**TO SEEK LEGAL ACTION AGAINST MY NEIGHBOUR**

[kiwi97]

I've been having numerous issues over the past 4 years and more recently before Christmas with my neighbour upstairs.Four weeks ago my husband wrote a letter for the neighbour about ongoing issues. The next day she confronts me about the letter & disagrees with certain points and argues with me.When I return back from dropping off my child at Nursery, there's a foul smelling liquid been poured outside my front door & I know it's her but can't prove it
This has happened three times during the week and she's the only one in, because she doesn't work. Three days later she tells me I've logged a complaint against me to the local authorities. On the 20th Dec 2007 Social Services arrives at my front door, telling me that there's an allegation about me looking after young children without being registered as a childminder & that the children are or been left alone.I'm not quite sure what's going on & feel very upset & of course violated by the accusations made. I'm 100% sure it's my neighbour upstairs who has logged a complaint against me. I'm a mother and qualified NNEB & feel I'm a victim of a malicious attack & false allegations made against me, which could put my career under scrutiny. These claims have been made by my neighbour upstairs.
I look after my friends child on a casual basis as my child is best friends with her's and they go to the same Nursery. This childcare arrangement is an agreement between friends,not a formal childminding arrangement.( I'm not a childminder) Yesterday I received a letter from Ofsted & Social Services, there's no case & no futher action to be taken against me. My family feel very emotional about the harassment received from our neighbour & are seeking advice about if I can take legal action against her for false allegations.
DO YOU THINK I'M BEING UNREASONABLE?

Can you install CCTV trained on your door and the corridor? That might be enough to stop this silly woman, who, it would appear, does not enough to do...

OP has said she doens;t think she will take legal action now

i still think moving is a good idea !

Sorry but I think there is fault on both sides here. You wrote her a letter about when she uses her washing machine? And reported her to the council about her music who in turn wrote her a letter? Why didn?t you just go round and talk to her? Ask nicely instead of sending letters/informing her to the councel?

And if you look after your friend?s child on a very regular basis how is she to know that you?re not childminding? If I thought someone was childminding without registration I?d be inclined to report them too, she may have done it just to get you back.

Bit of tit for tat IMO and the pair of you need to grow up.

I agree with the other comments about trying to build bridges. I don't think you tell someone to stop using their washing machine at 11 o'clock at night.

I would guess most people put their washing machines on at night, so they can hang it up first thing. I put mine on before I go to bed.

The letter from the Council was sent about 3 years ago,other neighbours also informed the council about her music played during the week & weekends from 12.00am onwards.(No harassment from us)
The Social Services knows about her, as she suffers from Mental issues. This only makes it harder for us as there are bads days & good days. Our landlord is aware of her behaviour, because he lived here as well & let's her father know about these problems.
I don't want CCTV put up & I don't hate her, I'm just annoyed about her false information against me.

You need to get hold of a decibel metre which will measure the noise from the washing machine or music, anything over 80db and of a long duration can cause permanent hearing loss. (Health and safety Regulations) If you are in your child's room and the washing machine is over 80db then you have every right to complain about your neighbour using it when your child is in bed. Your child should not be subjected to something which could cause her hearing loss.

I have to admit once I read about the washing machine business I did think that would make me annoyed. I wash at night also. More than likley your dc would wake up anyway without it on and back ground noise is good for them to get used too. I definately think get on the friendly front of people is easier. We fell out with our neighbours,more so, they fell out with us but now at least we speak to be polite which is better for everyone. They complained about various things even ds going up the stairs and dp having a vehicle parked outside,I think they even called the police and definately my partners works head office!! Now they have more kids years on and are noisier than we are,rowing at all hours. You dont have to like them its just less stressful for you and by all means I dont agree with what they have done to you either. goodluck

oh I see, worse then if mental issues are the problem and music after 12 am ect. Not quite so easy to overcome. Very difficult for you.

chloesmumtoo,
I agree with you about trying to be friendly with your neighbours. Mine weren't, they called the police when me and dp were rowing, consequently dp was arrested and done for breach of the peace. Never mind that their dog yaps til midnight and she shouts and bawls obscenities at her kids. My dp now plans to chainsaw their overhanging tree right up to the boundary and lob it into their garden just to p* them off. Its better to be on speaking terms I think......

Wannabe we have tried talking to her ( nicely), but what can you do if she doesn't clearly want to listen and keeps on telling you get a solicitor & laughing about it.
Our landlord know's what she's like & we wrote her a letter so we can keep copies & gather infomation together.
Our landlord needs to be more involved this is a private rented property. The neighbour own's her own house.
Wannabe have you been reading from start about this problem, I don't need to grow up, I'm just looking for some advice, maybe you have had issues with childminders. I'm not one and don't get paid!

Kiwi, get hold of a decibel metre from the environmental health department and get the readings from that. At least then you have proof that the noise is at a certain level, then a solicitor will be able to say that it is a risk to your daughter's health. She won't get any concessions because she is suffering with mental ill health.

oh my god dixichik, dont let him lol!!It is awful isnt it friction like this. Can understand how he feels though. Poor you and dh with police,how embarrassing. Its like everything, with neighbours you gotta have a bit of give and take else its a nightmare.

