How often did you go out with a newborn?

[dontblamemyhormones]

OH keeps on putting me in situations I don't want to be in. Everyday he is trying to make plans with me the kids and his family. I'd rather just stay at home and enjoy this little bubble I am happily in!

We wasn't even supposed to see them again today but OH always says oh "let me know when your home and we can pop round" he always says this!! But they have offered to come here instead which I don't want either.

This is my first time breastfeeding properly as I gave up within days with the other kids. However I don't feel comfortable doing it in public yet.

Am I crazy for wanting to stay at home or did anyone else feel like this? I can walk around in my nursing bra all day and not panic about bleeding on anything. Im so fed up of having plans made for us.

The same day as we had to register him with the GP then go to Tesco.

But it was nice weather and just the 3 of us then, and my labour hadn’t been too bad.

This time I plan to ‘nest’ at home for a week or two after the birth. Partly because I’m having a c-section, partly because I’ll have in-laws for company and help, so it won’t feel too isolated.

I think the way your question is phrased is giving you all these ‘every day’ answers.
I leave the house with my newborn twins every day, I’ve got dogs and also I’d go mad if I just stayed in the four walls. And I’m exclusively breastfeeding them.
The only place I’ve taken them for a visit is the hospital to meet their dying Great-Grandad as his last wish.
They’re 6 weeks old now and we’ve had my mum over a couple of times, my sister once, and my cousin once. They all stay for an hour then go, which is fine.
My husband’s family came to stay for 3 days when they were 4 weeks old and we were just establishing breastfeeding. It was awful, I didn’t want to breastfeed in our tiny lounge with five extra people in it (we’re having building work done and we’ve literally got one room to sit in).
I felt pressured to let people hold them and give them a bottle of expressed milk while I ran round doing things. They did fuck all to help and just sat there.
In the end on day 3 I just took myself and the twins upstairs at 4pm and didn’t come back down.
There’s no way I’d be visiting anyone on a daily basis even now. I have a little routine going where I can walk the dogs, go to the shops, and also spend hours feeding them. I wouldn’t be messing about going to see anyone.
I might take them up to visit my friend in the Lake District when they’re a bit bigger and can stay in their car seat a little longer, but that’s it really.

I went out everyday, I get bored quickly. Dd went on the bus at 3 days old tube at 8 days old, first intercontinental flight was at 7 weeks. Babies are so transportable. I breastfed so no equipment needed, not sure i could have been so active if I had to deal with bottles

I needed to get out almost every day. Walk around the park etc
that said I would NOT have been happy to meet in laws every day. Once a week would have been more than enough for me

If you are breastfeeding a newborn, that can take literally hours and hours of each day. You need to be able to spend time feeding and relaxing for the first few weeks so that you can build up supply, and it can take a lot out of you. If you struggled before and want to give your best shot at it this time, you need to be hunkering down on the sofa with the baby, being brought food and drinks, and dozing between times. It sounds like your baby is very young still, and if you don't feel confident breastfeeding in public, then don't do it. Establish breastfeeding first, then you can start thinking about going out/having visitors.
Tell OH you need to focus on feeding the baby and getting enough rest. If necessary speak to your HV and ask her to spell it out.
OH can take the older DC out with him and leave you plied with drinks and snacks.

I went out every day but often just for a wander and a coffee not proper social occasions. I found it hard being at home all day as the days were really long.

But you shouldn't feel pressured! Say you want a day with no plans!

Everyday
i mean if you have older kids then you should get out with them each day

I was very sore after a c-section and could barely walk for at least 6 weeks - only a couple of hundred metres in one go. That, on top of the relentless breastfeeding (30 minutes, plus 15 min held upright, nappy change, then only an hour or so until it's was repeated) and the fact I live rurally so need to drive to go anywhere (apart from dog walks), and there's weather was crap, mean to it's only now - when she's 4 months old - that I'm really getting out and about.

Just go at your own pace, everyone's different and hopefully he'll understand!

Everyday, multiple times a day. The dog needed a walk, the baby needed fresh air, and I often had errands to run or grocery shopping etc!

I didn't go out much with my eldest in the first few weeks, I went out more when I had my son because I had to pick up my eldest from nursery. With my current 8 month old I was home for the first y weeks, I went out for appointments but that is it. She started baby massage classes at 8 weeks and baby sensory.

It's totally up to you, don't compare yourself, if he wants to go out fair enough but you don't have to.

I had my baby in lockdown #1 and I went out every single day. I vowed that I would so that A.) I didn’t go fucking batshit. 2.) to give me confidence to take him out. 3.) so that I could be around human beings as I was so isolated. Even though it was only supermarkets at the time. I used to wander the aisles fairly frequently. As a toddler now he still has a favourite woman in Waitrose.

I even drove (with doc’s sign off) two weeks after my CS because I live in the middle of nowhere. I just had to be a bit tentative lifting the pram out.

Every day for my sanity...we are all different though !!

Yes, I was totally unprepared for how time consuming breast feeding can be. In my antenatal classes I was told a slow baby may feed for as long as an hour at a time.... By day 5 my son's shortest feed of the day was over 5 hours!! By day 11, he fed for 20 out of 24 hours. Truly horrendous time. Midwife actually said to me 'its just as well you don't have any other children'! Thankfully once tongue tie snipped at 4 weeks the situation dramatically improved (procedure had been suspended due to Covid). But my experiences really highlighted to me how every baby is different and you have to do what is best for you and baby. Don't compare yourself to others.

OP is the problem more that you are being scheduled and not able to go with the flow ? I agree with other PPs that it’s good to get out and get some fresh air, but I’d hate to have my activities prescribed to sitting in someone else’s living room.

Every day. I felt a lot worse if I stayed home. However it wasn't for endless visits to my in laws, more like a short walk to the local shop or the playpark for my older child.

Definitely don't be pressured into going.

As much as I can manage, I HATE being stuck indoors at times. Sometimes I like a home day (like today) but even then my mums come over to spend time with the kids. But it really doesn’t matter what I like to do, we’re all different. You need to talk to your partner.

Surely you just tell your DH to go out with the other kids?

Every day from the start with all 3.
DS1 - DH and I walked into the village and did some shopping for bits and pics for New Year's Eve, then took him along the seafront for a walk and went home when he was 2 days old.
Same with the other 2. Straight out every day for a walk from the day we came home from hospital.
I continued it - still do it with DS2 who is DC3 and coming up to 3. DS1 and DD are at school now.
It was good for me and my mental health. Mind you I didn't breast feed and didn't have terrible births.

Tell him to take the older kids if he’s desperate to get out and you’ll stay home

It doesn’t matter how often others went out or not when they had their children. You have a massive DH problem. He can take the kids out and give you some time to relax with the baby and heal up.

Both of my pregnancies, one emcs, baby born in the middle of winter and the other forceps with stitches, baby born in the beginning of autumn, I only went out if I chose or had to. No way would I let my DH decide for me when we would leave the house after birthing a baby.

If you’re up for it, that’s different. I recall trying to go for a walk a few days after my second and we only got as far as a block from our home because it was too painful for me and we went straight home.

Don’t go out unless you have to or feel the need to.

I didn't do very much popping round peoples houses when I had a newborn and an older child. They can come and visit you if they like. Or DH can take them himself. I didn't want to go anywhere when I was leaky and sore!

Once a day for a walk, damned lockdown 🤣