AIBU to think I may be in a toxic relationship? ☹️

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For context, me and my DH have been together for almost 9 years and have 1 DC. Within those 9 years we have spent almost every day together (amongst my other friends DH is one of my best, we talk about everything).

One of my friends organised a girls holiday away for her hen do (think party place abroad). I was really unsure at first to leave DH and DC for 5 days but decided a girls holiday was really something I wanted to do so decided to go.

When I was there I had CONSTANT messages from DH which was fine, as I wanted to speak to both him and DC every day. But it just felt a little overwhelming at times and like I couldn't fully relax. My girl friends also thought it was a little OTT.

I came home yesterday and DH was constantly asking if I basically cheated (no history, not a holiday like that, no reason to give for him to think that). I thought this was really strange as I've never know him to be insecure before. He woke me up at 1AM last night to ask again, 1 AM!! Again I said NO and expressed my frustration with the constant asking and little trust in me (despite our smooth sailing relationship). He finished the conversation by saying he doesn't feel comfortable with me going on holiday with the girls again.

I am just flabbergasted this morning and haven't said anything about it yet.

What is evreyones thoughts please?

Sounds like hes always been controlling, hes just managed to do in a subtle way that makes you think its sweet rather than controlling.

In your shoes I'd tell him the asking you if you've cheated AND waking you up are both unacceptable, as was the constant messaging, and you dont want to hear a single word more on it or hes straight out the door. No ifs or buts or one last time of checking. Over. Done. I'd also be on alert and actively make a point of doing kore away from him and not let him tag along. Build up and strengthen your friendships away from him. Good way of seeing how he behaves and makes sure you have a strong independent network should you ever need it.

For 9 years you have stayed within the boundaries he has set and done everything he wanted.

Now you have gone outside those boundaries he is punishing you. This is coercive control as PP said and it will escalate.