Are Expectations for birthday cakes getting out of hand?

[Yellowmellow2]

More and more I see threads on social media, of people showing photos of incredible birthday cakes (castles, palaces, Disney characters etc), and asking if anyone can make one for their child? When did this become a thing? Is a normal cake not enough any more? People just put so much pressure on themselves.

I like baking and am quite good at cake decorating
DM was same so my DC always had a home made fancy birthday cake
now they’re grown up we ignore decorated cakes and go all out on cocktails

For example DS is going to have a birthday party this year with 25 children and their parents. We need an enormous cake. I want it done to the theme of the party and in a nice flavour. Colin isn’t going to work. Also I actually don’t like Colin. People on here are so miserable honestly! Who begrudges someone a fancy cake?! 😃🤦🏻‍♀️

It was just an observation really. I’ve seen some seriously large and expensive, professionally made cakes on social media for small Children’s parties and I just wondered if there was more and more pressure to do this. Don’t think I mentioned showing off? Personally I don’t think it’s to do with how wealthy you are. It’s more to do with what’s important to you. Thus - each to their own.

@Yellowmellow2

of course wealth generally comes into it -lots of people people could not afford to spend 200£+ on a cake for a birthday. Several people on this thread have explained it’s nothing to do with social media or pressure, and also that fancy cakes have been around for far longer than SM.

100% agree. OP and many others are dripping in judgement towards those who choose to pay for bakers to make cakes however those who can afford it are supporting a local business and receiving something that is almost always infinitely superior to the supermarket offerings.

Some designs are extravagant and over the top but if they can afford it and choose to spend their money like that, why does it matter? The cost of the cake is a true reflection of expensive ingredients and sheer effort that goes into making it.

If you can't afford it then go for a supermarket cake, definitely no judgement for it but why belittle those that have the money and choose to spend it locally?

Fwiw DC is in a prep school, we have attended 14 birthday parties so far and only 2 cakes were extravagant professional ones, majority homemade and others along the lines of cakebox etc. Hers was also a homemade one

I make my kids cakes and while not Instagram perfect my DDs have always been happy 😃

Wow!
Over 100£ per head?!

Does make me wonder..
That the kids would jave had an amazing time having an amazing day out instead!

It's like anything. A professional photographer at your wedding and a wedding dress that cost ££££ for example. Eating out at a restaurant when you could make it at home. If people want to use a professional cake maker (and support a small, local business) then why not?

It's my child's first birthday soon and I have ordered a cake. The only other time I have is for my wedding. We're having some family over in the back garden, a bit a light lunch that I'll make and we're all looking forward to enjoying a cake. My child has cmpa so I've had to be dairy free for a year while I've breastfed her. I've missed out on cakes and chocolate and cheese and cream and all the other treats I used to love so on this day I'm going to enjoy a professional cake! I can't bake cakes anyway let alone a decent vegan one so I'm treating myself (and the grandparents) and I can't wait! It's not for social media (it's not even for the baby!) it's just a part of a celebration that I decided to spend on, like people would for food/wine/music/whatever.

When she's older and it's other kids eating the cake I wouldn't bother mind you!
Just seems that whatever you do as a mother you'll be judged.

As the PP has said, it's simply a preference. If you'd prefer to make your own or buy from the supermarket fine, if you'd prefer to pay for a professional one, also fine.

I don't get the 'pressure' argument, I'd put myself under far more pressure if I had to make it myself. Paying for it to be done actually takes the pressure off. I've also never known anyone with a 'fancy' cake that couldn't afford it.

Paying for it comes to personal choice and budget as to whether it comes from a supermarket or a professional baker.

This is a non issue.

So true. My late mother made wedding cakes as a paying hobby, she had trained to make the wonderful decorations that used to be popular, she hand made the little filigree vases for the edges, I saw her sitting for hours tracing these out. However some people objected to the price she asked, apparently 3 fruit cakes from M and S were only.......... whatever the 1960s prices were, they never factored in her skill and time.
I recall being very proud of the My Little Pony Dream Castle I made for my daughter's 18th birthday, however her friends were convinced I'd bought it!