Chloesmumtoo & Dixichik sorry to hear of your issues from other people, it's not nice when you come home & worry what they might do next etc... I need my lardlords back up when she starts with her problems again. We are too scared to say anything to her or even write letters.

anyone else have any advice?

So the neighbour owns her own house but lives upstairs - are they flats? As a owner/occupier she has a right to do as she chooses unless the property is leasehold in which case there would be a freeholder to whom you could complain re noise as htere may be certain retsrcitions under the lease. However that doesn't sound as if it applies here.

I'm not sure what you could take action for tbh, nor if you have any actual proof regarding your allegations beyond circumstantial and conjecture.

no I have no issues with childminders. But "I look after my friends child on a casual basis as my child is best friends with her's and they go to the same Nursery. This childcare arrangement is an
agreement between friends,not a formal childminding arrangement.". How is your neighbour to know that? If this child is being looked after by you for more than a certain amount of hours per week (and I don't know how many it is but it isn't many,) in the eyes of the law you are childminding, and should be registered, insured etc. I think the only exception to this is families looking after each other's children but not friends. So, if you look after this child most days, you are essentially an unregistered childminder.

Of course it's wrong for her to have made alagations that you're leaving children alone in the house, but if she is suffering from mental illness she probably isn't a very rassional person.

i don't understand why you don't just move. This situation clearly isn't going to resolve itself is it?

I have just read through it all and from what you have said - unless there is something else - I think you are being more annoyed than is warranted. Occasional music after 12 midnight is annoying but not worth legal action and as for the washing machine - I really don't think it is reasonable to ask her to not put it on after 11pm.

There are obviously some things that need resolving and perhaps once you get talking you may find that the noise from something your family does really gets her wound up as well.

I feel that you have to either talk to her sensibly or put your energy into moving. escalating the situation is just going to make it worse for everyone.

Oh will just add this comes from someone whose neighbour wrote bitch in bleach on my front lawn 10 years ago because I asked her to quieten down a party at 4.30 in the morning that had been going on for 3 days!

I live in Germany, where there are very clear rules about this sort of thing. Kiwi is being perfectly reasonable, imo. Why is it childish to complain about someone making noise in the middle of the night?
Pouring something on your neighbour's doorstep, on teh other hand, is losing the plot and crazy.

the normal rules here, are: semi-quiet from 8pm - 10pm, and totally quiet from 10pm - 7am.

semi-quiet means no loud music/music practise/drilling
total quiet means that people shouldnt hear your music outside your flat.

Washing machine or loud music at 11pm is a definite no.

If you are in flats, isnt there a management, or residents' committee?

She is being reasonable if there are such rules in the lease (assuming they are held leasehold) which are being contravened but at present that is unclear. Even so as a tenant it is really for her landlord to take it up on her behalf in the first instance.

Wannabe how many times do I makes this clear. I don't need to be registered as a childminder I'm not one, I don't get paid & my neighbour know's this child is my friends. If you did some research you only need to be registered if you look after a child more than 2 hours & receive rewards on domestic premises which I don't do. I'm not an unregistered childminder and Ofsted said they will not be taking no futher action.
I don't want to move as we are leaving the country next year & my child is settled at school.

nightynight, thanks for your opinion I like the noise rules over there sounds great.
When I was pregnant she was playing music during the week loud, right up till 3am everynight. Neighbours were also complaining, the Council came around to her house and gave her a letter explaining if she doesn't turn off her music then they will take her stereo away. I still can't see why people think it's ok to put on a washing machine after 11pm, when she is at home all day. When the spin cylce is on it's quite loud and sometimes her washing is not finished until 1am. Our landlord needs to be involved, but she is so.....intimidating to talk too even our Landlord knows that & I wish he would stick up for us.

i think legal action will leave you in the worst. but i also think that you are NOT being unreasonable people living in flats should not be causing a nuisance to their neighbors its not acceptable for her to put her washing machine on that late as others will be disturbed whether the other neighbors have children or not. Also you looking after your friends child is kosher and not an issue . well ihope it can all be resolved some how personally i would try to ignore it as much as humanly possible if ss dropped there case let it go and try to be nice to her mental issues affect peoples lives more than you may think being nice may knock her for 6 and she may back off

She has apologised for her behaviour when she is rude etc.. She suffers from depression & I think other issues, but I've said if you need any help I'm just downstairs.
Her parents moved away from her, as they are also fed up.
But for her to report false information about me is so...annoying. I'm not going to take LEGAL ACTION, I'm going to carry on living my day to day life with family in this rented property. Might sound crazy, but it's expensive to find somewhere else & we are saving to move back too New Zealand.

Anyone who thinks its OK to have a washing machine put on at 11pm, which starts to spin at 12.30am obviously hasn't lived in a flat beneath anyone who does it. I have lived beneath people who have done this and it made my whole flat vibrate.

I assume the woman lives alone, therefore should not have piles of laundry to do. Surely, then, it would be reasonable for her to put the machine on during the day.
In our flats you must not make any noise which can be heard outside after 11pm. It's a perfectly reasonable request IMO.

Thanks for everyones advice.
lately she has been very quiet, due to her false information not beening processed against me as there's no case. Also on Tuesday last week, when we recieved the letter and her from Ofsted. My Husband collected the mail and she know's that we know it's her who has complain. Maybe she is worried about what we might do, but I'm not going to do anything, just sit back & relax.