My partner and I, 16 years together. We moved abroad a couple of years ago. I work online from home, he works on the house. Recently we had the heartbreaking conversation of him not finding me attractive because I’ve put on weight. I worked through that mentally because I know it’s true.
Tonights conversation is that I forced him into getting one then two dogs that ruin his life because he has to walk them and take care of them because I am working. And then on to I ruined his life by making him move abroad.
he didn’t word it as I ruined his life but he ‘gave in to me’ and now he’s unhappy.
i was under the impression alllll those decisions were mutual ones. He is the sort of person that if he didn’t want them to happen they wouldn’t have. But now they have and he’s not happy it’s my fault.
AIBU to think that if he is disgusted by how I look, he is unhappy with our current life, then it is cruel of me to force him to stay? Perhaps the best thing is to say it’s over and he can go and live the life that he wants.
for a bit of context moving abroad was my escape from a toxic and emotionally damaging past and I am the happiest I have ever been and I am happy with him. But I would still have never done it if he’d said he didn’t want to. But he did! (Although he is denying it and says he just gave up and gave in to my demands)
I don’t know what to do. I do not want ti make him miserable for the sake of my happiness.