Homework club for a Year 4, AIBU to say no?

[SickofHomework]

DD is currently Year 3 (7 almost 8 years old). We’re in a 3-tier system so she has 1 more year left after she finishes Year 3 of Primary/First School before Middle School (midlands before anyone asks).

DD has some SN and because of that I had to get rid of her tablet and laptop. She was just too attached to them, refused to come off or use them just for homework, tried to take it to bed with her (never managed it) and would refuse to do anything else at all until I promised her tablet time.

When I got rid (when she was in Year 2) I told school she would need paper copies of any homework, I told them I was happy to pay for printing costs, or if they’d prefer, they could email it to me and I’d use the printer at work (with permission). They refused, told me I needed to give the tablet back as they use apps only for homework. I have repeatedly explained why I got rid of the tablet (I kept the laptop and occasionally use it although I have a work laptop if I need to work), and I am sticking with that decision as when DD goes round to friends or family she asks if they have a tablet and will sit on that for the whole time, we’re there rather than play with family and it’s a battle to get her off it. School told me she needs to learn to self-regulate it but she just won’t, she’d sit all day and do nothing else.

I have asked both the teachers since I got rid of the tablet and mentioned it to the SENCo all of whom made the right noises and said they’d sort it then came back to me and said it’s apps onluy.

(For context her SN is dyslexia, Developmental Co-ordination Disorder/Dyspraxia and an eye condition – tablet is not good for her eye condition either).

School is now saying that as she’s done no homework this year and got 0/0 on every spelling test (yep even spelling practice is an app) that when she gets to Year 4, she’ll have to go to homework club on 2 nights a week, these will be the 2 nights her teacher runs the club and she will just be kept back and not released to me. They’ve said the children will be given the school ipads to work on their homework.

DD does activities on some nights, which she loves. She also hates school so keeping her there longer may tip her over the edge, we already get violent meltdowns. I also try and make appointments for her eye condition after school but they aren’t on a set night as I will go to whichever clinic her consultant is at (he runs it at 1 local hospital but also runs clinics in the 2 next counties along and will just fit patients in wherever there’s a gap rather than say we must be seen at X hospital).

AIBU to say no they can’t keep her as I’ve repeatedly asked for paper copies of the homework? They’ve told me she’ll fail the year (whatever that means) if she doesn’t do homework and she will “not be prepared for Year 5 and the independence needed”.

AIBU?

Say NO

I’m quite torn on this because I can see where you’re coming from, but from the school’s perspective, you are being quite difficult.

Your daughter doesn’t need paper copies of homework because of her SEN, she needs them because of your parenting choice. It’s a reasonable choice, but it’s not one that should become the teachers problem and cost them extra time and energy. If your dd weren’t capable of doing the homework on the apps, then the extra work would be fine to expect from the teacher, but she can.

Understandably, you don’t want to give her a tablet at home but that creates the problem that the homework doesn’t get done, so the school have offered a solution to that problem by inviting her to homework club. But that still isn’t good enough for you, so it is you that is being obstructive here.

Forget asking for paper versions of homework, the school clearly aren’t willing to provide them and nor should they have to. Choose one of the options they have given you, or just accept that your dd won’t be doing homework and if there’s consequences of that then so be it.

apps is incredibly lazy as there is no work involved for the the teacher and no marking and no support from the teacher
duh! That’s the whole point!!!

they could of given you all spellings at the start of the year and tested her every half term
They could indeed have given the spellings out at the start of the year. My school uses a spelling app and we hand out the termly spellings on paper.

I thinks it pretty normal for kids not to self regulate iPad time. Mine don't and I give a 5 minute warning, when time is up, then I say turn off. They very rarely do, so I say I will be taking the iPad in 5 4 3 2 1 and I take it. My youngest on occasions cries and throws a wobbly, sometimes rolls about and has a rage and I ignore it for a bit. And then I distract with something else and she's over it. She is very feisty. Generally l would say she is improving on this every time. My older DC just gives a sad face then he's onto the next thing.

I have set my own limit and it generally is the same per session, but I'm flexible and they don't notice exactly.

The homework club sounds ideal really. When the club ends so does screen time, let them manage it a bit. Take the pressure off you.

The school shouldn't try to force homework club or use it as a punishment, but do you think it could actually be useful? At least if you could choose the days so that it didn't conflict with other activities.

It would allow her to get homework done and use tablets only at school, hopefully meaning she will understand that there's no screen time at home. And if that doesn't work, the school will be able to see her reactions to the end of screen time themselves.

FWIW I regularly attended the homework club at secondary school because my family couldn't afford a computer (although less homework required computers then). I never particularly saw it as a punishment - it was the same amount of homework whether I did it at home or at school.

Update:

Have been doing the spellings as suggested here, so DD writing them down and me inputting the spellings into app via my phone. It's still not 100% but I'm using the Year 2 and 3 spellings and I'd say matching 90-95% so at least there's some benefit.

I've agreed DD can go to homework club 1 night a week if this isn't good enough, but I want it to be a night she'd be at wraparound anyway. School haven't got back to me on that yet.