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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to move from fast food table

93 replies

curlymom · 23/04/2022 20:36

So I ordered my food and sat down on a free table next to a plug as my phone needed charging. Fast food associate said he will bring my food right over.
five mins later an old lady said she was intending to sit there. I said it’s ok you can sit opposite on spare chair or on empty table next to me. She said no and told me to move. I said no as I am needing to charge my phone. Other random old woman interfered and told her i am selfish and she could sit on table next to me. To be honest if she asked nicely I would have moved but if there are spare tables why should I? AIBU to refuse??

OP posts:
Murdoch1949 · 24/04/2022 01:43

Bloody hate entitled people like this. Yep they can share, or take a chair, but no, I'm not moving. If they had a genuine reason, I need to plug my life support system in, fair enough, but if they just fancy the view from that table bugger off. Speaking as an elderly woman, entitled only within my own family.

TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 24/04/2022 03:22

Stressedout65 · 23/04/2022 20:53

@splishsplashsploshsplish why be so mean? Who are you to say if a post is boring or not?
The op wanted an opinion & so is perfectly entitled to ask. If it's so boring to you just scroll & move on, or entertain us all with your interesting/witty anecdotes?

^^ THIS

Furries · 24/04/2022 03:33

IMO, mentioning the age isn’t a problem. Am thinking that OP was probably trying to convey that if, say, on public transport then they wouldn’t hesitate to move for someone older than them. But that this was a different scenario and therefore they weren’t being mean to an older person.

There is a lot of casual ageism seen on MN, but I don’t think this thread is one of them.

Stressedout65 · 24/04/2022 04:42

No @splishsplashsploshsplish there are ways of conveying an opinion and yours is just sarcastic & mean. You were not saying that you wouldn't get worked up about something like this, you were sarcastically implying the op was boring. Op asked if she was being unreasonable it not moving, not if her actual post was boring or not.

LadyPenelope68 · 24/04/2022 05:03

RockItLikeRocketFuel · 23/04/2022 22:18

Sounds like she wswas looking for an argument

The ones looking for an argument are the ones pulling up the OP for daring to mention that the other protagonist was "old". Anyone with two brain cells to rub together understands that it isn't a derogatory generalisation against the elderly.

This exactly! MN is getting ridiculous at the moment about age/gender etc, etc. someone has posted a simple question and it’s turned yet again into a non issue. Who cares what age she is, it doesn’t matter, that’s not what the op was about so it doesn’t matter a bit that it’s been mentioned.

SenecaFallsRedux · 24/04/2022 05:17

The post implied that the unreasonable behaviour (and it was unreasonable) was because they were old.

I agree. The OP was describing negative behavior. The age of the women was irrelevant to the unreasonableness of the behavior.
The effect of the post was an aegist implication, even if unintentional.

LoveAllCakes · 24/04/2022 06:40

later an old lady said she was intending to sit there

OP I read this as nothing more than a way to convey to everyone an idea of the appearance of the lady. Maybe I’m ageist and I’ve only just realised - as if it had been someone considerably younger or older I think I would have referred to it too for the context of the scenario but if they had been a similar age I don’t think I would have mentioned it. I use older rather than old as I feel that it’s less offensive because it’s generally factually correct. Anyway, you were right to stay at the table and the 2nd woman would have got on my nerves sticking her nose in.

CarryonCovid · 24/04/2022 06:50

RonaldMcDonald · 23/04/2022 21:52

Maybe she didn’t know you had ordered or anything about the app
Perhaps she thought you were a table hogger (nabbing tables prior to purchase incenses my mild mannered mum)
or an elastic trickery thief - with your plugged in phone

This I am sure, I don't know how old the OP's old is, but MIL is 76 and would not be able to comprehend this at all. My DPs (73 &74) would know it was a thing but not a clue how to do it.

malmi · 24/04/2022 07:17

SenecaFallsRedux · 24/04/2022 05:17

The post implied that the unreasonable behaviour (and it was unreasonable) was because they were old.

I agree. The OP was describing negative behavior. The age of the women was irrelevant to the unreasonableness of the behavior.
The effect of the post was an aegist implication, even if unintentional.

Should OP have avoided referring to the sex of the person lest the post be perceived as sexist? Why or why not?

montysma1 · 24/04/2022 07:19

Or maybe it's because they were old ladies?

splishsplashsploshsplish · 24/04/2022 07:39

Stressedout65 · 24/04/2022 04:42

No @splishsplashsploshsplish there are ways of conveying an opinion and yours is just sarcastic & mean. You were not saying that you wouldn't get worked up about something like this, you were sarcastically implying the op was boring. Op asked if she was being unreasonable it not moving, not if her actual post was boring or not.

🥱

Herejustforthisone · 24/04/2022 08:18

Mosschopz · 23/04/2022 20:39

Why do people think it’s ok to charge their phones in a random restaurant or cafe? I’ve always found it kind of rude, but I’m probably in the minority…

S’what the sockets are for, bud. Do you think it’s rude when people charge on trains, too?

Fulmine · 24/04/2022 08:23

nauticant · 23/04/2022 22:18

Had you gone for the neutral "a woman" @curlymom, then many of your posts on this thread would have been you answering other posters asking the age of the woman. Try, if you can, to steer around posters trying to make you into some kind of a bigot.

With every respect, nonsense. How many threads do you see (other than those involving children) with people asking about the age of the protagonists? It's not as if anyone is asking OP what her age is.

SoggyPaper · 24/04/2022 08:35

Fulmine · 24/04/2022 08:23

With every respect, nonsense. How many threads do you see (other than those involving children) with people asking about the age of the protagonists? It's not as if anyone is asking OP what her age is.

Show quote history

You get a lot of ‘are you very young, OP?’ on MN.

chesirecat99 · 24/04/2022 11:30

curlymom · 23/04/2022 21:18

You can order at tills and take food to table or on the app and add a table number 😂

Show quote history

Fast food etiquette used to be that you shouldn't sit down at a table until you have your food. Maybe she didn't know about the app ordering system and she (and the other lady) thought you were the CF reserving a table before you had your food. Not that you did anything wrong but it would explain why she thought you should move and the other lady thought you were selfish.

skybluee · 24/04/2022 11:59

I wonder why she specifically wanted to sit there? You were more than polite in offering the seat opposite to her. So she could have, in fact, sat there. Don't really know what her problem was. You can't reserve tables in fast food restaurants anyway.

skybluee · 24/04/2022 12:00

Also I don't know what possesses people. She 'told you to move'? That's so incredibly rude.

Hawkins001 · 24/04/2022 16:50

skybluee · 24/04/2022 11:59

I wonder why she specifically wanted to sit there? You were more than polite in offering the seat opposite to her. So she could have, in fact, sat there. Don't really know what her problem was. You can't reserve tables in fast food restaurants anyway.

From an espionage or industrial espionage perspectives, could be meeting a field asset and that was their designated point to meet at.

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