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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What’s wrong with me?

15 replies

FrankReynolds · 22/04/2022 15:36

Children going absolutely off their heads today (3&6). They were jumping off the furniture, throwing Lego around and screaming whilst not listening to a word I said. Craving a minute's peace I finally gave in and let them have half an hour on Lego Worlds on the PlayStation. It keeps them occupied but I don't like to fall back on it. I quickly nipped downstairs for a wee, 2 minutes I was gone, I come back upstairs and 3 y/o has smashed his PS controller into the TV and broken it. I've had to break the news to DH who is WFH upstairs and on back to back phone calls. He's disappointed in us and it's my fault. 6 y/o keeps going number 2 in his pants because of ASD issues (we're waiting for an assessment).

Im sick of the smell of shit, the screaming, the constant treating me like a vending machine. I'm behind on my college work because I can't take my eye off them even for a wee, it would seem.

I've asked my parents if they could help by visiting or we could go there but mum has a nail appointment so that's them busy for the rest of the day now, supposedly. I'm on antidepressants and have been for years and I'm feeling myself slowly but surely sliding off a precipice. I just can't keep them entertained, they're only interested in destroying the house and each other.

OP posts:
Buzzer3555 · 22/04/2022 15:58

Give yourself a hug. You are having a rubbish time bit it will pass. The 6 year old will be back at school on Monday which should ease things a bit
As soon as your husband finishes work take some time.

ZwayLo · 22/04/2022 16:01

That sounds difficult. No advice but I hope the assessment comes through soon and can provide some support.

The broken tv is just shit as well. Sad

myveryloudsun · 22/04/2022 16:02

Your husband is disappointed in you? Fuck that

GabriellaMontez · 22/04/2022 16:06

myveryloudsun · 22/04/2022 16:02

Your husband is disappointed in you? Fuck that

This.

"I had to break the news"

The news is that a child broke a toy.

BuffyBeat · 22/04/2022 16:07

Have you got a park nearby where they could run off their excess energy.
It’s a bit breezy today but at least it’s sunny and dry.

agapanthus1979 · 22/04/2022 16:46

You sound like a hero to me, and anyone who suggests otherwise (such as a 'd'p) can fuck off.
Be kind to yourself. 🍸

FrankReynolds · 22/04/2022 17:56

It’s the telly he broke, rather than the PlayStation controller. He’s furious and it’s happened on my watch so I’m at fault 😑

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/04/2022 18:12

Do you are not allowed to go for a pee?

What has he done to provide a means for you to be able to pee without the DC accidentally breaking something?

MaryAndHerNet · 22/04/2022 18:16

Firstly, you're being way too hard on yourself.

Kids breaking the TV was their fault, not yours.

Secondly.. let them play games..
If it entertains them for a few hours and gives you peace, there's no harm at all.
The tighter you restrict, the more it gets craved.

Thirdly... Dunk OH slippers in the mop bucket right before bed... Fucking twat.

Heyisforhorses · 22/04/2022 18:20

Kids breaking things happen in an instant, tell your DH to back off. You're balancing a lot, tell him to help out and give solutions to giving your brain a break rather than add to your already shitty load. Hugs to you xxx

Jellycatspyjamas · 22/04/2022 18:28

What a shit day you’ve had (literally). My DD had toileting issues aged 6 and it utterly wears you down - I remember thinking my house didn’t even smell like mine because of the urine and shit smells.

You’re allowed to go to the toilet, even if you were there the chances are it would have happened anyway, these things happen so quickly. My DH would get short shrift from me if he pulled “I’m disappointed in you”, quickly followed by a day of looking after the kids while I took a day off out of the house. These things happen.

Can you get some time to rest and catch your breath? And in answer to your question there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, you just have a lot on your plate.

FrankReynolds · 22/04/2022 20:11

Thank you everybody. Children en route to bed so I’ll get a bit of breathing space. Mentally feeling like something that’s been scraped out of a drain but I have a chocolate stash I can make a dent in.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 22/04/2022 20:14

Oh OP - how horrible. That sounds hideous.

what downtime do you get?

DueyCheatemAndHow · 22/04/2022 20:15

I hate parenting atm.

Your story resonates a lot. But what would push me over the edge would be DH blaming me.

vipersnest1 · 22/04/2022 20:45

I don't think there's anything wrong with you, @FrankReynolds, but there does appear to be an imbalance in your relationship with your DH.
You are not to blame for needing to go to the toilet. That's a human need. I can't get my head around why your DH has blamed you for what happened.
That's without the other issues that you have to deal with - I hope you are able to access help soon for DC1.
I know how difficult it can be to have DC
with additional needs, and how draining it is. Sadly, I think you need to sit DH down and spell it out for him as he clearly isn't getting it ATM.
I'm sorry for you that your parents aren't more supportive. What about DH's parents? Is that something that might help?
I hope you find a way out of this that works for you and your DCs. Flowers

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