Ex brought VR headset for our DS6

[Cheerios12]

Well I know I'm not unreasonable but what the actual hell....... he's brought our 6 year old a VR headset for his birthday. I've gone crazy and told him I will take necessary action and speak to safeguarding.
You are not suppose to have an occulus until 13 but I still think it's harmful. I watched a programme on channel 4 literally a few days ago about children using the metaverse and the awful sights and things people were saying eg. Racism, sexism, having sex with underage kids. Honestly it was awful!

How does he think this is ok?? For a 6 year old?
He is trying to turn him into a gamer. Instead of going to the park they game, instead of playing with lego or child's toys they game.
I need to get others involved don't I, eg. School, safeguarding

I wouldn't say that a headset by itself was a safeguarding issue - there are plenty of games that you can play without interacting with others online. In that aspect, it's no different to a console, which many people are happy for children to have, although they obviously need supervision and boundaries as to which games they can play, and limited or heavily supervised online interaction (private servers with friends, for example).

However, there is little research on how the use of VR can affect development in terms of how children sense and use their bodies in space. There has been some research to suggests that young children use their bodies differently when wearing headsets, and therefore some concern surrounding the long term effects of this. I have an Oculus, and do let my two use it (8 and 11), although I limit their sessions to about ten minutes. Although, to be honest, I rarely have to enforce this, as they get bored pretty quickly, as they much prefer to be chatting to each other whilst gaming!

So, whilst I think having concerns about a 6 year old being given unlimited access to a VR headset are absolutely valid, I also think that leading with worries about safeguarding and the metaverse might undermine your argument a bit - as I say, it's easy to argue that these are concerns that apply to any online interaction.

I agree there has been limited research. They are also unsure about the effect it would have on children's developing eyes.

It's good that you limit it to 10 mins only and supervise. However my ex is not like this. I know he would let him on it for unlimited amounts of time. I've already spoken to him about the massive amounts of gaming my DS does at his.
So I would be highly concerned that my DS would find his way on the metaverse and be exposed to all this chat from unknown adults

We are big tech fans. The children in the family have kindles from aged 2 and iPads at 4. But VR sets have shown to cause issues with the eyes in children. We are just starting to see the negative effects as it takes a few years of a good number of children for research purposes. It was suggested last year that a set was bought for a seven year old. As much as we are all gamers it was a resounding no.
Keep your objections specific. Read about the health concerns. You can't undo damage to the eyes and sight is quite important if he wants your child to game.

I've tried the VR set and it wasexceptionally discombobulating and trippy for me as an adult, whatever about gaming, a VR would be a definite no from me

I'd worry about it effecting the eyesight too.

Nintendo brought out the 2DS so that younger children could play 3DS games without the 3D due to health concerns around how 3D world effect developing eyes.

Cyber expert/cyber crime nerd here.

I think you're focusing on the wrong issue here (you quoted the meta verse and exposure to racism, sexism etc). The oculus won't just instantly allow someone to be exposed to these things. All games have age ratings, and these ratings incorporate the above, along with the level of online accessibility within the games.
Just ensure that your child isn't accessing or playing games that aren't suitable for his age. It's the same for accessing internet or playing any other games consoles.

Health wise a few concerns though definitely. VR is hard on the eyes and affects spacial awareness. Can also make users sick. If anything I'd be limiting usage based on this, not the above point around the "metaverse".

I don't however think it is a thing to highlight with school/safeguarding if I'm honest..only if child is being allowed to access content(ie games, videos with adult ratings) that is clearly not suitable for his age. Many children game, it's the new norm. Have a conversation with your ex around the concerns. No need to bring safeguarding into it.

i think getting school and safeguarding is a bit of an odd initial reaction.

I sense discord between you and ex and you looking for an excuse to lower contact.

I'm all honesty I think your over reacting massively and being pretty hysterical. If you have concerns over his vision eyes and development you may have a point and you need to come to an agreement and do some research for yourself.

With regards to safe guarding, its no different that owning a phone or a tablet. Your child would need to install and log into metaverse just like any other account. VR does not equal = Metaverse, I have had VR for many many years and never used metaverse and neither have thousands of other users. VR has some exceptional learning programs and games as well as the usual entertainment.

As with any device as a parent you can take the appropriate safeguarding steps to ensure the child stays safe. That's not really the issue.

I wouldn't allow a 6 year old to play on a VR headset simply because they are heavy things that are pretty immersive and full on and I'm not sure a 6 year old is ready for the detachment from reality they present, and I say this as someone who has a headset.

I find your reaction rather extreme - and sense this is part of a much bigger issue between you and your ex. Especially in light of your comment about him trying to turn your son into a gamer.

I have absolutely no idea about the dangers of VR to eyesight but honestly you need to talk to your ex and explain your concerns sensibly and rationally, if that is even possible now you have threatened him with safeguarding - you may already have blown that out of the water. But if you want him to ever take your opinions seriously then you need to apologise for your over reaction and try again.

Your son is 6 - you have at least 10 years of needing to talk about jointly raising your son together.

The VR headset manufacturer Oculus recommends that no one under 13 uses their headset.

Article here

www.scienceabc.com/innovation/vr-virtual-reality-headsets-unsafe-kids.html

By all means speak to your ex about your concerns ,but what do you think schools will do about it?
You are massively over reacting.

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I have an oculus and the first few times I used it, it had a strange effect on my normal vision- depth of field when I wasn’t using it seemed unnatural, I got sort of dizzy and distances seemed distorted when looking at something far off. This was just at the beginning but it seemed obvious it was doing something to my normal vision after use.

The thing to remember is that they’re designed for an adult sized head, the eyes will be further apart than on a 6yo. So a young child will subconsciously be straining to view the image properly, and may cause long term damage after longer sessions.

I think it’s less of a problem if it’s limited to ten minutes or so, but that doesn’t sound like the case with you, op.

To some this may sound like an extreme reaction. I study psychology and specifically in how gaming and social media effects young children and their health. I have seen the literature and study results on how such things can affect little ones. I'm not saying gaming here and there is bad because moderation of everything is ok.
However this is not the case with my ex, I want my child to be a child and not become an isolated gamer at such a young age.

I've worked in schools and if there were concerns a child was being exposed to harmful content then it would be a safeguarding issue.

My ex is not a reasonable person, i'm not even sure if he has brought the headset and is trying to torment me due to me asking him to watch the programme on channel 4 about it. He is an abusive person hence why I left him when my DS was a baby.