was sitting down enabled her to use her legs and arms with no problem.

I suppose the determination is

a) whether he is being completely honest

b) whether the kids are young enough to require a bit of physical mobility from him - eg exuberant 4yo rushing about and not stopping at driveways type thing.

Not in a million years! One of my friends tried to stop her father driving because he was totally unsafe. It turned out there was nothing she could actually do to get him off the roads. There were only a very few things that were available as grounds and very little that she could do as a relative. The other thing is that depending on the progression of the disease, he might be fine this week but what about in two months? Would he appreciate and tell you that he had a rapid decline? I understand older people associate being able to drive with keeping their independence but your responsibility is to keep your children safe.

Parkinson’s is a progressive condition and it affects different people in different ways. There are so many misconceptions about it.

My dad had a lot of problems with walking but was able to drive very well with no issues for a long time - his consultant confirmed that there was no reason he shouldn’t drive; he could control a car perfectly well and his reflexes were very fast. Similarly, for years he could walk up or down a flight of stairs much more safely than he could walk on a flat surface, which is weird.

So it really does depend on so many different factors - how advanced your dad’s Parkinson’s is at the moment, what drugs he’s on (my dad had to give up driving when he had to start on a really strong medication that made him hallucinate), and what his particular symptoms are. It really isn’t as simple as “God, no, absolutely not, it’s too risky.” There are certainly people who are perfectly healthy who are significantly worse drivers than plenty of people with Parkinson’s. There are some people with Parkinson’s who absolutely shouldn’t be driving and some who are fine. It’s not as simple as ‘nobody with Parkinson’s is OK to drive’.