Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me or DH?

24 replies

Jobhelpplease · 28/04/2022 11:07

DH is in the Forces, he is UK based just now but can often have long days and has to take 24 hour duties a couple of days a month.

We have multiple DC, dogs, horses so when he is taking a duty the care of above falls on me, non issue, love our live and all the work that comes with it. It does however mean both our days are busy and full and grabbing a quick 5 minutes over the phone can be quite tricky.

DH Woking away yesterday, and finally managed to get each other about 10pm last night, I had a both a funny DC related story and something money related I wanted to run by him. Had a couple minutes talking about his day and then moved onto mine and he proceeded to start yawning throughout my chat.

I’m not just talking about kind of yawns you do behind you hand or silently but big mouth wide open, noisy yawns. I pulled him up on it and he got really shitty with me, “cant believe your having a go” “I’ve not fucking stopped” he then told me yawning is involuntary and here is nothing he can do about it.

AIBU to think it’s extremely fucking rude to yawn noisily when someone is try to talk to you.

DH can often have the work phone and get called in the middle of the night, at the end of the long day, when dealing with banks, school any other verbal situation I’ve never heard him be anything but articulate and alert, so it’s just me that yawning is involuntary with...

Should I just LTB? 😜

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 28/04/2022 11:16

Jobhelpplease · 28/04/2022 11:07

DH is in the Forces, he is UK based just now but can often have long days and has to take 24 hour duties a couple of days a month.

We have multiple DC, dogs, horses so when he is taking a duty the care of above falls on me, non issue, love our live and all the work that comes with it. It does however mean both our days are busy and full and grabbing a quick 5 minutes over the phone can be quite tricky.

DH Woking away yesterday, and finally managed to get each other about 10pm last night, I had a both a funny DC related story and something money related I wanted to run by him. Had a couple minutes talking about his day and then moved onto mine and he proceeded to start yawning throughout my chat.

I’m not just talking about kind of yawns you do behind you hand or silently but big mouth wide open, noisy yawns. I pulled him up on it and he got really shitty with me, “cant believe your having a go” “I’ve not fucking stopped” he then told me yawning is involuntary and here is nothing he can do about it.

AIBU to think it’s extremely fucking rude to yawn noisily when someone is try to talk to you.

DH can often have the work phone and get called in the middle of the night, at the end of the long day, when dealing with banks, school any other verbal situation I’ve never heard him be anything but articulate and alert, so it’s just me that yawning is involuntary with...

Should I just LTB? 😜

I understand your perspectives op, could the yawnings being used to cover up some background sounds that your dh doesent want you to hear ?

Other than that, it does seem rude.

Indicatrice · 28/04/2022 11:18

Start doing it to him and see how he likes it.

Justcallmebebes · 28/04/2022 11:50

I understand your perspectives op, could the yawnings being used to cover up some background sounds that your dh doesent want you to hear ?

🙄

anewwayforward · 28/04/2022 11:56

"I understand your perspectives op, could the yawnings being used to cover up some background sounds that your dh doesent want you to hear ?"

Really?!? Tbh he sounds knackered.

purpleboy · 28/04/2022 13:17

Jesus I can't help but yawn, if anyone else can control a yawn then please tell me how.
Give the guy a break he sounds knackered!!

PeskyRooks · 28/04/2022 13:20

Just reading this thread made me yawn!

Fairislefandango · 28/04/2022 14:00

YABU. Yawning just means you're tired, unless it's a fake yawn to express boredom. I mean... I would avoid doing it if I were in a meeting or being told something deadly serious, but I really don't think yawning out of tiredness during a casual conversation with a member of your own family is rude in the slightest tbh.

Original poster
Jobhelpplease · 28/04/2022 14:00

I think my point is we are both knackered, we both haven’t stopped but I still summon up the energy for 5 minutes of our day to be pleased to hear from him and find how his day has gone.

its not about yawning but putting in a little effort into the tiny part of the day that we have together.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 28/04/2022 14:02

He's just tired isn't he? Is that not allowed in relationships? (Once again, so glad I'm single, can yawn when I like without my spouse writing about it).

