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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

College with a newborn and 2 year old

12 replies

mommal20 · 24/04/2022 19:54

Is it unreasonable of me to think I could start a 1 year access to Higher Education course in September when I’m due my second baby in August?

Going on how my first born was, I think I would have managed. But I’m not sure if I’m underestimating how it would be with 2 children.

It’s likely to be 2/3 days a week at college. Partner works odd shifts so childcare would be split between him and our parents.

Ive been out of education for a while, left at 17 and I’m now 24. I think I’m reasonably smart and don’t doubt my abilities to pass and get the required results to go to uni.

Has anybody done it? Any tips on how to cope?

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 24/04/2022 20:02

Sorry, but 2 that young is so difficult! I've got a 3.5yr old and a 17 week old. Its hard work parenting then with my DH, never mind trying to study around that!

Cebb · 24/04/2022 20:13

I started my degree when my dc were 10 months and 2. Slightly different to your situation as the sleep deprivation is obviously much worse with a newborn.

It was incredibly difficult but I managed by making (a lot of) sacrifices and often working hours into the night when everyone else was asleep. I won't lie, it was one of the most difficult periods of my life but I could go back I would still do it all over again.

My best advice is to keep rigidly organised. Plan ahead for any assignments and crack on with them as soon as you are able. This was not what I did, resulting in me often submitting assignments with minutes to spare and then collapsing into relieved, sleep deprived tears.

I came out of it with a first and am still very proud of what I achieved. It is doable! But on the other hand, you could defer and do it in a year and that would also be completely understandable in your circumstances. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

Original poster
mommal20 · 24/04/2022 20:16

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee yes I agree it will be really hard. But I’m just thinking if it’s not this year it would 100% have to be next and then that would me college with a 1 & 3 year old, which I think could be even harder… maybe it would be better with one child being unable to walk yet whilst I’m doing my home work rather than 2 of them running about XD

Uni I’m not concerned about as the maintenance loans and bursary will cover all the childcare costs and I can then have family do a bit of baby sitting while I do the home studying

OP posts:
LazyYogi · 24/04/2022 20:19

Is there an intake for the course in February? Some courses start twice a year. Just thinking it might be slightly easier post-newborn stage when you're recovered from birth too.

LethargeMarg · 24/04/2022 20:21

I have recently started a foundation degree which I think is a similar level to an access course snd it is very tiring studying at this level. I had forgotten how it feels to use the academic side of my brain . I think when you're coping with two very young children it's worth bearing in mind that you're going to be mentally exhausted as well as all the challenges with two young kids. Eg you can in some jobs probably go on autopilot when you've been up all night with a baby but you can't write an academic essay if you're struggling with concentration and tiredness. It'll be doable but very hard . What is the course you want to go onto after access?

Original poster
mommal20 · 24/04/2022 20:21

@Cebb thanks so much and huge well done to you, that is a massive achievement!

see my first DS was a great sleeper and still is, I’ve never felt sleep deprived as a parent yet. Which scares me because it’s not a guarantee that next baby will be the same. When I had my first I started my own business and worked a lot (albeit from home) while he was tiny. I’m just worried how the second baby will be but of course I won’t know that till he’s here 😂

OP posts:
LethargeMarg · 24/04/2022 20:22

Is this a health course you're thinking of doing after access as you mention bursary? If so you need to prepare for shifts on placement which will be full time and you'll be studying on top of that .

Original poster
mommal20 · 24/04/2022 20:22

@LazyYogi no only once a year in September, that was the first thing I looked at but not available here 😁
@LethargeMarg I want to go on to do Diagnostic Radiography at uni

OP posts:
Original poster
mommal20 · 24/04/2022 20:24

@LethargeMarg yes health course, I am prepared for that. I’ll be able to pay for childcare and they’ll be a little older. It means if I don’t rely on family for childcare while I’m at uni then they’ll help me when I want some quiet time at home. It’s just while I do this first year at college there will be no financial help so I won’t be able to have any time away from the DC at home to study. I’ll just have to do it during nap times and after everybody is in bed. 😑

OP posts:
MissusMaisel · 24/04/2022 20:51

I started my master's a few weeks before my second was born. Lots of people thought it was a ridiculous or terrible idea,my MIL thought it was hilarious that I could think it could be done......🙄

I did it. It was fine. In fact it was great because I got to have my one time carved out and something to do that wasn't all about babies.

If you want to do it, do it.

Crunchymum · 24/04/2022 21:00

I had a very easy first baby. Second not so much Shock

DC2 made parenting harder including parenting DC1. Just a thought to contend with.

HotDogKetchup · 24/04/2022 21:01

In a few months time it will be totally doable. Lots of parents work, it’s no different in principle.

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