Manager is asking me to give presentations to clients, I just can't do it

[ijustcantdoittt]

I am in a role where I produce work for clients. It's my first job in this field and I thought it would suit me as I'm quiet. I produce work that is good and that clients are happy with, so I was enjoying my job. However, a part of the role that I wasn't expecting was I have to present my work to clients and lead meetings. I've been in the job 8 months, but I haven't had to do this yet as our client was on maternity leave so I never got introduced to the people covering for her, if that makes sense. She's back now and I have to start presenting my work in our team meetings.

I cannot begin to explain how much this terrifies me. I somehow managed to get through university presentations but this is quite literally my worst fear. I have a three month notice period, have taken sick days that bring me just below the threshold of it flagging to HR. I feel so trapped and I don't know what to do.

You have had some amazing advice so far.

My first work presentation I was a mess. I was physically sick the morning of. It was thrown in the deep end with a presentation, in person, with 30 people. It took me a long time to feel more confident with presenting and now have to do multiple per month in my current role.

It's so natural to be scared by presenting, as humans we are innately worried about judgement or 'failing' in front of others.

My 2 biggest times that help me are:

1. You know your content more than they do. The whole purpose of you presenting is to inform an audience. If they knew everything they wouldn't be there. Even if what you were saying was thought up on the spot, if you say it confidently enough (even if that is fake confidence) they will believe you.

2. My biggest worry is questions I may get and not knowing the answer. If you are asked anything that you don't have the answer to be honest. Say you will follow up after the meeting with clarification as you don't have an answer to hand and want to ensure you provide an accurate response.

Also, as a manager I would find it more professional if my direct reports came to me with their concern and nerves than if they tried to power through. It's what I am there for and without knowing in advance I can't support them.

Good luck

Could you ask for training to support you with this? If so I'd really recommend looking into the following course:

koretransformation.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/54

The coach who runs it specialises in supporting women to build their confidence. She also runs free bootcamps on facebook twice a year. I participated in one and found it really useful.

Analyse the fear. What is your fear actually of? It is often a very specific single thing - like being stared at or making a mistake.

Run through the whole list of things you have to do for a presentation:
Are you scared of research? - no
Of creating a powerpoint? - no
Of adding detailed notes to it? - no
Of colleagues seeing your work so they can implement it? - no
Of attending meetings? - no
Of building a positive relationship with clients? - no

Etc. Your presentation is essentially just all of the above. I am not scared of presentations because I genuinely forget anyone can actually see me. I get so involved with the material I want to share that being the mere instrument the info passes through just doesn't matter.

You can get tips on breathing, voice projection, physical relaxation etc. to help.

I used to hate presentations so when I first started I literally wrote out a script. As I got better and more confident I didn't need the script anymore and now I present all the time. You just need good preparation. It helps to try and identify which bit of it scares you. Talk to your manager about how you can work on it as a professional skill. I do think you should at least try before giving up.

Good luck OP :)

Are you able to give handouts or a report, then that might let you feel that the focus is a bit less on you as people will naturally start looking at it.

While flat-out refusing to give the presentation mightn't be the best idea is it possible for someone else in the team to lead the meeting and invite you to contribute bits as they go through? You could explain that you'll be in a better position to lead yourself after you've done the course (which is after your meeting). Worth asking maybe?

I generally do at least 5 or 6 'dress rehearsals' for any talk I'm giving, whether 5 mins or 50 as I like things to flow and for everything to feel familiar. One helpful thing is to focus not just on what you're saying while a particular slide is visible (if you're doing it with slides) but to know what you're going to say to bridge between one slide and the next, e.g. at its most basic this might be "Now that we've looked at X I'm now going to talk a little {CLICK} about Y."

If at all possible try and do a runthrough in the room you'll be giving the presentation in, partly to make your surroundings seem a little more familiar but also to practise with the hardware. Will you need to bring any slides on a laptop or USB memory stick pen drive thingy? Are particular connectors needed? Probably all that would be set up in advance but that can help relax you a bit.

