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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this friendship weird?

33 replies

Lissy23 · 28/04/2022 18:10

I’ve become good friends with a 60 year old man I’m a 33 year old woman.
Is it weird?
We met through work.

We go for coffee regularly and get on well / have a laugh together. I’m just feeling it’s a bit strange due to the age gap.

OP posts:
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 28/04/2022 18:10

No. Totally normal

Ultimatebetrayal · 28/04/2022 18:11

No. One of my best mates had just turned 70. I'm 46. Who cares about age

Sirzy · 28/04/2022 18:12

I find it stranger when adults restrict friendships based on age.

AWOL66 · 28/04/2022 18:13

I don't think it's a weird idea but in my experience men and women can't be friends one on one no matter what the man claims his intentions are! There's a whole thread on this on Mumsnet somewhere.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/04/2022 18:14

Week in sure the "men and women can't be friends" Brigade will tell you he's just trying to line you up for sex, but no u don't think it's weird. If it was a 60 yo woman no one would care. If you take away any change of sexual attraction, what's the difference?

You have written as you're common interest, but politics, books, music etc all cross generations

Prettyhorrified · 28/04/2022 18:14

In theory I think it’s fine but I thought I had a friendship with my ex stepfather who was 50+ years older and in the end it turned out he was a dirty pervert so I’m sceptical

Secnarf · 28/04/2022 18:15

No. It is a nice thing. Through a shared interest, I have friends from late teens to people in their 70s

hepaticanobilis · 28/04/2022 18:15

No, I had a similar friendship with a work colleague old enough to be my dad (his kids were my age) and it was not weird at all.

Itwasntmeright · 28/04/2022 18:17

If you enjoy each other’s company and you’re both happy with the situation, why would it be?

choosername1234 · 28/04/2022 18:20

I'm with the other sceptical people. I would strongly suspect he fancies his chances at getting you into bed

devildeepbluesea · 28/04/2022 18:23

I’ve always had male friends who are just friends and am a bit gobsmacked at some of the opinions on M-F friendships on MN.

I also have lots of friends who are lots younger or older than me. Male and female. I think it’s a bit pathetic if you rule out friendships based on age or sex.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 28/04/2022 18:23

Not weird. At all. Enjoy your friendship, and please don't taint it with distrust because of an age gap and worries about other people's thoughts on the matter.

Also, on a side note - not all men are automatically looking for sex in a friendship with a woman.

ChazzaGirl · 28/04/2022 18:50

devildeepbluesea · 28/04/2022 18:23

I’ve always had male friends who are just friends and am a bit gobsmacked at some of the opinions on M-F friendships on MN.

I also have lots of friends who are lots younger or older than me. Male and female. I think it’s a bit pathetic if you rule out friendships based on age or sex.

Totally agree with this. I’ve got female and male friends ranging from early 30s to late 60s and I love spending time with all of them. Not everyone is after something.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/04/2022 18:53

It is certainly possible, but only time will really tell.

FeathersMcGee · 28/04/2022 18:57

devildeepbluesea · 28/04/2022 18:23

I’ve always had male friends who are just friends and am a bit gobsmacked at some of the opinions on M-F friendships on MN.

I also have lots of friends who are lots younger or older than me. Male and female. I think it’s a bit pathetic if you rule out friendships based on age or sex.

Same here.

Furrbabymama87 · 28/04/2022 19:08

It must be weird because you say yourself you think it's weird. If you like each other, it's fine though. I once dated a man in his early 70s when I was in my mid 20s. He was so lovely but one of the reasons we ended it was the age gap and lack of things in common . But as a casual friendship, its OK.

Thetoasterhasbroken · 28/04/2022 19:10

I think it’s lovely to have friends of all ages. I am 49 and have friends of various ages, one is 90.

JustATomCat · 28/04/2022 19:14

It's only weird if you think it's weird.
A lot of my friends are 14/17 years older than me!

WoodenClock · 28/04/2022 19:21

I think it's weird. I'm not a million miles away from his age and I don't think I'd be regularly having coffee with a colleague/friend half my age , regardless of their sex. I have friends of that sort of age I socialise with in a mixed group and might occasionally meet up 121 for a specific purpose/event but to be meeting regaularly 121?

Is he married and what does he say about his wife? Does she know you regularly have coffee?

Rory1234 · 28/04/2022 19:22

I’m 38 and one of my closest friends is 58. We’ve been friends for 20 years. Age is just a number!

Labscollie · 28/04/2022 19:26

It's not weird. Anybody who says otherwise is just shallow. It's great to swap life experiences.

IMustGoToBed · 28/04/2022 20:03

I became really close friends with my boss when I was in my early 20s and he was in his 50s. There was never a hint of weirdness or creepyness.

MadMadMadamMim · 28/04/2022 20:06

I'm close to 60 and one of my best mates is male and 40. I'm friendly with his wife too - but he and I worked closely together for a long time and we just get each other. There's absolutely nothing sexual or romantic about our relationship, but we have a good laugh together.

iklboo · 28/04/2022 20:07

Not at all. I'm 52 and have friends from 28 to 70.

Norush4 · 28/04/2022 20:26

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/04/2022 18:53

It is certainly possible, but only time will really tell.

Absolutely.
What do you have in common OP? In work chat is fine... to meet up though. Your completely different generations. If it was any male family member of mine I would think they were Pervy sorry.... its early days so do update us!

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