I don't get the 'pressure' argument, I'd put myself under far more pressure if I had to make it myself. Paying for it to be done actually takes the pressure off. I've also never known anyone with a 'fancy' cake that couldn't afford it

I guess the pressure comes from thinking you have to invest in an expensive cake because "everyone else is" whereas actually it's fine to buy one off the shelf or make one yourself (also not the cheap option though).

IMO it’s just another aspect of people going OTT with so many things, e.g. the massive piles of presents at Christmas.

FWIW just the other day I made a chocolate sponge cake for a Gdd’s 7th birthday party (choc butter icing and decorated with sundry bought bits.).
Nothing super-special but Gdd was very pleased with it, ditto evidently the masses of kids - it all went PDQ.

I don't feel pressure. I make my kids' cakes & have mastered the art of cheating using packet cakes, pre made icing, food colouring & simple but striking designs (no fancy work) in a couple of hours the night before.

I do it because I enjoy giving them something unique. When I can't be bothered anymore I'll do a Woolies mud cake hack (Google it, you really should).

When DD was young I went all out, I baked and decorated myself. I particularly remember being up half the night baking and decorating a Tweety Bird cake for DD's 5th birthday, and I made an ice cream cake birthday for her 4th, that was an utter nightmare (no idea what possessed me given she's a winter baby).

When she was young I did like to put a big effort in, I quite enjoyed organsing parties and I still remember how it excited she was over her tweety bird cake, it still makes me smile 17 years later.

This is one of the many things I don’t understand about my in-laws. They buy expensive, bespoke cakes for every occasion you can think of.. and then don’t even cut the things.
Plus they are all either diabetic or gluten intolerant!

I enjoyed making the cucumber crocodile with cheese sticks for ds's birthday

I may have made a chocolate cake with smarties

I do not see the issue if it’s affordable to the person spending the money. Always do a blow out kids party, fancy cake. People often turn up, make sure the adults have as good a time as the kids. All good, might be over the top but I enjoy it

My son is 14 and I have always had professional novelty cakes. So, it is not a new thing. Everyone buys what they can and what they want. No need to judge others or finding this 'trend' silly. A nice cake matches the theme of the party. Supermarket cakes are ok but they do not taste great. Also even bakers need to make a living...so I am supporting my local baker :-)

I make my own and do try and go all out as its something I've always wanted to do. Doing a n "amazing" cake a few times a year is a good incentive. It's the one thing I can give my children that is truly from me too. And not amazon...
My strongest memories from my birthdays were the cakes.

But that's an assumption from the OP. Just because it's all over SM doesn't mean that other people doing it are doing so out of pressure? Is there a support group for people forced into paying £££ for cakes who are complaining about it and seeking help?

I just don't see how noticing a trend that clearly OP finds annoying automatically means that everyone is only doing it out of peer pressure

We buy one professional cake a year because our local independent coffee and cake shop closed down and now she makes them freelance. So we cant buy slices and we want to support her. And we dont put he cake on social media. Is that ok? Because we dont show off on facebook? Or do we pass the judgement test for shopping small and supporting local people trying to make a living?

Homemade cake tastes far better but I'm rubbish at decorating- mine got Victoria sponges with jam and cream , sometimes strawberries too

I order a themed cake from my local cake maker because I want it to be special plus you can't argue how good they taste as well. Its once a year so I don't mind paying that for my child and as others have mentioned, I like the idea of supporting local businesses. I use the supermarket cakes for a nursery party though as they are smaller and the kids get just small slices whereas the themed cake is usually for family and friends where adults attend and you get huge slices and still have cake left over for the next day after feeding so many adults and kids and for second plates as well. I can't bake to save my life and when I was a child, my mother used to get those cakes done with my picture on it so it's been like this all the time as far as themed cakes go.

The fancy ones I've noticed often include cheats like printed icing, plastic toppers etc and I often find that the cake inside isnt that nice. They are extortionately expensive.

^This has been my experience too.