Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this a bit rude?

43 replies

Saveittillthemorningafter1 · 24/04/2022 15:24

I've been in one or two agency care homes where the staff will all make a takeaway order and not ask you if you want anything.
Maybe I should say myself but I felt awkward. Anyway it was my first day, they were nice but all ordered takeaway coffees and frappes etc between them and nobody asked me if I wanted anything, then sat there drinking them.

This has happened once last year where they all ordered a chippy but i didn't get asked.

I would automatically ask the new person. It's just the polite thing. Felt Awkward sat there with them all

OP posts:
JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 16:54

@Furrbabymama87

thats not technically the same though is it? I have no issue with making agency staff tea/hot choc on a break, there are no logistics to consider there. What you have just described is rude.

It is also just presumed that agency staff bring in a packed lunch (as the majority of them do to be honest). it’s rare someone turns up to a 15 hour shift without any food.

Kukdoos · 24/04/2022 16:55

@JollyWilloughby
Stop making excuses for bad manners.

There would have been time between making the decision to order a takeaway, and placing the order.

At which point, someone could have said to the OP, 'hey we're putting in a dinner order, you're welcome to join, but you'll need to pay upfront'. That's not presuming the person ordering will be paying cash.

That way, no one is left out, no one is out of pocket. If op didn't have the money, they didn't get the takeaway. It's not hard to include someone, if they really wanted to.

All this 'but, but but'. It was rude.

Steelesauce · 24/04/2022 16:57

Me and a couple of others would do rounds so probably wouldn't ask. We'd have our break together thats why. You can't all be on break together so someone's food would be left going cold.

Shiningstarr · 24/04/2022 16:59

Absolutely rude and I agree with you op, it would have taken a very short time to find out your order and for you to transfer the money.

Personally, I could not sit there eating a takeaway order if there was someone else there with nothing, even if they were agency staff.

I've also been permanent staff and had this happen to me, which is even worse.

JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:02

@Kukdoos

Ahh yes, all the free time care staff have. Have you not read my posts which have explained orders are often discussed the night before shift on the WhatsApp groups? People will look to see who’s on shift as some colleagues don’t have takeaways and others always do.

Unfortunately we haven’t got time to go round (the large home) finding agency staff and asking them if they would like to pay up front for a takeaway, particularly when all of our breaks are staggered but I do love your idealistic version of how things should be. The takeaway isn’t ordered whilst on the break it’s ordered in advance due to how little time we get to eat.

Bad manners? It’s bad manners to accept takeaways and then not pay for them. Guess I had to learn the hard way there, but yeah typical rude care staff. Wouldn’t expect anything less on mumsnet.

MajorCarolDanvers · 24/04/2022 17:04

Very rude and mean

JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:05

@Shiningstarr

That just sounds like a clicky team. Every staff member on shift is asked the night before on the group chat if they will be participating in the takeaway or not. It’s always done the night before to save time and hassle now.

Kukdoos · 24/04/2022 17:11

@JollyWilloughby

It's not idealistic, and I understand why you wouldn't want to pay upfront, but in OP situation, she knew what was being ordered, and was sat there whilst they partook in said order. It strikes me that someone could have said something to her, should they have been inclined.

No-one is asking anyone to go around a home asking orders. At some point, presumably, the newbie will interact with a perm staff, where it could be mentioned in passing, because it seems highly unlikely someone will rock up to the home and start working, without a word being said to them by any perm member of staff.

JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:12

@Steelesauce

Exactly. This is why we organise it on WhatsApp so we can coincide the orders with the breaks.

We wouldn’t even know what breaks agency staff have been allocated and the takeaways are ordered well in advance from the local chippy/Chinese who are more than happy to accommodate us.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 24/04/2022 17:16

Yes it rude and it would be a cold day in hell before I would make an excuse for such poor behaviour.

Words · 24/04/2022 17:16

(Clutches pearls)

You are a care worker and buy expensive, nutritionally poor take away coffee?

(Faints)

JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:16

@Kukdoos

Most staff we only see for one day which is 15 hours. 7.5 hours if they are doing a half day. On any typical day we will have 5 agency staff in, sometimes more in recent times.

So if you’re in work 5 days out of the 7 you’ve seen 25 faces that you probably will not see again.

We have the odd regular agency staff in but they are in our WhatsApp groups.

Original poster
Saveittillthemorningafter1 · 24/04/2022 17:20

It's still not nice for the agency person to be sat there with nothing at the table whilst they all have a takeaway. Would never make anyone feel excluded like that because a couple of people haven't paid in the past, not fair to punish every agency person for it. The orders weren't taken the night before here, they were taken on the spot

OP posts:
Original poster
Saveittillthemorningafter1 · 24/04/2022 17:21

Also not sure that every agency worker is expected to read their minds and assume, ah, well it'll be because a couple of people in the past haven't paid, that's why I'm being ignored.

OP posts:
JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:28

@Saveittillthemorningafter1

Obviously I can only speak for the particular home I have worked in and our food logistics but it’s a little bit entitled to think that they should keep “risking it”. A lot of my colleagues really do live hand to mouth financially. Also, it is not the permanent staffs role to babysit agency staff.

Why are you turning up with no food? You clearly were going to pay OP, but they didn’t know that. If you’re not getting a good feel from that home just work elsewhere you’ll never be short of work. You did however say in your opening post that these women were nice. I presume this means they made you feel welcome on shift, it was just the food being an issue.

i just think people should think a little before openly slamming these women as rude when there may be reasons as to why they don’t offer anymore. Homes aren’t offices, they’re brutal and unforgiving places to work, and you will meet allsorts. It takes a special person to work in care maybe they want a break caring for others in their 30 minute break?

if you return to this home you will know how they order food. (Sounds different to ours) Just ask them and say you have the money upfront.

JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:32

@Saveittillthemorningafter1

Why are you assuming it is up to the permanent staff to read your mind regarding food?

Particularly when we see on average 5 new faces a day, and 99 percent of the time have brought in a packed lunch for themselves. They may have just presumed you had brought a lunch in?

KrisAkabusi · 24/04/2022 17:34

If they were ordering all around you, why didn't you speak up and ask "Can I order one too please?". If you don't ask, you don't get in this world.

JollyWilloughby · 24/04/2022 17:36

@KrisAkabusi

My thoughts. Why not just ask if they were ordering?

The OP has already stated that these workers were nice?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page