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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does this sound dodgy to you….

74 replies

Flyingsatsuma · 27/04/2022 22:42

My partners mum lives very close by - 96 but living alone and independent and we give her a lot of support. She is on her GP’s housebound list and is down to have the covid spring booster at her home.

Last Thursday, she got a call from, supposedly, someone at the surgery saying that someone would be coming to give her an injection the next day and that she would need to be in after 10am. She was a bit worked up about it, but my partner went over to see her just before 10am to explain things and give her some reassurance - she had her first booster at home and it was fine. He assumed the nurses or HCAs would arrive any time and so left her to wait for them coming.

Anyway, nobody arrived. MIL was very annoyed since nobody phoned her to say why and she had spent all day expecting them. But we thought, no big deal, they are busy etc.

Something didn’t feel right about it so I phoned the surgery on the Monday and they couldn’t shed any light other than she was on the housebound list and the team would eventually get round to her, but there was no record of anyone phoning her from the surgery, but they could have phoned from a mobile.

I was questioning her about it today and she was able to tell me a bit more detail - that the woman who phoned was very insistent about her being in the house after 10am and kept asking if she wasn’t going out anywhere. In the end, MIL saw the funny side of this since she hasn’t left the house for well over a year hence being on the housebound list! Apparently, the woman also said that it would not be her “usual nurse” but a different lady who was trained to give injections, and that MIL needed to know that she was allowed to let her in. Actually, there are no “usual” nurses at our local surgery as it’s huge - there are dozens of nurses and HCAs and you see whoever. I cannot make any of this add up.

She has been plagued with bank scam phone calls for the past couple of weeks which she is just about coping with, sometimes several times a day. And someone came to the house a few days before the vaccination phone call. She says they let themselves in from the keysafe and wanted to know what covid jabs she had had, even looking through her stuff for the paperwork. They tested her personal alarm and were looking through her care file. We thought it might be a manager from the care agency or social services but we are still none the wiser.

Am I right to be a bit worried that she is on a scammers hit list??

OP posts:
Mangogogogo · 27/04/2022 22:44

This is actually way more worrying than a simple scam. You need to contact the police

watcherintherye · 27/04/2022 22:46

How many people have the code to the key safe? I would change it and inform only those who need to know.

5zeds · 27/04/2022 22:48

I’d talk to the police too.

Original poster
Flyingsatsuma · 27/04/2022 22:49

Family and carers have the code but she sometimes unlocks the door and leaves it open so someone could have walked in (I know, I keep on at partner and her about this)

OP posts:
Thedogscollar · 27/04/2022 22:50

I'd call the police to report this. They accessed the house and went through private papers. This cannot be right.

Octomore · 27/04/2022 22:52

Definitely change the key safe code, it sounds as though someone has got the code who shouldn't have.

Original poster
Flyingsatsuma · 27/04/2022 22:52

I am glad someone thinks I’m not being paranoid. I was wondering if the reason nobody turned up was because at 10am my partners car would have been on the drive as that’s when he went round! We are trying to figure out what the motivation is?

OP posts:
Cherms · 27/04/2022 22:54

Yes she sounds very vulnerable to scams and you've investigated and it still doesn't make sense so I would refer to the police.

Pixiedust1234 · 27/04/2022 22:55

At first I would have said wrong number for the vaccination. I would say coincidence for the bank scammers however your last paragraph is very concerning. Change the safe code immediately and inform the relevant ppl and let the police know about it since none of the managers (GP, Agency, or SS) know why somebody entered her home so its on record and it doesn't get excused as a dippy old woman.

BTW, it wasn't a district nurse was it? They seem to operate more sideways than under manegerial care iyswim. Although that doesn't excuse her behaviour for not explaining herself properly.

Original poster
Flyingsatsuma · 27/04/2022 22:55

We don’t think it was the care agency as they always contact us about everything. It could have been someone from social services but would they turn up without a call or letter? MIL has no idea who they were. She just thought they were some kind of nurse…

OP posts:
PurassicJark · 27/04/2022 22:56

Definitely sounds dodgy especially when the gp have no record of anyone phoning her. Change the code on the keysafe and phone the police so they are aware.

