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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DC play rugby

37 replies

NoRugbyMom · 23/04/2022 07:27

Rugby is a big thing where we live. Kids play it at school and the local club puts on events at school to encourage new players. A lot of my DC’s friends and classmates already go. It is non contact at the moment but that will change as they grow.

Having read about professional players developing MND, dementia etc I don’t want my DC to play. I know improvements have been made to how the game is played and the way injuries are treated but there are still risks.

DC would like to go because all he friends do but I have managed to make excuses so far and encourage other sports.

AIBU to not let DC play rugby?

OP posts:
balalake · 23/04/2022 07:29

At school maybe in PE lessons, not at a club additionally, is my opinion.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/04/2022 07:31

I don’t blame you, I think it’s a dangerous sport and think it’s awful that schools now play it. My nephew plays it at school, one day he couldn’t go to school because the day before in a game a much bigger boy tackled him, he was in so much pain.

theremustonlybeone · 23/04/2022 07:32

All my DC play rugby. They play tag until u9 so it’s no contact. The concussion training is mandatory and there is strict guidance in place. If your DC are young a bit of tag rugby is fun.

theremustonlybeone · 23/04/2022 07:34

I should add many kids drop out when it becomes contact even though it’s very low contact at the early stages. I must add are you going to stop them playing at school too?

SoggyPaper · 23/04/2022 07:35

My DS has recently taken up rugby (because his friends play it, so he’s joined their club). It’s U13s so there’s contact but as far as I can tell safety is a really big priority for all the coaches and clubs. They aren’t allowed contact after Easter to give the kids a break.

i think rugby is well aware of the issues caused by attitudes and practices in the past. So it’s all quite careful to teach safe contact and rules/boundaries about what is acceptable.

tbh, football has similar problems with injustices caused by years of heading balls. And loads of injuries from poor tackling practices etc (especially in some 5 a side type teams).

Original poster
NoRugbyMom · 23/04/2022 07:40

I wouldn’t stop them playing in school as it’s non contact so far but don’t want to encourage it beyond that.

but as you say improvements have been made and others sports carry risks

OP posts:
RancidOldHag · 23/04/2022 07:43

What age DC?

TBH, by the time they're old enough for full contact rugby, they're also old enough to decide for themselves

MissyB1 · 23/04/2022 08:04

It’s safer than it’s ever been tbh, there’s so much more awareness about the risks. And as you said yourself there are risks attached to every sport. My ds has just come back from a skiing trip, I was far more worried about him doing that than his rugby!

Hubblebubble · 23/04/2022 08:05

Tag rugby is so safe I used to play in a mixed sex team as an adult.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 23/04/2022 08:11

My dc play Rugby at senior school but only if they are in a single sex PE group. As far as I can make out its full contact, as they wear gum protectors and talk about tackles. Its no worse than football or martial arts, and certainly not as dangerous as skiing or horseriding.
Coaches and parents have told me behaviour on pitch at junior club level is much better than at football.

RecallRecall · 23/04/2022 08:27

I think the benefits of rugby outweigh the risks. It’s very inclusive, every size and shape can play and good sportsmanship/sportswomanship is hugely important.

I should imagine the risks of brain damage are minimal if you are playing as a teen only in the season. There is definitely a high risk of other injuries but these are rarely life changing. I think a teenager is old enough to decide wether they enjoy it enough to play outside of school.

EarlGreywithLemon · 23/04/2022 08:28

I’m with you - wouldn’t be happy with it either

SoggyPaper · 23/04/2022 08:47

DS broke his wrist snowboarding. I dislocated my elbow after a bike accident.

participation is Sport increases the risk in injury. But coaching and awareness di increase the risk.

my experience of rugby has been that it’s incredibly inclusive and very social for them.

Carpy88999 · 23/04/2022 08:54

Pretty much every sport is dangerous and the benefits always outweighs the negatives! Unless we're talking extreme sports like cave diving I'd never ever stop my kids from partaking in sports.