Vsirbdo · 28/04/2022 14:02

I would expect him to smother the yawn; it is involuntary but no need to do it as if he’s making a point

ManateeFair · 28/04/2022 14:05

I think I’d be yawning if I were in his position

RealBecca · 28/04/2022 14:05

Films have just said you're clearly tired lets pick up another time. Depending on how pissed off I was I'd possibly ignore his next couple of calls and hope that it nips the bud.

StrangeCondition · 28/04/2022 14:07

you can yawn without making a loud noise though and yes, it is very rude to do this when on the phone

StrangeCondition · 28/04/2022 14:08

ManateeFair · 28/04/2022 14:05

I think I’d be yawning if I were in his position

Unnecessary

arethereanyleftatall · 28/04/2022 14:10

@StrangeCondition
I think that poster meant because he'd just worked a very long stretch, as opposed to the op being boring.

trevthecat · 28/04/2022 14:12

My dh works away. We talk most evenings on the phone. He used to discuss his day and then when it was my turn he would switch off, yawn, make excuses to get off the phone. I called him out on it. Said he just didn't really get, or find my job interesting etc, I told him I didn't with his either but I listen and nod where appropriate. He now makes more effort to ask about my day etc. You need to tell him you find it rude, because it is! Call him out. Its not yawning because he's tired, he's hinting he's not interested and it's rude

StrangeCondition · 28/04/2022 14:12

arethereanyleftatall · 28/04/2022 14:10

@StrangeCondition
I think that poster meant because he'd just worked a very long stretch, as opposed to the op being boring.

Ah right! Sorry, I'm used to people being snippy on here Grin

Cas112 · 28/04/2022 14:13

Imagine not being allowed to yawn 😂

Original poster
Jobhelpplease · 28/04/2022 14:15

@trevthecat your probably right, though was his children I was speaking about which makes it even more dickish!

I did call him out last night but think just bad timing on my part as he was genuinely tired and grumpy, think I will have a similar conversation with him this weekend.

OP posts:
DogWithMyOwnRoom · 28/04/2022 14:17

Jobhelpplease · 28/04/2022 14:00

I think my point is we are both knackered, we both haven’t stopped but I still summon up the energy for 5 minutes of our day to be pleased to hear from him and find how his day has gone.

its not about yawning but putting in a little effort into the tiny part of the day that we have together.

You’re right, it IS rude … but given your LTB? 😜on your OP I realise this is a lighthearted(ish) post and would just remind you that we all relax with our nearest and dearest.

I think he should make a bit more effort, but also you should be flattered that he he is simply being himself and very honest.
cut him some slack?

curlytoday · 28/04/2022 14:20

I feel very rude!
I've just realised when I get home from work I yawn on the phone to dh, maybe I'm just subconsciously emphasising how tired I am busy day? Yes! (automatic yawn)
I think it's a response to finally getting in and sitting down then calling him.
I don't intend to be rude if anything I'm just completely comfortable around dh and maybe don't feel I have to use a telephone voice for him, I'm just myself he's the same no offending going on.

Tothemoonandbackx · 28/04/2022 14:28

But it IS rude!! Doing it once because you're tired, yeah, fair enough, but to repeatedly do it whilst youre trying to have a conversation.....RUDE!!!! Sometimes my OH, after a long day, will yawn but they always follow with a "sorry, I'm knackered/tired/it's been a long day" etc. that's the polite way to go about it. Me being slightly petty, would start yawning when he's next talking to you, shoe fits and all that, lol.

AryaStarkWolf · 28/04/2022 14:35

He just sounds tired tbh

curlytoday · 28/04/2022 15:54

Why are people so obsessed with rudeness?
Unless someone deliberately sets out to offend you, then it's just perspective.
You're responsible for your feelings and if you feel offended then that's down to you not them.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page