To think it was okay to swear in this instance?

[lookslikeyoutradedup]

DS is on reduced pre school hours as his 1-1 quit.

He was going in today and was asked repeatedly to put his bag on the trolley (he has special needs).

He didn't. He wanted to run off to the sand pit.

After repeatedly asking and not letting him go, a worker there who seems new as I've never seen her, was bitten on the chest by him

It would've really hurt. DS scars me and has drawn blood before to others.

She shouted out 'Fuck!'

Another parent was behind me to pick up her DC for an appointment

She said as she was walking down the alley way to me that she was so shocked and thinks she should complain

I said DS can be painful when he hurts. She said it's unprofessional and she should have a replacement word lined up for these scenarios

AIBU to think she was okay to swear there?

She’s probably mortified that she said it and it slipped out in pain and shock. She shouldn’t have said it, but I’m not sure what reporting it would achieve.

I think you are both right.

Reaction was completely understandable.
Working with children you need non-swear swear words.

Hope shes ok (and you, your situation sounds tough)

No, I don’t think that’s appropriate. Very unprofessional.

I feel really bad for her! She must've felt embarrassed as it clearly just slipped out

Was the other parent shocked about the swearing or the biting though?

I work with older children who can be aggressive. My staff generally don't swear in such a situation and if they did they would get "professional advice" , but I'd also be very supportive of their distress and wouldn't take kindly to unrelated parent butting in (although hope I'd handle that professionally).

As an inexperienced parent at nursery, I may well have complained about there being a biting child in with my DC

I wouldn’t complain but she didn’t need to do it. Surely working in a nursery you’d be used to not shouting swear words? I swear plenty but I wouldn’t do it in that situation

@WoodenClock She definitely wasn't concerned by the bite actually, surprisingly so even. Her focus was very much on staff member being unprofessional by swearing

I agree with this. Perhaps if it happened repeatedly then it might be worth bringing up, but I think it's an understandable response as a one-off.

Poor lady Not the fault of you or your son OP, but we really don't get paid enough for this shit. It's most unfortunate that it was witnessed by some dogooder of a parent, when she will have been feeling embarrassed enough.
You sound lovely OP, and I'm glad that you are being so empathic

I wouldn't complain and I would tell the other parent no to too.

I can understand it but it shouldn't have happened.

I couldn't be angry at someone for swearing in those circumstances.

I see no issue with her swearing in this instance at all. It's only words and not going to cause any issues.

The world won't grind to a halt if the child heard the 'f' word, although it should be an absolute one-off.

No it’s not appropriate at all, it’s very unprofessional, imagine she worked in a specialist school with this type of behaviour as common as the weather changing, she would be ‘fuck fuck fucking’ left right and centre, which in front of kids with additional needs that repeat everything they hear! Yeah not good.

She should have a replacement word if she feels the need.

Or better still not force him to place a lunch bag on a trolley and repeatedly asking him and not letting him go. What did she expect?

That would be the tantamount to pouring petrol on a fire for my ds.

maybe she didn’t realise due to being new, but did you not explain to her that’s not how to handle the situation?

It wasn't great but I think under the circumstances it's understandable. It was shock that did it. I'm sure she doesn't talk like that around the children normally. She won't last long if she does.

@danni0509 you make a good point about it happening regularly at a special school, and what would staff do there?

It's a hard one, I think. I genuinely think she was completely taken by surprise

I didn't explain to her not to do that as he does need a lot of repetition but the key thing is to recognise when he is about to lose it and that's hard as there often isn't a warning

But the staff member isn't working at a specialist school. She's working at (I'm assuming) a mainstream preschool, where being bitten by a pupil is (presumably) far less common. And it's only happened once; hopefully she'll learn from the incident and be more prepared next time.