KangarooKenny · 23/04/2022 08:55

I knew of more injuries from football than rugby when my DS was playing both.

fUNNYfACE36 · 23/04/2022 08:57

I don't think that you will have the option to withdraw them from contact rugby at school when they get to secondary

Willyoujustbequiet · 23/04/2022 08:59

Yanbu. I think both rugby and football are facing an early dementia time bomb in the near future.

Our small town has also had a couple of young lads paralysed. One sadly died. Such a waste.

Haggisfish3 · 23/04/2022 09:01

I totally agree op. My ds is perfect shape and build for rugby but there is no way he will be playing it. I also think the brain damage from it (and possibly football) will be revealed over the next few decades.

Simonjt · 25/04/2022 09:54

Rugby is a brilliant sport with a very healthy team spirit, negative team spirit is very much frowned upon.

All sports carry a risk, I would be more concerned about head injuries in football, especially as the FA are still in denial.

I played at a high level professionally, I now play a lower level part time. No significant injuries here, no concussion. I did break my arm playing a sport, tennis!

Giraffesandbottom · 25/04/2022 10:09

Make sure he wears a scrum cap and a mouth guard and he will be fine. And a cup!

all the best sports contain risk

ResentfulLemon · 25/04/2022 10:55

My opinion is skewed slightly because my dad has MND. He wasn't a rugby player, but now we're in the MND community the amount of men who used to play rugby who now have MND tells a scary story. Statistically they and other high contact sport players seem to make up the largest common denominator of those struck down by this tortuous and evil disease.

It may be a small risk, but frankly as anyone who knows someone with advanced MND will tell you you'd do anything to avoid increasing your chances of developing it.

There's nothing that could persuade me to allow my children do any contact sport where heavy head contact is a probable outcome of playing rather than a rare one.

imovethestarsforno1 · 25/04/2022 11:39

im probably in the minority here but my almost 9yo plays rugby and boxes. My gragrandad and great grandad were professional boxers and a cousin plays rugby at county level my grandad and great grandad did both end up with dementia but i dont feel that boxing was entirely to blame for that. I let ds do these activities because he enjoys them and it links him to his history. As pp have said any sport is dangerous my mum is wrecked from years of ballet and ive had no end of injurys from aerial acro.

edwinbear · 25/04/2022 11:48

DS (12) has played since he was 2, DD (10) started last September, they both play for a Club and school. I echo others than the sportsmanship, teamwork and inclusivity in rugby is quite exceptional and we highly value that. There is no disagreeing with the referee, no parents shouting at the kids/ref, it's a very respectful sport and the skills DC have taken from it have carried across into their schoolwork and other sport.

There is risk when they start contact, but if they are well trained, they learn how to tackle safely and crucially, how to fall when tackled. This doesn't fully eliminate the risk entirely and DS ended up with a concussion this season. The protocol for return to play is very stringent - DS was seen by 3 doctors and was off all sport for 3 weeks, including swimming/running as there would be a tiny risk of him falling poolside for example and hitting his head again, which was deemed an unacceptable risk.

I'm comfortable with the risk personally, but we reassess at the start of each season. DS is slight but fast, so plays on the wing or full back, I'd feel differently if he was on the front row. He could do with putting some weight on before the start of next season as even though he's usually the fastest man on the pitch so doesn't get caught, on the occasions he does, the kids are much bigger and bring him down hard. He absolutely adores the game and would be furious if I tried to stop him playing.

yellowsuninthesky · 25/04/2022 11:51

I think (state) school rugby should be tag only. Clubs (should) have properly qualified coaches and should be well informed of the risks. Plus it is a choice to play it at club level, which it may not be at school.

Private schools may have properly qualified coaches too, so the issue is slightly different.

senua · 25/04/2022 11:59

Having read about professional players developing MND, dementia etc ...
What relevance have some professional players to your DC? It's like saying Ayrton Senna died in a car crash therefore I'll never let my DC drive. There's a big difference between someone who does it for a living, pushing boundaries to get a competitive edge, and yer average kid.