To lie about the course I'm doing?

[thisisi]

I'm going into my second year of a masters in social work. My friends and family obviously know and have been nothing but supportive.

However, I was with a friend for drinks a few weeks ago and went with her to meet her parents in the pub. Her mum asked what I was doing at uni (even though my friend claims her mum already knew this) when I replied social work she said, 'oh and how do you feel about taking peoples children from them?' I kind of laughed in disbelief and my friend exclaimed, 'mum!!!' And the conversation ended there. After which my friend apologised for her mums behaviour.

However, I was at a friends house last night, one I've not seen in around 6 months. She knows what I'm doing at uni but after a few drinks proceeded to grill me on why I would want to be a social worker, do I realise they get a bad rap? Why would I want to do a job like that? Would I feel comfortable seeing an abused child? How would I handle this situation and that situation? The job isn't even paid good to deal with those situations etc.

I remember when I first started uni and I met a social worker and she said to me that she was a social worker but she is picky with who she admits that to due to the comments she receives.

AIBU to then just lie about what course I'm doing to avoid this? I feel bad lying but can't be arsed with that and then what do I do when I'm actually qualified? Lie about my job? Has anyone experienced this?

You have two options, you can lie and save yourself the bother, or you can tell the truth and have some answers ready for people who want to have an opinion. Some of them might engage in a way that leads to interesting discussions, many of them may not, for those people you can just shrug and smile sweetly and quietly cross them off your Christmas card list.

I expect a combination of the two approaches is probably best.

Good luck and thanks for training for a hard and thankless role that is much needed despite the bad press.

There will always be rude people who have opinions (and voice them) about your life, imo. You can either give in to them and spend your life explaining/apologising or hiding who you are, or you can embrace what makes you you and own your own choices. I know which option makes me happier, but everyone is different. The people you've encountered sound very rude, but these people do pop up throughout life unfortunately, but you get to choose how you react to them.

You could think of some answers but also use it as a twat identifier

Lie to strangers if you won't see them again but n don't lie about a huge part of your life to people you care about.

How do you feel about taking kids away?
Well if things got too that, I'm just glad I'm able to help those kids

Why do you want to do sick an awful job for shit money knowing everyone hates you?
Because u understand enough to know that saving a child life is worth some discomfort on my behalf

Etc

I understand your perspectives op, although would it not serve better to handle the criticism by having research and answers prepared ready for future reference ?

Aww that's a lovely thing for you to say and not something I hear often. Thank you!

Yes I think going forward you might be right.

You just need to be able to socially swerve certain conversations to suit yourself.

My mother stopped telling people at parties what she did for a living (mental health nurse) as people took this as permission to talk about their depression/anxiety/ family members suicidal thoughts etc …… all night long, and presumed it was okay to do so despite only having just met her.

i mean if you’re dealing with all that at work you don’t then need to deal with it during your down time.

Educating idiots is a better option.

I work for the police and people always wanna stick their two pence in in what they think about that. I just smile and nod and make a mental note to avoid that person in conversation!

I remember telling a school mum my best friend was a social worker and she replied “oh god the worst kind of person”. Some peoples views are just ridiculous.

🙋🏻‍♀️ Social worker over here (nearly 7 years now),

I am an AMHP full time now, so you can imagine how flat conversations fall when people know that and the comments I get about how their friend/mum/next door neighbour etc needed to be/was sectioned.

like @Mangogogogo I just smile and nod.

In the correct hands social work is a powerful, fulfilling, awesome job. It’s my choice of work and that’s all people need to know tbh 🥰

Depends if you want to get into the conversation - if you can be bothered. Depends who I'm talking to, but sometimes I work in the council - particularly if its people who may treat me differently from knowing that information .

Friends / family / people I see and speak to more than once - I tell them, but we end up having quite open conversations about it!