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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Noise senstive neighbour & poor soundproofing

28 replies

Riesling · 27/04/2022 20:43

Hello mums,

I am at my wits end. We have recently moved onto the top floor of the old flat and I have received a complaint letter from the downstairs neighbour- single man in his 60's

Dear Neighbour,
"As you are aware your floor is my ceiling, and the noise transfers from your flat to mine is becoming a problem for me. I can hear all heavy knocking, running and things being dropped on the floor.
In my lounge, I hear a humming noise that seems to go on for hours. the same in my bedroom. I can only imagine it is a tumble dryer sitting on the floor or some other machine. This is starting to cause me distress and privacy and peace.
Can I remind you that we all need to be mindful of the people beyond and above us. I usually go to bed at 8pm. I am sure you will seek a remedy for this matter and I thank you in advance"

I need to confess that my little one who is 2years old runs around and drops her toys on the floor. In spite of my effort to minimise the noises by putting a rug and thick playmat, it seems the neighbour hears noises and it has caused distress to him.
I feel really bad when I raise my voice to my little one because she runs and jumps although it is natural behaviour at her age.
The thing is that he also complains about the noise from the tumble dryer and other appliances. We get up between 8:30 am and 9 am and go to bed at 9:30 pm. My child goes to a nursery three times a week and we spend a lot of time outdoor. I do house work only while she is at the nursery. I also hear the spinning sound of his washing machine, dogs barking and babies crying from other neighbours. We cannot expect our neighbours to live in absolute silence 24/7 and some noise has to be expected and accepted as part of life.

He goes to bed at 8pm so he is expecting us to live in silence?? I think he is being unreasonable. It is expected that I will not make an excessive amount of noise during unreasonable hours. But outside ofthose I have every right to feel comfortable in our home?
This is the council housing and we were not offered any other options.

OP posts:

Paul72 · 27/04/2022 20:49

Ignore him. It is a council house he can complain to the council housing department who will check it out and then tell him your behaviour is normal and he is unreasonable. It is his problem not yours as you seem to be doing all you can.

Kat1953 · 27/04/2022 20:50

Polite note back.
Apologise, tell him you'll do your best to reduce floor noise but there's only so much you can do. That you have no idea what the humming is and youre out most of the day. Tell him you these well reviewed ear plugs help in the meantime(Enclose gift of earplugs).

Ponoka7 · 27/04/2022 20:52

The Council will direct him to environmental health, who can supply him with recording equipment. I doubt that the noise would pass their criteria. The ideal would be for you to swap flats.

internetpersonme · 27/04/2022 20:52

Keep the letter but ignore him. You can use a tumble dryer and live in your own flat. He can complain to the council if he likes I doubt theyll be telling you to go to bed when he does.

IMustGoToBed · 27/04/2022 20:53

I wouldn't be annoyed with him I'd be annoyed with whoever built if converted the flat. His letter was polite 🤷🏻‍♀️. He is being disturbed by your household so it's not like he is making it up.

I'd do what I could but obviously you shouldn't worry about living in silence.
You can get a noise insulating mat for your tumble dryer for starters
carpet and thick rugs will really help but toddlers are noisy so he will have to put up with some noise.
Rather than getting defensive and het up
what about speaking to him and working out what the main issues are. Perhaps between you you could complain to the owner of the flat.

OutsideLookingOut · 27/04/2022 20:55

IMustGoToBed · 27/04/2022 20:53

This. Why is so much housing stock not fit to actual live a comfortable peaceful life in?

RandomQuest · 27/04/2022 21:00

We cannot expect our neighbours to live in absolute silence 24/7 and some noise has to be expected and accepted as part of life.
I completely agree with you. Live your life. Considerately but normally. Let your 2YO run around and play with toys in her own home. Dry your washing. I’d tell the neighbour that you agree soundproofing is a problem and you can hear his washing machine etc every time it’s used too and if you really want to go above and beyond say you won’t use the dryer after 8pm but that’s as far as I’d go. This isn’t your problem- it’s the crappy soundproofing and him being overly sensitive.

dangermouseisace · 27/04/2022 21:09

I’d respectfully ignore him. All houses I’ve lived in have noise transfer. In our current home, next doors daughters mobile phone vibrating used to wake me up, we used to hear conversations in our old neighbours bathroom, and in a flat we were in we could hear their microwave going around and then the “ping!”. It's life. We cannot live silently.
I live in council accommodation and we've recently had new tenancy agreements with specifically times we can make noise eg use washing machines. I think between 7 am and 9pm was regarded as ok. It might be wise to check your tenancy agreement just to make sure you're sticking to the rules (I'd be surprised if you're not). If your neighbour wants a very quiet home maybe he should look into moving. However, I doubt he'd get what he wants elsewhere, unless he gets a detached bungalow. Even if he went into a block for the over 60’s leads of people have their TV’s up full blast!

Original poster

Riesling · 27/04/2022 21:17

I forgot to say that I had to stop my washing machine and breadmaker as he bang the ceiling. My flt was empty for a long time I can only guess he used to it or he is overly senstive. We have been here only for 3 weeks!!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Riesling · 27/04/2022 21:20

Ponoka7 · 27/04/2022 20:52

The Council will direct him to environmental health, who can supply him with recording equipment. I doubt that the noise would pass their criteria. The ideal would be for you to swap flats.

