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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours and fence

57 replies

Pandy37123 · 22/04/2022 14:08

Probably a very dull AIBU but me and dh are at a impasse and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or if he is.

We live in a semi detached with fences separating our garden from neighbours each side. One side is detached and the other side is attached to us. Our deeds say that the fence between us and the detached neighbours belong to them. The fence is on their border and we don’t have a fence on our side. The fence between us and the house attached to us belongs to us. The fence at the bottom of the garden is ours too.

We have been in our home for 8 years and get on with neighbours on both sides. Detached neighbours are both retired and have raised their family in their home. They are very well known and respected in the street. They always ask after my children, check the house when we are away, take in packages etc.

Last week our neighbours (detached side) advised that the fence has failed on their side and that they have a contractor coming out to see it with a view to replace the whole thing. They gave us a knock when the contractor arrived and asked our opinion on fence height etc. as they planned on reducing the height and wanted to confirm we were happy with the level of privacy.

Anyway on Wednesday morning we awoke to find next door neighbours had pushed a copy of the quote through the door. It was broken down by the contractor to show two amounts - our contribution and the next door neighbour’s contribution. The price is £4,000 which doesn’t look too bad as it a 40m fence and includes VAT. I spoke to the neighbour and detailed that our deeds show that the fence is theirs however they say their deeds detail repairing fences are shared responsibility and the previous two owners have always gone halves. I believe them and don’t think they are trying to pull the wool over our eyes.

Now to the AIBU - dh says I am a complete idiot to even consider paying. He says ourdeeds clearly state they have responsibility and the fence is on their land. I understand his point of view but do not want to be arguing/jeopardise the relationship we have with our neighbours over £2,000. If the fence came down (it’s on its last legs) and the neighbours didn’t put one back up we would have to put a fence up so that the children were safe. We will have to take the money out of savings and I’d rather spend on it something else but this feels like general house wear and tear and not worth the potential damage to the relationship.

Who is being unreasonable and/or is there an approach where everyone wins?

OP posts:

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 22/04/2022 14:18

I would check your deeds absolutely say what you think they say- print out a copy!
plus obtain a copy of your neighbours deeds - you can pay £5? and get them downloaded from the land registry. See what they say. if they agree, go and speak to your neighbours, explain that the deeds say they own the fence and it’s wholly their responsibility and you are very sorry but you cannot help. (Don’t have the money etc)
if the deeds do say different things then you will have to be honk more carefully ability how to proceed and why the deeds differ.
You are right, a fence doesn’t have to be in place. Twigs and string would do to mark the boundary, so yes you would have to think about what you would do if they did refuse to put up a fence at all. I can see that if that were the case, sharing the cost now, may be beneficial to you for privacy, security and financially.
fingers Crossed for an amicable solution.

carefullycourageous · 22/04/2022 14:20

You need to ask them to show you the deeds, do not do this on trust. Print them a copy of the relevant part of your deeds, highlight the section, and ask them to do the same.

MaggieFS · 22/04/2022 14:20

For comparison, I've just reviewed that it cost £1100 incl VAT for us to have about a 10m fence replaced including concreting in the posts and some gravel boards. So even though it's a huge sum of money, the quote is probably reasonable.

What if one of the two fences you own actually needs replacing? How will you pay for those? You can't just pick up tabs for things you don't need to!

Also, TWO previous owners have gone halves? How many times are they replacing the fence? What have they done to it? How has it failed?

It's quite possible to have a conversation about the facts without being rude or falling out.

Worst case I'd say you pay e.g. £500 in the interests of being a good neighbour.

KangarooKenny · 22/04/2022 14:20

I’d rather pay that amount towards putting my own fence up, one that I’d own. I wouldn’t pay if the fence is theirs.

Maydaysoonenough · 22/04/2022 14:25

Are you always such a walkover?
Of course you check legal documents before writing a cheque!!

profilehopper · 22/04/2022 14:27

You have three choices I suppose. first inform you neighbour your not willing to pay and potentially fall out (good neighbour's are hard to come by)
Second pay half and be a good neighbour.
Third just have a chat and say the cost is an issue, and you would preferer it if they install their own fence 100% on their property and you can install your own if you want.

For me I just told my neighbour's who I knew would not pay and is an arse, I informed them I was replacing the fence and I put it 100% within my boundary line on my side and they could not attach any thing to it or paint it as it was privately owned by me from that point on. They were happy not to pay and I own the fence no issues.

ChimChimeny · 22/04/2022 14:28

Definitely check!!! Who would hand over £2,000 on someone's say so 😆

AgentProvocateur · 22/04/2022 14:35

I can see I’m in a minority here, but I’d pay half. When my neighbours fence blew down years ago, we went halfers to get a decent fence put up. It’s lasted more than 15 years. You’ll benefit and if they’re decent neighbours, id pay half.

Money4icecream · 22/04/2022 14:37

I wouldn't pay unless it is stated on the deeds. What if your neighbours decide to sell up next year and the new neighbours decide to change the fence will you have to pay for that too?

JustJam4Tea · 22/04/2022 14:38

I'd pay half - to get a decent job done. And keep good relations.

Original poster

Pandy37123 · 22/04/2022 14:40

They have been in the property at least 40 years. The people we bought from where here for 15 years. I suspect if the wind hadn’t been quite so bad we might have had a few more years.

