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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sad about this situation (trigger- DV)

3 replies

WhatsHoppening · 27/04/2022 06:47

An old uni friend recently posted on Facebook a post saying she has left a violent relationship (she was married and has two small kids) and how happy she is to be free. Hundreds of messages of love and support offering any help etc etc. In the next couple of weeks there were a couple more posts about never letting anyone take her sparkle again etc. I remember thinking how sad and sending a message of support but glad she was ‘free’.

Today she has uploaded two family photos (including husband) with the tags ‘my lovely family’ or similar. All posts about leaving him deleted. Seems they’ve got back together.

We weren’t close at uni and I haven’t spoken to her or seen her in years. Obviously it’s nothing to do with me and her choice etc. but I feel so preoccupied with it all. I feel so sad for her being unsafe and also for her two children. She ended up leaving a good career to be a SAHM and recently worked as a TA (very noble profession but low paid and increases her vulnerability).

I can’t do anything but just wanted to vent. If you’re on here please leave him again he sound awful. You can do it 💕

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 27/04/2022 07:03

When he realises that she posted telling the truth, he's going to be absolutely livid and the situation is going to be even more dangerous.

WhatsHoppening · 27/04/2022 07:09

@HollowTalk I presume he already knows. This was about 6 weeks ago and he was her friend on Facebook so will have seen all the posts. I assume she’s taken them down as they’re back together but that’s a huge worry for me too and will certainly make it harder to leave again I think.

OP posts:
Xpologog · 27/04/2022 09:45

I think a lot of women leave and return several times before they take the final leap of faith to leave for good. Financial security, promises of it’ll be different, manipulation in “ look what it’s doing to the children”. A young relative of mine was taken to hospital her husband beat her up so badly. Her own mother told her ( in the hospital) she should go back to her husband as it was unfair on her young son to leave……..
All you can do is be there for her in the future.

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