I’ll try to cut a long story short but I’ve posted before under another username. MIL is a narcissist and DH fell out with his family over a year ago. MIL definitely blames me. The fall out was that DH believes he’s been treated differently his whole life (I do agree) and was sick of feeling that way.
so last year we had our legal wedding. We were meant to get married abroad but Covid cancelled it. Our money was tied up in the venue so we decided we would do this event as a marriage celebration and party for anyone who wanted to come. MIL actually encouraged us to go with this venue and cancel our English one. We knew we wanted to get married so went to a register office and had a party after, we paid for everything and it was local to most our family and friends so required minimal effort/expense.
MIL upset DH on the wedding day and they left with them having argued (about unfair treatment again). We haven’t really spoken since but his sister has stopped inviting us places but we are on talking terms with his DB (he’s not done anything wrong but the sister has).
we wanted our abroad celebration to be easy going. No one has to come, most people want to and it’s fairly expense free as we’ve paid for accommodation and the event for the weekend. It’s a well connected city. I said a while ago, DH agreeing, that we didn’t want MIL or his sister and husband to come, we have invited BIL and his soon to be wife (his mum always tried to stop him proposing as she believes he can do better - simply because his fiancé is “fat”). We want this to be just a fun celebration with our closest friends and for it to be no pressure. I suppose it will be a doover for the negative feelings that tarred the first.
Recently we became aware of some messages his mum had sent to people before our legal wedding. How much she dreaded it, wished he’d say no and call it off and calling me nasty things. They didn’t show up to DH’s pre-wedding drinks so it was just the men in my family with him. His family went for lunch (didn’t invite him) and tagged it on social media as “family time” with no reference to the day. Now we have seen the messages, I suppose it all makes more sense!
Anyway, I’m now livid and whilst there may have been a chance of reconciliation before we knew of the messages, now there is none. I have made it clear that his mother will never be part of my life. DH agrees. However, his family talk so what do we do about not inviting his parents or his sister, but still invited BIL?
do we tell them? Had Covid not delayed it, they were invited.