OP posts:

Discovereads · 22/04/2022 14:43

I don’t think it matters who technically owned a fence that is about to fall over and so must be replaced.

question is do you want to contribute to a fence there, and if so, do you want the hassle to update both the deeds to show joint fence ownership and to ensure the fence goes down the boundary line instead of inside on one side or the other? the advantages are that you can paint your side, you can grow stuff up your side and you can cut in hedgehog pathways, hang bird feeders etc if you jointly own the fence. If you don’t own the fence, you can’t touch it.

question also is, just because you might contribute to replacing that fence, doesn’t mean your other adjacent neighbours would decide to do the same for the fences you currently own if they needed to be completely replaced. So how are you money wise? Can you afford it?

Hankunamatata · 22/04/2022 14:45

When you say whole thing do you mean they are fencing both sides of their garden and bottom? Or just fence between the two gardens?

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 22/04/2022 14:49

You have to be kidding. You have deeds that explain the extent of your responsibility. If theirs say otherwise they need to show you.

All the 'be a good neighbour' shit only ever seems to apply to the person being put upon. The chancers just carry on walking all over people because if some misplaced sense of fear of looking mean!

Be fucking mean! That's £2k of your money they are holding their hands out for.

pigsDOfly · 22/04/2022 14:51

You don't have to fall out with neighbours over this.

If they are responsible for the cost of replacing the fence because it belongs to them you are perfectly within your rights to point this out to them and refuse to pay towards their fence. It's shouldn't make any difference to your relationship unless they're trying it on.

You need to check both deeds and ascertain exactly who's responsible for what.

What the hell are they doing to the fence if during the time they've been living there this is the third time it's had to be replaced. A decent fence should last years and years.

I certainly wouldn't just hand over £2000 to my next door neighbour because they claim everyone else who lived in your house did so. Maybe they did. Maybe they were pushovers, no need for you to be as well.

On the other hand, maybe the previous owners of your house didn't pay half of the cost of your neighbour's fence and your neighbour is hoping you'll just take their word that they did.

Original poster

Pandy37123 · 22/04/2022 14:51

Next door neighbour (is she on Mumsnet 😳) has just sent me this from their deeds. They said ours will likely contains the same thing.

Does this mean everything I thought about my fences is wrong or that we all have to dib into pay for the fences?

OP posts:

Brideandprejudice · 22/04/2022 14:51

I'd get a quote of your own first to be sure before doing anything

DelurkingLawyer · 22/04/2022 14:51

I think they are being cheeky here. If you are legally obliged to pay half then you are entitled to decide jointly when the work is done, by whom, how much to spend, what style of fence etc. They have acted as though they were asking you as a courtesy when in fact they should have said, we think this fence is our joint responsibility and needs replacing, what do you think?

The fact that previous neighbours went halves means nothing as regards actual legal obligation - they might have done it to keep the peace, to get a better spec or for any reason. What matters is what the deeds say and I think it’s worth obtaining yours and theirs to see what they say. What did the searches and seller questionnaires say when you bought the property? It might also be worth asking the previous owners if you are still in touch whether they paid and if so why. If they say “oh to be nice” you can decide if you want to do the same!

Ferntastical · 22/04/2022 14:56

Anyway on Wednesday morning we awoke to find next door neighbours had pushed a copy of the quote through the door

Yeah, they know they are trying it on. They knocked on the door to speak to you regarding height etc, never mentioned costs and when it came to the £2k bill they just pushed it through the door.

oakleaffy · 22/04/2022 14:57

I thought people with adjoining gardens each owned a fence or wall…
Either the one to the left or right ?
we don’t have shares in them all.

Maybe get legal advice?

DelurkingLawyer · 22/04/2022 14:58

Pandy37123 · 22/04/2022 14:51

Next door neighbour (is she on Mumsnet 😳) has just sent me this from their deeds. They said ours will likely contains the same thing.

Does this mean everything I thought about my fences is wrong or that we all have to dib into pay for the fences?

That depends on all sorts of things - firstly your deeds may not contain a similar term, especially if your house was built at a different time from theirs (which it may be as it’s not attached to yours. Second these sorts of covenants even if appearing in both sets of deeds do not necessarily bind subsequent purchasers. I am not a specialist in land law so don’t take my word for it - but I think your first port of call is to your original conveyancer to clarify this.

They are a bit keen aren’t they?

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 22/04/2022 15:05

Op you new post does out a very different light on the matter. Check your own deeds and if needs be seek a solicitor, if it’s legit you should have that in your own property paperwork/deeds. But it does look like you are liable for half, if that is the case, no reason why you can’t get another quote. ( not a lawyer and I would seek legal advice if it were me in your shoes because I like to make absolutely sure about things!)

Original poster

Pandy37123 · 22/04/2022 15:06

I think she is trying to be helpful with a view of getting it sorted quickly (which you could read both ways). Her husband usually deals with all of the maintenance but he had a stroke recently and I think she just wants things squared away quickly.

I know this doesn’t mean we have to move quickly…….

OP posts:

oakleaffy · 22/04/2022 15:07

Also- Fences have a “pretty “side and an less pretty side
who gets the pretty side if you are both paying??
(Assuming Feather edge bespoke rather than off the peg panels that don’t really last that long)

pigsDOfly · 22/04/2022 15:07

Can't read what your neighbour has sent you as the print is too small and I can't enlarge it.

But yes, as pp has said, if you are jointly responsible for this fence then you don't just accept the quote they've pushed through your door.

You need to discuss exactly who is quoting, what they are quoting for and the breakdown of those costs.

They have no right to just present you with a quote and expect you to pay half.

Tbh your neighbour sound very pushy.

I suspect, because they've lived there so long they think they can do things their way and everyone else will just go along with it.

Even if they're happy with the quote they've obtained you can get some quotes of your own.

Don't just accept things on their say so.

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