TerenceTrentLoughborough · 27/04/2022 23:00

Another vote for changing keysafe number and calling police. Some awful people around but also some wonderful ones (you and your DP).

Original poster
Flyingsatsuma · 27/04/2022 23:00

Definitely will be changing key code. We thought MIL might be mistaken about that, and had left door unlocked. We are also going to see if we can divert her calls to our phone just temporarily so we can deal with the scammers in an appropriate way. Will tell my partner to report it tomorrow!

OP posts:
Smartish · 27/04/2022 23:02

Yes it does sound dodgy, your poor MIL, I’m glad she has you both looking out for her. She must keep the door locked and it might be worth contacting her bank in case they managed to get any bank details?

IMustGoToBed · 27/04/2022 23:07

I'd get cctv and or a RingGo door bell and I'd also get a phone that blocks scam calls for starters. Her hearing must be excellent for someone her age!

Original poster
Flyingsatsuma · 27/04/2022 23:10

Yes her hearing is very good! Never thought about it before…

OP posts:
IMustGoToBed · 27/04/2022 23:13

You could also set up some sort of monitoring camera inside her house such as Amazon Echo. She could switch it on where there are visitors.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 27/04/2022 23:14

Definitely sounds suspicious, but I can't for the life is me think what they're up to. Why did they want her to stay in? Diverting her phonecalls to you for a while is a good idea.

EdaYildiz · 27/04/2022 23:15

Have you thought about maybe getting a RING or installing cameras inside the property just so you can see who is coming and going?... Especially if someone is trying to target her because they know she is vulnerable?

HairyBum · 27/04/2022 23:18

Get a ring door bell

Ribb · 27/04/2022 23:21

What all the pps have said about rings and echo alarms, notifying the police, changing the code and blocking scam calls if poss or diverting for a bit.

The bit about someone entering the house raised my hairs. That's extremely worrying. They could have hurt her. It sounds dodgy. No professional is going to rifle through someone's things!

TheLadyofShalott1 · 27/04/2022 23:21

One of my MiL's carers was sacked for stealing from her clients (as far as we know she didn't take anything from my MiL) but they obviously had to change her key safe number once they caught the carer - and by the way, everyone had thought that that carer was particularly friendly and caring, and she had even given my MiL presents, so it really isn't easy to tell someone's character by their appearance.

Please point out to your MiL that if her visitors are someone who is supposed to visit her, they will know the key code (which is simple to use) and can therefore let themselves in with no bother; so she does not need to leave the door open for them, and in doing so is opening herself up to abuse, and making a lot of people who care about her, very worried.

As long as she does not have dementia then being straight with her is fine, even in her 90's. However, if she does have dementia then I am afraid that she probably isn't safe enough to live alone anymore, but I know from bitter experience how difficult that decision is.

TwinklyBranch · 27/04/2022 23:23

It sounds very dodgy, your poor MIL. I don't mean to alarm you but have you checked to see if there is anything missing (money, jewellery, ornaments etc?). Could the person who was in the house have got their hands on anything, or is it possible someone else might have been in there too while they were distracting your MIL? I hope not but it's worth checking just in case.

ThinWomansBrain · 27/04/2022 23:24

when my father had one of those key box things, the agency insisted on using his birthday as the code - always seemed bonkers to me. It was an apartment in a large block managed by an on site warden - my Dad was quite insular, but many of the residents would have birthgay celebrations, which to me just read like "hey everyone, just in case you've forgotten the code to break into my flat" - way more than half the residents seemed to have these access boxes, and used the same council care agency 🙄

SarahDippity · 27/04/2022 23:27

If she ever gets a call again, could one of you be there at the appointed time, but early and parking the car away from the drive, in case she is being watched? Terrible to contemplate. YY to notifying police. Can you check the ‘last numbers’ on the house phone or her mobile?