Also be aware if you're creating a presentation on a different type of computer from the one you'll be presenting from (e.g. Mac vs Windows).

I've assumed you're doing your presentation in person (where you can easily use the presenter notes option as what you see on your computer is different from what your audience sees on the screen). If you're doing your presentation via Zoom then everyone sees what you see so you'd need to use the Share Portion of Screen to display only the slides - I've blogged some instructions here which might help - howtodotechystuff.wordpress.com/2022/02/19/zoom-presentations-share-portion-of-screen-use-presenter-view-you-see-speaker-notes-audience-doesnt/

Jo

Of course you can do it!
stop with the self depreciation and be proud of your work.
you know it's good,you absolutely can do presentation.
imagine your 80 year old self looking back at this situation,would you kick yourself for not showing off your talent?yes.
you'll feel so much more confident after and wonder what you were worried about.
🌈

Update: Today was the first meeting where I was expected to present my work to the client. I worked late last night preparing for it, making sure I understood the work really well. I was anxious all morning, kept crying (I was working from home luckily) and 30 minutes before the meeting I had a panic attack and ended up being sick, and then had to tell my manager I wasn't well

Oh dear OP! Did you feel relief at the reprieve or a bit of disappointment? Hope you can get on that course and find it useful, and get to have another go soon-ish.

Did the meeting get cancelled or did someone else share your info?

Jo

Oh sorry to hear that OP.
OK so now you're going to associate presenting with having panic attacks and vomiting (I've been there) so I encourage you to book onto the course that I shared up-thread for people with have a phobia of public speaking.
Every participant managed to speak infront of the room, no matter how petrified they were. You need some positive experiences of speaking infront of a room to store in your 'memory bank' to begin to undo your anxiety and the course will give you those.

OP I'm going to go against the grain here and say just look for another job. Like you I am enormously introverted and no matter how many drugs I take or how much advice would be given to me I would never, ever be able to speak publicly. I'd rather jump out of a plane. Even if I managed to crash and burn my way through it eventually, it would always be excruciating for me and for anyone watching me. There's a difference between not liking part of your job to having an absolutely crippling phobia that is affecting your health. No job is worth this x

That's a shame OP but at least you tried! Sometimes you just can't help your reactions.

I think you need to speak openly to someone at work? Then can either agree a workaround or you can start looking for another job. Perhaps you could volunteer to do some courses or something. I think it would be a bad idea to not deal with it, it's unfair on your colleagues and it's unfair on you!
If I worked with you and you said you were happy to prepare all the notes I'd be happy to present them. I wouldn't be surprised if other people you work with feel the same.
You aren't in a great position as you have only been working for the company for 8 months. If they didn't mention presentations in the job discription and if you wouldn't normally expect to do them in the job role maybe your employers will be more sympathetic.
Good luck.

Sorry if it's been mentioned but if you think you may have generalised anxiety how about seeing your doctor. The fact that you've already taken days off would concern me as an employer. You need them to know you aren't just being 'flaky'

I went to my GP about anxiety a few months ago and was given CBT, which wasn't helpful at all. I've now gone back to my GP and I'm currently waiting for an appointment

Clearly this goes beyond simply not liking the idea of it so you need to talk to your manager.

It might be worth looking at Esther Stanhope's website - she does a lot of work on presentation skills and more generally confidence for women in business.

Presumably you had to go an interview to get the job? Was it online or face to face? How did you get through that? Could you just have a one to one with the client and present your work to her? It could be recorded for others to listen to?

Agree with PP, no job is worth this stress.

It's OK to accept that there are some things you can't do at work. It's not worth the agony imo.

I now avoid jobs that would require this.

I do though have lots of other strengths and you will too.

I found myself chairing a meeting today at work with some very senior colleagues (it was my specialist area though) and managed that perfectly fine. It's something about a formal presentation that I am physically unable to do.