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Original poster

To tell my DH he’s going bald?

35 replies

SubParbanMum · 24/04/2022 22:03

DH has a great head of hair, lovely colour and thick. But for the last couple of months I’ve noticed a lot of hair on the bathroom floor after he has a shower and have made jokes about whether he’s going bald.

Today, I was standing on a step above him and noticed the hair at his crown was looking pretty thin and I could see a lot more scalp than I would expect.

I think he would be devastated if he lost his hair but should I tell him or should I let him figure it out?

OP posts:
SleeplessInEngland · 24/04/2022 22:05

If you told him what would you expect him
to do about it?

Regularsizedrudy · 24/04/2022 22:05

Why do you think he wouldn’t already know?

ChippyTea16 · 24/04/2022 22:06

What would telling him achieve other than upsetting him? Not sure why you’d want to do that and I’m sure he’s aware he’s losing his own hair

TheSpottedZebra · 24/04/2022 22:06

It's like pointing out that someone has put on weight, isn't it?
Of course they know.

There's no need.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 24/04/2022 22:06

He already knows

PinkiOcelot · 24/04/2022 22:07

He’s probably already aware surely.

Coughee · 24/04/2022 22:09

You've already taken the piss out of him losing his hair, why do you want to hammer the point home even harder? I'm not even bothered about the fact I'm going grey but I'd still be hurt if my husband went on about it as I'd assume it was a big deal for him. Leave him alone.

OfstedOffred · 24/04/2022 22:10

How old is he?

Twizbe · 24/04/2022 22:13

Has he said anything about it himself?

My husband had alopecia and I remember him losing his hair. It was such a hard time for him. He went to doctors and hoped it wasn't alopecia but deep down he knew it was.

I remember helping him to shave off the last of it when it had just got too messy to hide what was happening.

I think he was the first one to bring it up and I always reassured him that it didnt change anything for me (which it hasn't)

FairyCakeWings · 24/04/2022 22:15

He’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

Rewis · 24/04/2022 22:17

What's the benefit of pointing it out to him? Hairloss is a big deal to a lot of men. He knows it. Just let him come to terms with it. I don't need my partner pointing out of I've gained a few pounds or have a stray hair above my lip.

idontknowdoi · 24/04/2022 22:18

I'm sure he already knows. I was well aware when my hair was thinning, but no one else would have known. If you've noticed, he's noticed.

TruthHertz · 24/04/2022 22:18

Let him enjoy his twilight hour. 😂 If he's not aware he will be soon enough.

How would you react if he felt obliged to tell you that your arse was getting a bit wider?

McNick · 24/04/2022 22:18

Why are you making jokes?
You say he has lovely hair, he's probably very proud of it but also very aware of losing it.
Why do you want to make a thing of it?
Hair loss is very sensitive to men. Just keep quiet & let him deal with it how he seems fit.
Just stop being an immature goof

Ihatethenewlook · 24/04/2022 22:19

Why do you think he ‘needs telling’? Is there something you’d expect him to do about it? Would you appreciate your oh taking the piss and pointing out that you’re getting fat/wrinkly/grey hair as you get older?

Ducksinthebath · 24/04/2022 22:25

If you tell him will he take action? If so, it’s better to know now as treatments are more likely to prevent further loss than generate re growth.

If he would do nothing, don’t raise it with him.

overnightangel · 24/04/2022 22:28

“for the last couple of months I’ve noticed a lot of hair on the bathroom floor after he has a shower and have made jokes about whether he’s going bald”

Congratulations , you sound lovely 👏🏻 🙄

CareBearsCare · 24/04/2022 22:45

Why would you tell him?
Would you like it if he told you that your boobs were starting to sag, a dramatic increase in grey hair or new wrinkles?

DramaAlpaca · 24/04/2022 22:47

FFS of course you don't tell him! And stop making jokes about it too.

5foot5 · 24/04/2022 22:54

Reminds me of my early days with DH. He was under no illusions about hair because he need only to look at his Dad and Grandad and was already starting to recede at the front when I met him.

However we went to a works do where lots of photos were taken and he commented about one "Oh that's an awful photo it makes me look like I have a bald spot at the back." I started to chuckle because I thought he was joking but then I realised he didn't know. How would he? He couldn't see the back of his head.

He was shocked at first, but came to terms with it eventually

UsernameAlwaysTaken · 24/04/2022 23:18

I wouldn't tell him & I'd stop making "jokes" about it. What do you think you'd gain from telling him aside from an insecure man? How would you feel if someone pointed out an insecurity of yours or continued to joke about it?

MurmuratingStarling · 24/04/2022 23:22

You have made JOKES about him going bald?

I hope you are actually kidding? Hmm If not, then your behaviour is vile.

Original poster
SubParbanMum · 25/04/2022 00:48

Obviously, no more jokes now I think it may be true! And with hindsight, I would never had said a thing. It’s been a couple of throw away comments about it purely because it seemed totally ridiculous he may be losing his hair. It’s become more apparent because we’ve just changed our cleaning pattern. He said he does a sort of vigorous towel rub and that’s why.

He absolutely does not know. He’d ask me.

He normally wants to know if there’s something I’ve noticed. His weight can fluctuate and he gets annoyed (not sure if that’s the right word for his reactions) if I haven’t mentioned it, or a spot etc. so feel like I’ll be keeping a big secret from him. He comes from a very open and honest family. Slightly concerned they might say something!

reactions noted though, I won’t tell him and wait for him to realise. He does know I actually love a shaved head / bald head.

OP posts:
Ratrick · 25/04/2022 02:14

I’d mention it. If it’s just on his crown he may not know, and there are medications that work for some men but mostly they prevent further loss rather than regrow. If he’d be inclined to use those, it’s sooner-the-better.

sykadelic · 27/04/2022 01:20

@SubParbanMum

I don't agree with most of the responses. My husband is thinning at the crown as well. We also have an open and honest relationship, and it's like telling someone they have something in their teeth or whatever. You give them the option to do something about it (my husband buzzcuts from time-to-time), or do nothing.

It makes no difference to me whether he does something or doesn't. If he wants to starts meds to try and help, okay. If he doesn't, also okay.

Give your dynamic, I would tell him, but I'd word it "hey, I know you like to know these things, but I noticed you actually are looking a little thinner up top. Want me to take a pic for you so you can see?"

You don't say "I love you either way" because by saying that you're making it a big deal. It's not. It is what it is. If he asks "do you think I should do something?" I would tell him it's completely up to him. If he wants to see a doc, or shave his head or do nothing, you'll support him either way because it's just hair".