Children having different numbers of godparents?

[Mummyof287]

Dd1 was christened with 6 godparents (3 male 3 female) but since then one couple separated and the man showed his true colours as a total idiot, so effectively she has 5 now.The two godfathers are also her uncles though,so she doesn't really see them as godparents and we don't tend to refer to them as that either.

One of the godmothers is my oldest closest friend, and I've asked her again already for DD2 as she has done a fantastic job with being a godmother to DD1.The others are also my close friends, but one has been less involved and consistent in recent years, and we aren't as close as we were, so (despite the fact she is hinting) we won't ask her this time, and due to that wouldn't want to ask the other one either as although she is a great godmother and we are still close friends, I would feel mean nominating 2 out of 3 second time around, and not the other one.

DH doesn't want his 2 brothers this time, and is planning to ask his oldest friend (who we wish in hindsight we had asked first time too instead of my friend's idiotic ex) DH doesn't have any other friends or family males he is close enough to to ask, so it would just be the one male this time.I have a couple of other close friends i could ask, but unsure whether to keep it simple and just have the one male and one female this time, or one male and a couple of females at the most.

I guess with the uncles not really being referred to as godfathers, they would each have 3 people to solely call godparents if we did one godfather and 2 godmothers for DD2.

But will she feel that is really unfair when looking back at the photos and seeing that DD had 6?! Or am I overthinking this?

DS1 had 3 Godparents. 1 died so has 2 left. We haven't seen one of them for about 10 years and rarely see the other.

DS2 had 2 Godparents. 1 died and we lost contact with the other.

DS2 has never cared that DS1 had more than him.

You’re completely over thinking the whole thing, people rarely refer to god parents at all after the event in my experience, it’s not really a thing anyone would ever worry about.

What religion is this? 6 seems a crazy amount.
Never met my godfather. Met my godmother twice during my childhood so I am perhaps not the right person to comment.
FWIW I think you're overthinking it.

Its quality, not quantity, you should be looking at. Are they of the right character to be there and guide the child? Are they likely to be around for many years? Its better to have the one that the child can have a good relationship with rather than lots who don't care/interact.

I have three brothers, they had between 4 and 5 godparents each. During their childhood they only ended up with one each who was around (divorce, moving away, even emigrating, or slowly ending friendships with parents). The one godparent they ended up with was their crappy father who was never home.

I, on the other hand, had two lovely godparents. One stayed involved until I left home, the other until she died of old age. I saw her at least once a year for tea and cake. She met and got involved with my children too. I adored that woman.

Although atheist now, I was christened as a baby (family tradition rather than devotion to the faith) and I had four godparents. Three passed away by the time Ibwas 18. And I didn't know any of them, really.

6 is ridiculous. Are you even religious? What is the point of any godparents, let alone 6 of them?

It's usual just to have two or three godparents.

You should choose godparents who'll continue to be involved in your child's life. As someone said, quality over quantity.

I doubt your DD will mind at all.

Are you a practicing Christian out of interest?

I’m a godparent to a nephew - never once spoke to him about religion

the other two have no god parents and weren’t christened

my sister was christened and myself and two others never were. nobody cares. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken about it.

I think you are attaching more importance to this than anyone

Thanks for all the replies.Yes I am a Christian from a religious family (Catholic father CofE mother)
We married in a catholic church and DD1 was baptised in a CofE church and goes to a CofE school.Although we do not currently attend church on a regular basis, baptising them is important to me.
Yes I totally agree that in hindsight 6 was definitely too many! I wanted the 3 godmothers as 2 I was godparents for their children already, and the 3rd is my best friend so was a natural choice.
But should probably just have had DH's close friend as GF and not the uncles making the more reasonable amount of 4. I certainly want to keep it more simple this time, and wouldn't want to be having six again, but was debating more whether DD2 having 3 or 4 might make things more fair and even rather than her just having the 2.

But it seems i might be overthinking the potential resentment and it likely won't be an issue to them as they get older, so thankyou all for clarifying!

The question is, will each child have even one godparent who will love them, take an active interest in them and provide mentorship, fun and opportunities at least until they’re in their early twenties? That’s what matters, not numbers on a list.