To find ‘sure’ a rude and annoying response

[CouldIBeAnymoreOuting]

I don’t mean so much in answer to a question, as in “Do you want a drink?” Response: “Sure” (although I do find it a confusingly non-affirmative response in this context).

I have a relative who likes to use “Sure” in place of things like “OK”, “Good”, or “I see”.

A conversation will typically go like this - relative: “How’s work?” Me: “Pretty busy, lots of new projects starting”. Relative: “Sure”.

Honestly can’t tell whether they are trying to let me know they find me boring and don’t care for my responses to their questions, or whether they just think ‘Sure’ is a perfectly acceptable comment in most scenarios.

My Y9 used it instead of yes, and I hate it!

For example, I’ll say, “would you like me to take you to school this morning, as it’s raining?”

I want her to say, “yes please”.
She says, “sure”.

She’s actually not a rude child, and I think to her it means “yes”. But to me, it feels like a flippant confirmation, more like she’s doing a favour to me, not vice versa!

Personally I understand where you’re coming from with this OP. If someone offers you something the only polite way to answer is “Yes please”. In examples you’ve given it comes across quite dismissive to me as well. I do hear it more often from younger people, so if I say “shall we play a game”, my daughter will often respond “sure”. But manners are HUGE to me so if they tried to insert sure where manners were required they’d get a big fat nothing from me!!

I think it has an undertone of "yeah, whatever" to it when used in the context that the OP has given.

Yes I also ask questions and often get “sure” as a response. For eg, me: “tell me more about X subject, I don’t know much about it, is it like Y subject?” Them: “Sure, but it’s actually more like Z subject”. Essentially, they really just like the word ‘sure’ a lot and use it in several contexts but none of them seem quite the right usage to me.

Said relative can be quite condescending in other ways so perhaps I am conflating the use of ‘sure’ with that.

I find it super rude, but because my daughter uses it rudely (and often). For example

Me: Can you empty the dishwasher, please?
DD: Sure

Is no problem for me, but

Me: You’re running a bit late, shall I make your lunch for you?
DD: Sure
Me: Not sure. “Yes, please”

Is more often how it goes. It seems so ungrateful, somehow. Probably I’m just old fashioned and curmudgeonly, though. Bah, Tweens!

I find it rude, one of DD's friends would say "sure" when I asked her if she wanted a drink/snack etc instead of "yes please"

Thing is we all have our different habits, unconscious, automatic, things we do from family, upbringing, norms, even TV shows or picking up from friends.

I would seriously try to just get over this and assume no one is being rude unless they clearly are. I mean what's the point in worrying about how others speak?

I answered "K" to my husband, I was in a happy mood and "K" was a smiling response from me, he came back asking me "why are you being arsey?"

I just assume people mean things in a nice way all the time.

It’s very common here in the US. I don’t consider it to be rude. I say it a lot myself. It’s just another way of saying “yes”. For example, checking in to a hotel and they say “can I see your ID?” I’ll say “sure” as I have it over.

It’s no big deal.

Hand it over

Yes, it depends on context. To mean yes, it's OK (Will you unload the dishwasher? Sure.) and sometimes not (Would you like a lift? Yes please.)
I have a similar problem with my lovely DIL when I ask her if e.g. she wants more coffee: "I'm OK". The first couple of times I thought she said "OK" and then saw her confusion when I refilled her cup. Why not "No, thanks"?
And don't get me started on people in shops who say "You alright?" instead of "Hello", "May I help you?", "Yes?", "Who's next?", etc etc.

I think the only time it's rude is if you're doing someone a favour or getting them something and it is just 'sure' instead of 'yes please' or 'that would be great thanks'. In other scenarios, no it's not rude I don't think.

I suppose it depends on the context then, I'm not sure I'd find it rude, but in some circumstances it can come across as disinterested.

Or, "I'm good" to mean "No thanks." So confusing!

My dd says this and I do find it short and a bit rude, but seems a standard response these days

As others:
as a response to ‘do you want something’? It’s ok

as a response to ‘can I help you with something’?
a bit rude

as a response to telling someone about your day?
doesn't make sense

In the first question, I'd take it mean 'Since you offered, yes', it wasn't on their mind before that, but they like the offer.

For the second, I'd take it as 'understandable', they're empathizing that it makes sense for you to be busy with new projects.

I don't tend to use it, but I don't see it as annoying and only in the most negative tone would I assume they were being rude.