I have aready spoken to them. They said thry wont do anything about noises caused by children under 5. If he becomes aggresive, call the police. That's what I was told

OP posts:

PurassicJark · 27/04/2022 21:24

Ignore him. He can complain all he want, but you've done all you can. He can get the council round but they won't do anything.

forrestgreen · 27/04/2022 21:25

Maybe put some sound deadening matting under the tumble dryer and washing machine?

I'd reply back politely. Sorry the noise from your flat is upsetting for him however you consider it normal daily living. You have plenty of rugs, don't wear shoes inside. But you need to clean, hoover and run your machines as presumably he does. You yourselves hear x and y from other flats too.

Etc

Maymaymay · 27/04/2022 21:31

Are there wooden floors ? If so this could be your problem and the lease probably says you shouldn't have them.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 27/04/2022 21:40

I’d reply back saying:

dear neighbour
I do understand your letter as we hear quite a bit of noise from your flat coming up through our floors, including your appliances. We have a toddler but they don’t stay little for long so hopefully she we be less clumsy with her toys but she does need to be able to behave like a normal 2 year old in her own home. We will of course be mindful as much is possible in normal living.
wishing you well

he needs to know noise travels both ways. But I’m very passive aggressive in these things. Kill with friendliness.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 27/04/2022 21:41

Since he has written to you, I would reply in the same vein - as others have said, he has been polite so I would be polite back. And I know from experience that a noise that isnt too bad in one flat or house can be really magnified through the walls or ceiling. Tell him you cannot stop your 2 yo dropping things because she is a child but have put thick playmats down to stop as much of the noise as possible. I would also tell him that you are aware washing machines can be heard in other flats as you also hear his, and that you only do housework in the times you have mentioned. I would let him know that you will try as muhc as you can but cannot guarantee he will not hear normal day to day noises but that you would be willing to speak to the landlord with him to see what soundproofing options they can offer. Going to bed at 8pm sounds extreme, but I presume he works and has to get up early?

AzazaelsFury · 27/04/2022 21:46

There isn't much you can do about it your actions are not unreasonable for having a small child it's not like you know you, yourself, are jumping up and down at all hours or having late parties.
That's apartment living unfortunately.
When we used to live in apartments we always chose ground floor as we had small kids and those came with courtyards safely fenced with no balconies for the kids. Without fail in every one we heard noises from above. The first one sounded like they were bowling at 3am every night, the second we could hear the people above bedroom escapades when we were in our bed. You will always have noises of others when in an apartment especially if you have people above.
I'd just ignore him or make plans to move when possible for you. You can't control that normal moving about and living sounds can be head by him and annoy him. I'd agree with what you've been told and call the police if needed.

Blinky21 · 27/04/2022 21:47

I would put appliances on mats to reduce vibrations and go and speak to him politely. I wouldn't ignore it as it will escalate, just appeal to him being reasonable, he's been polite to you

ProudAS · 27/04/2022 21:51

YANBU OP but if your neighbour has hyperacusis or similar don't underestimate the effect on him. I know someone who has to wear ear defenders in his flat due to this condition but I doubt they are comfortable to sleep in.

PakkaMakka · 27/04/2022 22:00

I don't think ignoring him will help, as that's likely to be interpreted as you not caring about the noise. I think a polite note back as others have suggested, but as well as pointing out you're aware of how noise travels in the flats - because you can hear others in yours - that you already do take steps to limit the noise as you've mentioned (but can't eliminate it while, you know, living)

Living with noise from neighbours is much harder to tolerate if you attach it to them being inconsiderate or even intentional. If the neighbour knows you are aware and that its really unavoidable theres a chance they might be a little more sympathetic.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 27/04/2022 22:02

excellent point.

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 27/04/2022 22:03

Riesling · 27/04/2022 21:17

This is very rude of him!
A washing machine and bread maker are everyday appliances and he shouldn't be banging on the ceiling when you use them. In these circumstances i would ignore the banging and carry on with what i was doing......or maybe be petty and do some extra washing and make some bread for family, friends and the postman😁
I would reply to this letter politely saying you have a young child and have took steps to try and reduce the noise but you do have to live in your home as you would normally. Also worth letting him know you can hear noise from him too so it works both ways. I understand neighbour noise can be annoying but you can't stop your 2 year old from being a child and playing or stop washing the clothes.
Good Luck!

JenniferPlantain · 27/04/2022 22:39

He will probably get used to the noise in a couple of months. Be considerate, but live your life. @PakkaMakka ’s post is so true. Let him know you care and will do your best as that will help him adjust. X

gamerchick · 28/04/2022 13:04

Put some mats user the appliances..tell him you have rugs down and mats. That this is normal everyday noise and he either needs to use earplugs/ear defenders or move somewhere remote.

Then ignore. He'll have to get used, it's part and parcel of living in a flat.

TheEnemy123 · 28/04/2022 13:23

He's a crank and needs advising that unfortunately, noise from neighbours is the price of living in a flat. He'll need to make other arrangements if he wants to live in silemnce.

Original poster

Riesling · 28/04/2022 13:57

Thanks everyone. This morning the ground floor neighbour's dog was barking for an hour. I could feel his anger in my flat 😔He was banging his table out of anger...

OP posts:

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