Had my baby on 23/04 via EMCS. Was planning to breastfeed and did so during the 3 days we spent in hospital after. Baby seemed to be latching (although I wasn't latching him 'properly' according to the midwife, I was kind of sticking him on the nipple and hoping for the best) but he was spending a lot of time suckling and producing dirty nappies which they said was encouraging.
As the days went on however he became more and more unsettled and on the last day in hospital/first day back home he was frantically crying before and after feeds and point blank refusing to settle at night. The first night at home was actually quite traumatic for dh and I as nothing we did calmed him down.
The second night I gave in and offered him some of the emergency formula. After 1oz he slept for 3.5 hours giving us the rest we desperately needed.
I'm leaning towards ff now. The routine and practicality suits our family (have other dc at home that I need to be present for) and something was clearly going awry with bf.
But that guilt and fear of judgement is creeping in like I've somehow failed first by not giving birth naturally then by giving up on bf in the first week. I'm aware that my milk will come in any day now and we could continue but I don't want to confuse baby and I honestly can't stand any more unsettledness especially while recovering myself.
Any experience or input appreciated x