Does anyone else have to force themselves to socialise?

[OneTiredMama30]

Just wondered if it's just me or if it's more common that I thought!

I'm a introvert, I prefer being with my immediate family and my books and cats. 😂
I've always been like this but still when I was younger I did have a group of good friends who I saw once a month or so. They were also introverts so it worked pretty well.

Then I moved away and while I've made new friends. I really struggle to socialise.
They always want me to host in the evenings at mine and I just find it so stressful leading up to it.
I don't have a lot to talk about (different interests I.e I love conspiracy theories and politics and science and they enjoy talking about their kids and gossiping) and find myself just nodding and agreeing till it's over.
I've hidden myself away for a while due to pandemic (it was amazing!) and now it's over (well sort of but that's another conversation) I'm having to socialise again and I'm finding myself having to force myself to meet up with these new friends.
Sometimes I enjoy myself but other times I feel like I'm missing out and could be doing better things with my time.
Is this normal? I never struggled with my old group of friends and could quite happily chat to them for hours about things!
I should properly mention I'm autistic too so do struggle with social skills to a degree.

Stop hosting, surely, if no one else wants to, it's done.

That's the thing. I want to stop hosting. I don't enjoy it.
However whenever I say no that's not a good time for me or I can't do the evenings, I get ignored and they continue to ask until I feel pressured into saying yes.

It really is tiring it goes

"Heytriedmama do you want to meet up Tuesday evening?"
"Sorry as I've said before evenings aren't good for me I'm tired and in bed by 8 and I have DC as well to sort."
"Okay but I can't do daytimes."
"No problem maybe we can meet up with DC in the hoildays over the daytime?"

Qeue the next day

"Hey tired mama do you want to meet up Thursday evening?"

And so on and so on.

I'm exactly the same OP. Just can't be arsed with most people. When I do force myself out, I just want to be at home cosied up with my boys and/or my partner. I can totally leave everyone else in the world to be honest.

You just need to be firm with them.

"I can't host, please stop badgering me to host. I can't do evenings, ever so please stop asking".

And if they keep hassling you and you don't want to see them anymore, just block them.

20!!?? Cripes. Outside my kids and partner, I think I have 3 at a push.

Please stop hosting if you dislike it. There would be an argument for you taking your turn if everyone else was, or if you had never done it and were just assuming you'd hate it. But you've done it. You dislike it. And nobody else is doing it.

I am introverted and like my own company. I am comfortable with my partner and children, but even then I find myself needing to get away on my own. I can be with other people if I have plenty of notice and can acclimatise myself to the idea. Even then, it will be a big blot of doom on my calendar. I hate being like this, but have been this way, to a greater or lesser extent, since childhood. I would love to be more sociable and more comfortable around people and really envy those who are.

Apologies. I totally missed it. I think advice would have been very different from many posters if they had spotted that.

No worries. It's been insightful advice anyway.

Thanks for all the advice, I need to stand firm and stop worrying about being rude. I need to do what's best for me clearly.

They sound very pushy! You're not being rude, they are. You've done your share of the hosting for a while, so it's their turn to do some of the work. If you start to feel guilty or awkward about saying "no, that doesn't work for me", remind yourself that you're not the rude one in this situation. They can host, if they want to see you, or you can all meet somewhere else. Or you can just phase them out and see less of them. If you don't have much in common with them and they're insisting on having everything their own way, they're not contributing much to your life, anyway.

They are very pushy. I've had enough if I'm honest I've said before "let's go to so and so's" or my DH is unwell so I can't have people over and I get excuse after excuse.
After this evening I'm going to put my foot down and just say I can't host anymore. I'm really anxious about them coming over tonight, I'm really not comfortable about it.
They also struggle to know when it's time to leave so that doesn't help either.