ASD DS being banned from nursery

[Verity226]

DS 4yrs with ASD, he's in receipt of an EHCP and due to start a special needs school in September which caters solely to autistic children. In the mean time he's at a special needs nursery, note 'special needs' as it's a nursery which advertises itself as being for disabled children who need extra support. Most of the children there have autism, and some have learning disabilities. We've had a few issues with them with things such as toilet training but didn't want to cause DS too much disruption as too many changes isn't good for him and hes leaving in July, they're OK for the most part.

Anyway DS has had a bad day today, not unusual for a small child with autism. He has meltdowns and does can sometimes throw things. The nursery know him well, he's been there 2 years. He's never been sent home due to meltdowns before, they just remove bim from the situstion and handle it. He's far from being the only child there with challenging behaviour.

Today OH has been told at pick up that if DS is having another bad day tomorrow then he can't go in "because there is small children there now" - the small children being new starters.

The nursery caters to children between the ages of 2 - 5 years.

AIBU to think that's not an acceptable reason to stop him going in? You can't exclude the older children for exhibiting the very behaviour you claim to be there to support.

She's going to call me at some point this evening to tell me the same as she told OH and I would appreciate some unbiased input as I don't want to go in all guns blazing if I'm being unreasonable.

Did she say whether his behaviour had escalated?

I know they say they are suitable for autistic kids but I really don't see how they are. There's two teenagers, and one or two additional* more qualified members of staff for 15 *autistic young children?! No sensory room. It sounds like it must be absolute chaos in there tbh .

Did you get to say any of the bullet points though because I'd still bit be happy with what was said to your OH

You need to be careful about keeping him off informally when they ask as it won’t help you in the longer run. I haven’t come across it in nursery before but it’s common in schools where children will be sent home informally rather than fighting for the extra support they need. Even a formal exclusion is better as you then have that as evidence although not sure if that’s possible in nursery. I would advise keeping a diary and confirming back anything you’ve been told in writing by email. It’s amazing how many times you find you’ve “misunderstood” something you’ve been told verbally once you put it in writing as it’s harder for the school to deny later on if it was said if it’s written down. Say In the email that you will assume they are in agreement thst this is an accurate record of your conversation unless you hear from them without delay. I think the talk of a solicitor is abit premature unless you have plenty of spare cash, you can easily burn through a small fortune.

whst is in place for him starting school ?

Agree the staffing ratios don’t sound right for sen. My son is in an autism school and the Max class size is 9 and they have a teacher and two tas

Is she his person so to speak. It could be that if she’s not there then nobody else can calm him and so the other member of staff panicked a bit and foot in mouth when really right now he just needs to be an hour later so she’s there?

although how this will play out long term if she has holidays etc is hard to see. Also a church hall as a sen nursery without a sensory room doesn’t sound the best anyway.

my ds went to a inclusive preschool and they had children there with zero needs though to wheelchair and adhd / autism etc and they had a big sensory room as well as water play and sunken bounce pad that all children could access as well as many other things.

Please look at the equalities act

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/about-discrimination/equality-act-2010-discrimination-and-your-rights/

in addition to speaking with diass (but your equivalent) eg Derbyshire information advice and support for send

www.derbyshireiass.co.uk/home.aspx

whilst I know all children. Need protecting, so does your child. He needs a safe space to tantrum or let himself throw things when he needs this. What do they have in place for him when he needs to do this?

exclusion is not the answer unless it is clearly laid out in their policies and procedures- ask to see these.

you need support and care, and to work together, not exclusion.

hoping the best for you 💐

The annual review process is managed by the setting not the LA.

It is an EYFS framework requirement for parents to be told who their child's key worker is. They must have a key worker.

Bingo. It's frustrating that places say they are ok with SEN children but actually it's only one person and in the real world life/holidays/sickness happens and then your up sit creek without a paddle.

They should be letting the op know what will happen if the manager isn't there, what the back up plan is in place.

I personally wouldn't send my child SEN child there, simply because she needs consistently of care that outweighs one person. That's just my view on it and obviously op will know her situation better.

Sounds like a staffing issue. She is asking you to take him in late when she is arriving because they wouldn't have the right ratios until she gets there.