my partners sleep schedule

[Tivvi]

he works 9 hours a day and we have a new baby. he says he MUST have 8 hours sleep but i want him to get used to the idea he can have 7 hours sleep or sometimes less and still exist. i currently survive off whatever sleep i can get and i go to work. happily loving our new bubba no matter how little sleep i get.
i think he's being a whiny baby and needs to man up and deal with less sleep now and then.
AIBU MOMENT

Suggest he schedules a meeting with your baby to explain his absolute need for 9 hours. No doubt they will agree how reasonable this is. No need for you to get involved.

then take it in turns to get up like normal adults who both work.

Tell him to grow up!!!

sorry, I feel for you, but I have heard it all now.

is he 16 and doesn’t understand babies? He is a father now, like an actual dad. Tell him to he needs to understand this and accept he has done well with 4 hours broken sleep of fuck off!!!

sorry. Don’t mean to be harsh but W t a f!!

How old is he actually?

Did he not realise having a baby would involve sleep deprivation???

He sounds very unsupportive. My DH was working sometimes 12 hour days PLUS 3 hours of commuting a day when we had a newborn and he still did his share of night wakings

What did he think would happen with a baby? Did he not understand?

Lol! Exactly!

What sort of job does your DH have OP?

My DH used to get up at 4/5am every single day when my DS was a baby, to give me a couple of hours sleep before he went to work. Suggest your partner has a think about his priorities now he has a baby.

That’s ridiculous. I do 12hr days (including commute), so does my husband, and we shared night duties. I did a little more when I was off and he did the same, but it was never down to just one of us to do everything even if the other was on leave. He really needs to grow up! What did he think having a baby was going to entail for goodness sake?

I guess it depends on his job. If he's a brain surgeon, or does something else where lives depend on him being fully alert he may have a point. If he doesn't then he needs to suck it up and accept that in the short term he's going to be a bit tired as most new parents are.

Is this because he refuses to do night wakeups or because he wants to go to bed early to get 8 hrs?

What's his job? There's no way I could function on 7 hours sleep personally but then on the other hand I'm not sure what else he expected

If he functions better on a block of sleep (and you function ok on more interrupted sleep) could he change his sleep schedule so he gets up early with the baby? So if baby wakes at 5 then make sure he is in bed for 9 then he gets his 8 hours and is hopefully letting you get a decent block of sleep too?

Really? What a joke. I work 9-10 hours a day Mon-Fri and wake up at 4am to sleep with our baby for a few hours before work while the missus gets some much needed 'baby-free' sleep time in bed. Most other fathers I know do something similar in sharing the night duties.

Tell him to grow the fuck up and start being a proper Dad. Also no one 'needs' 8 hours of sleep a night, that's just a baseless narrative sleep specialists/sleeping pill manufacturers push to make money.

Well, of course he is being ridiculous. Obviously, as a parent, you have to work round your child's needs for those months when they wake at night.
Of course, if he goes to sleep at 8pm, he can still get 8 hours and be 'on duty' from 4am every day leaving you to get a solid block of sleep at that point.

Depends on his job, driving, emergency services, surgeon etc these need a good sleep schedule to ensure safety and DH comes home safely.

Otherwise he's being a baby. Would he go to bed early and do any wake ups after 5am and you do pre 5am? Share a weekend lay in?

Different people have different sleep needs. It's too much of a sweeping generalisation to say no one needs 8 hours.

Agree to expect 8 hours with a small baby in the house is unrealistic, but some posters are being v hard on the OP's DH. If a new mum posts to say adjusting to a baby is hard and she's struggling, she quite rightly gets support and understanding. Maybe the OP's DH just needs time to adjust too.

@Mollymoo67
Bit that’s not what he’s saying. He hasn’t even tried. He hasn’t adjusted, he’s flat out refusing. If you need that much sleep and it’s non negotiable, then why would you have a baby? It’s not breaking news that babies wake up in the night. There would be sympathy if he’s doing it all the time and struggling to adjust.