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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Split after 4 years, no baby

14 replies

Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 15:19

So this is a little weird but I have recently split with my partner of 4 years, we were ttc for 2 years and it never happened. Nothing came up on my blood tests and my Hycosy test showed I was ovulating and no blocks etc. However his test showed low morphology of 1%. Would this be why we didnt conceive or could it be something else? We were never given any answers. I'm so desperate to be a mummy and Im running out of time since I have kidney failure. (Transplanted so can conceive)
I almost just wanna try and have sex with someone just to see if I can actually get pregnant, since I've been wondering if it's me all this time. (Don't judge, I don't think I would do that unless they were onboard lol). I have regular periods etc just never ever fallen pregnant. I am just thinking a lot about how if it was me surley I would have fallen pregnant but possiblity miscarried but since I haven't maybe it is actually him and his sperm?

OP posts:
Squillerman · 27/04/2022 15:21

Perhaps use a sperm donor rather than a random one night stand or fling? Seems a more sensible option. Was your ex’s sperm ever tested?

Testina · 27/04/2022 15:28

It must have been tested @Squillerman because OP knows the morphology %.

@Candyflossarmpits did you get no feedback from his GP on the sperm analysis?

Original poster
Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 15:31

Testina · 27/04/2022 15:28

It must have been tested @Squillerman because OP knows the morphology %.

@Candyflossarmpits did you get no feedback from his GP on the sperm analysis?

Nope they just said it wouldn't really be a reason why you couldn't conceive. One of my friends just announced her pregnancy on FB about five mins ago what a shitty day!

OP posts:
Birdy78 · 27/04/2022 15:32

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot recently. A sperm donor is probably a better choice than an unknown prince on a one night stand. Whatever you decide - I wish you all the luck in the world 🍀🍀🍀

Original poster
Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 15:32

Squillerman · 27/04/2022 15:21

Perhaps use a sperm donor rather than a random one night stand or fling? Seems a more sensible option. Was your ex’s sperm ever tested?

I'm not saying I would have a One night stand or anything I'm saying expressing how I just want to find out if I was the issue or not yanno

OP posts:
Testina · 27/04/2022 15:43

Only knowing “1% morphology” isn’t very helpful. There’s more than one measure of sperm quality - such as motility and quantity - and all you have is a comment on “normal” shape. Most sperm aren’t “normal” shape - 4-10% range is common. Also, samples vary hugely. So you can’t draw much conclusion from that 1%. Even though it’s less than average, sperm generally come in their millions! So 1% of millions is still… lots!

I would forget about him, and book in with a fertility clinic to discuss both what further tests they would do for you, and how their sperm donor process works.

Good luck!

Original poster
Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 15:59

Testina · 27/04/2022 15:43

Only knowing “1% morphology” isn’t very helpful. There’s more than one measure of sperm quality - such as motility and quantity - and all you have is a comment on “normal” shape. Most sperm aren’t “normal” shape - 4-10% range is common. Also, samples vary hugely. So you can’t draw much conclusion from that 1%. Even though it’s less than average, sperm generally come in their millions! So 1% of millions is still… lots!

I would forget about him, and book in with a fertility clinic to discuss both what further tests they would do for you, and how their sperm donor process works.

Good luck!

Sorry. All the rest of his results came back completely normal and that was the only unusual thing that cropped up. The morphology.
I am already in contact with an IVF clinic as we supposed to have Ivf and I have funding for Ivf until april next year, don't think NHS funds donor insemination though does it?
I wouldn't be able to afford privately funded AI.
Thank you for your replies too x

OP posts:
whumpthereitis · 27/04/2022 16:03

Squillerman · 27/04/2022 15:21

Perhaps use a sperm donor rather than a random one night stand or fling? Seems a more sensible option. Was your ex’s sperm ever tested?

This. Trying for a baby through a one night stand is as likely to get you an STD as it is to get you pregnant. Possibly even more likely.

Original poster
Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 16:17

whumpthereitis · 27/04/2022 16:03

This. Trying for a baby through a one night stand is as likely to get you an STD as it is to get you pregnant. Possibly even more likely.

Show quote history

Please see my message above.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 27/04/2022 16:47

There are many reasons to get pregnant though to confirm whether the reason why no pregnancy occurred in a four year relationship is perhaps not the best reason unless you have really wanting a baby and being able to look after a baby is bundled in the swaddling or the satisfaction of saying 'I thought it was you' would be exceptional.

FairWindClearSailing · 27/04/2022 17:10

My friend's husband has low morphology but good numbers and count, and they can't get pregnant (tried for 6 years and had 2 rounds of ivf, no issues with her). So yeah, it's definitely a reason for not getting pregnant.

I'd think about soerm donor, op.

Cakecakecheese · 27/04/2022 17:14

My partner's sperm tests came back fine apart from a slightly low morphology, sorry I can't remember the number, I'll see if I can find the paperwork later. I do have a known issue and we were told his sperm wasn't anything to worry about. I'm currently pregnant via IVF.

Original poster
Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 17:35

Zilla1 · 27/04/2022 16:47

There are many reasons to get pregnant though to confirm whether the reason why no pregnancy occurred in a four year relationship is perhaps not the best reason unless you have really wanting a baby and being able to look after a baby is bundled in the swaddling or the satisfaction of saying 'I thought it was you' would be exceptional.

We'd been trying years, I think it's clear I want to be a mum and not just because I want to confirm who's at fault. You've completely missed the point of this post.

OP posts:
Original poster
Candyflossarmpits · 27/04/2022 17:36

FairWindClearSailing · 27/04/2022 17:10

My friend's husband has low morphology but good numbers and count, and they can't get pregnant (tried for 6 years and had 2 rounds of ivf, no issues with her). So yeah, it's definitely a reason for not getting pregnant.

I'd think about soerm donor, op.

Oh okay that's interesting. Mixed reviews, some people say it's a reason and some say not. Confusing! Thank you for your post xx

OP posts:
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