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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think that colleague is being b**chy?

47 replies

ValerieCupcake · 26/04/2022 14:42

A guy she was interested in a few years ago but played her around [younger guy, immature] is getting married in June. He's marrying someone 28, he's 34.

She looked the fiancee up on IG and downloaded and posted a picture of her on her hen weekend on her own Facebook with "(guy's name) is getting married soon, Barn wedding, Dominican Republic honeymoon, here's his girlfriend on her hen weekend, but I am sure she will look lovely on the day. Meewoo"

Yes the colleague is more attractive than the bride to be looking at the pictures. She's said the guy was a buffoon and obsessed with computer games, they weren't suited.

OP posts:
Original poster
ValerieCupcake · 26/04/2022 15:42

It's just made think WTF and sad, really. I am afraid of commenting on it. I mean IRL, I would not comment on the post.

OP posts:
yourestandingonmyneck · 26/04/2022 15:48

Anonymous48 · 26/04/2022 14:56

I said YABU but only because you are wasting any time thinking about this.

Why do people do this? If you're going to vote just vote in a way that reflects how everyone else will be voting. Otherwise what's the point? It just looks like someone has voted that it's appropriate for this work colleague to behave this way.

blacksax · 26/04/2022 15:52

Anonymous48 · 26/04/2022 14:56

I said YABU but only because you are wasting any time thinking about this.

Oh the irony...

girlmom21 · 26/04/2022 15:52

ValerieCupcake · 26/04/2022 15:42

It's just made think WTF and sad, really. I am afraid of commenting on it. I mean IRL, I would not comment on the post.

There's no reason for you to comment on it

Georgeskitchen · 26/04/2022 15:57

Very odd, maybe slightly forgivable if he had dumped her for the new woman but that doesn't seem to be the case. He's probably thinking how lucky he is to have dodged that particular bullet!!

Thedogshouses · 26/04/2022 16:00

She sounds very angry and bitter.

As a random add, I have banned animal insults completely in my house. I wouldn't eat a pig, I fight for their welfare, same with dogs, cows, rats etc. Slug is however allowed.

Anonymous48 · 26/04/2022 16:00

@yourestandingonmyneck

No, I disagree. The question was whether the OP was being unreasonable, not whether the colleague was unreasonable.

10HailMarys · 26/04/2022 16:02

I'd be cringing if someone I knew posted something like that.

First of all, it makes it really bloody obvious that she's still obsessed with some bloke from years ago, which just makes her look a bit sad and pathetic. Secondly ... I don't get why your friend thinks it's somehow a win if her ex's new partner is not as pretty as her. 'My ex finds an uglier woman more fun to be with than me' is really not something to be proud of, is it?

InstantSunshine · 26/04/2022 16:02

It was a horrible comment but I guess she was feeling hurt and was lashing out. I don't think that makes her the worst person in the world, it just means she's a flawed human like all the rest of us. She'll probably feel hugely embarrassed at some point and wish she hadn't done it. I hope the other woman didn't see the comment. If I were you I'd just keep out of it.

10HailMarys · 26/04/2022 16:03

Also, I've just seen that she stalked the poor woman's IG for this photo? Christ.

SillySallySassySausage · 26/04/2022 16:07

See it as a warning never to get involved with her, what an awful woman. I'd have nothing to do with her above a civil working relationship … and I would probably struggle to not show blunt coldness towards her, frankly! I can't fucking stand bullies.

10HailMarys · 26/04/2022 16:08

InstantSunshine · 26/04/2022 16:02

It was a horrible comment but I guess she was feeling hurt and was lashing out. I don't think that makes her the worst person in the world, it just means she's a flawed human like all the rest of us. She'll probably feel hugely embarrassed at some point and wish she hadn't done it. I hope the other woman didn't see the comment. If I were you I'd just keep out of it.

she was feeling hurt and was lashing out

I think if she's still feeling the need to 'lash out' over someone who she was merely 'interested in a few years ago', she needs to get a bloody grip.

Her behaviour might be excusable if they'd been together five years and he jilted at the altar a week ago, but not if they had a non-serious relationship a few years ago.

Also, it's not 'lashing out' if you spend ages a) looking up someone's new partner on Instagram and b) saving a photo and sharing it on Facebook. That takes time and effort; it's not something you do without thinking.

InstantSunshine · 26/04/2022 16:09

You're probably right.

LemonDrizzleSlice · 26/04/2022 16:14

She sounds like a peach. He was a fool to let her go!

yourestandingonmyneck · 26/04/2022 16:18

Anonymous48 · 26/04/2022 16:00

@yourestandingonmyneck

No, I disagree. The question was whether the OP was being unreasonable, not whether the colleague was unreasonable.

She was asking if she was being unreasonable in thinking her colleague was being bitchy. You voted, yes, she was being unreasonable to think the colleague was bitchy (and then posted a caveat that you mean you think she's being unreasonable to be thinking about it at all).

Not sure why you're being obtuse, you know it just skews the voting.

5128gap · 26/04/2022 16:20

She clearly sees women as a man's possession, and in her anger towards him is being derogatory about 'his' woman, just as she might laugh if he had a rubbish car. It betrays a really unhealthy internalised misogyny. And yes, she has made an absolute fool of herself.

Dundonian · 26/04/2022 16:25

Sounds like she's still angry at the way he treated her, but still carries a torch for him. But to show that by being incredibly mean and immature over his fiancee is crazy.

Original poster
ValerieCupcake · 26/04/2022 16:35

Dundonian · 26/04/2022 16:25

Sounds like she's still angry at the way he treated her, but still carries a torch for him. But to show that by being incredibly mean and immature over his fiancee is crazy.

Like I said she's never talked about him apart from when she was telling us about him being in the papers over lockdown. I remember how upset she was when it didn't progress because he was flakey. But in the last mention of him which was on a teams coffee chat she just said she was glad it was over. People never cease to amaze you do they?

OP posts:
zingally · 26/04/2022 16:46

What a horribly unkind thing to do! What's this poor fiancee ever done to her?! It sounds like the guy had a lucky escape tbh!

Anonymous48 · 26/04/2022 16:51

@yourestandingonmyneck

I DO think she was being unreasonable to think the colleague was being bitchy! Like I said, I think she was being unreasonable to think about it at all.

BerylFeatures · 26/04/2022 17:17

Sounds like the guy had a lucky escape- she sounds nuts.

tortadicarote · 26/04/2022 17:24

The guy she was seeing was "immature"? Very likely, but she's evidently not mature, herself, whatever her age. Embarrassing for her.

And isn't "meow" something people usually say to call out "catty" remarks by other people? She's not very intelligent if she's calling herself out with "meows". 😅

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