Hoarding - worth getting help

[NameChangeABC2020]

Hoarding - always been a bit messy, but it has got worse, partly lockdown, also the reuse/recycle mantra hasn't helped.
It is getting me down - all seems huge and untackleable
I've been looking at the Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers and Hoarding UK charity, and I'm thinking about hiring someone with experience in the field to work alongside me to at least make a start - hopefully I could work with a hybrid version, tackle some on my own and someone working with me to help.

I wondered if anyone on here had experience of doing this, and how successful it had been?

Have you see the thread on MSE- might be a good place to get advice

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6322097/2022-decluttering-campaign-mrssd

Be careful if you employ someone to help you. I did and was promised help with why psychologically I was not able to let things go. In the end, the ‘de clutterer’ just stood there while I sorted things into boxes. No help with the why at all. It was £700 a day! I’m not a big hoarder but just needed some organisation. Thought it would change my life. A good friend who is organised and willing to help may be better and much cheaper.

I've recently done my parents home. It took about 2 months of me being there 3 full days a week and a few hours here and there.
My advice would be go into one room at a time and firstly pick out which can be thrown away so you can see what's left.
I took cars and cars full to charity shops. Put some stuff on FB marketplace for people to collect for free. Lots of stuff outside for people to help themselves too.
Some days were worse than others and I struggled with the sheer enormous task I had. Just get your head into the zone and be ruthless. If you don't need it get rid of it.

I don't think I could have got anyone to do it because of the amount of personal possessions and everything needed checking. Good luck

thanks everyone

that's interesting on the hired de-clutterer - £700 a day is a lot - many that I've looked at are around £50 an hour - now seem a lot more reasonable.

I was worried about what they actually do - was the person you used registered with the Declutterers associaion I mentioned above @Rah88 ? I was also worried that some of the ones on that site had websites full of pictures of cutsie neat little jars with matching labels - rather than before and after of hoard and uncluttered. A friend has offered, but I think the psychological help would be good.

I have booked myself on to a one day course, and I'm waiting to hear back about a local support group that meets monthly. Have also bought "reclaim your life from hoarding" book - which I will read and not add to one of the piles the pile.

Well done for being ready to start tackling it! I really think having some professional support along the way is important. I've worked with a few professional declutterers and organisers and have only seen positive results. Most offer a free "hello" appointment so you can see if you get on and trust them. It's important that you do, because it can be hard work.
A lot of the websites look "pretty" because they usually offer downsizing, house staging for sale, and moving/setting up new house services too. But all I've worked with have been very used to tackling a bigger job.
I'd definitely recommend having someone in to help, at least to make a start, get one room clear, and learn the techniques they use so you can carry on after.
The ones I've worked with have been about £35 an hour, that's in Yorkshire.
Hope it goes well!

I'd try counselling to help you deal with underlying reasons you hoard.

Tell us more about the situation. What do you hoard? Do you ever have a clear out? Do you find it hard to let go of everything and anything? Do you buy lots, if so of what?

Which room bothers you the most?

Have you seen the hoarding scale pictures? Which number would you say you are based on those? There are photos showing different rooms, the one I have attached is a bedroom.

I've have no experience of this but even £50 an hour seems crazy. Why don't you start with a regular cleaner and see how it goes. It might be that you feel better once you've started and got rid of some of the clutter.

I don't think I have any mental health issues but clutter and mess makes me feel on edge.

I'm sure that the Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers and Hoarding UK charity are a great organization but anyone can join. I'm not sure why members are more qualified to give psychological help than anyone else. The fact that some appear to be charging so much makes me question their motives tbh. If you paid a generous cleaners rate to someone to help you clean you could then pay a qualified psychologist or counselor with the money you save.
Good luck. I hope you manage to get on top of things.

I found the hoarding scale pictures - I was mostly 3's (there's a series on the Hoarding UK website for different rooms). What I was hoping for was a mix of counselling while doing actual practical stuff in my home, rather than having a conversation with a therapist about it in a disassociated way.
Thats encouraging @NewWateringCan - £50 is London, so not so outrageous in comparison. Where did you find your declutterers? The ones I found on the declutterers assosciation I looked at websites, googled & linkedin etc; & the one I liked with no cutsie pics of matching labelled jars turned out to have only 8 months experience and no particular training,

Have a look at the fly lady website and see if that resonates. Counselling support is invaluable but only if it’s done by a true professional. I have had counselling (took 3 attempts to find one that worked for me) and also used the fly lady approach. Looking at those hoarding photos - counselling took me from a 4 to a 3 and my own work and utilising flylady approach has taken me from 3 to nearly a 1 - with an occasional oscillation back up to a 2 when times are tough. The emotional liberation of living in an uncluttered house has been so much more than I had anticipated.
You sound from your posts as someone who’s already started on your journey of understanding why you keep doing things that you wish you didn’t do. All the best with it.

Flylady had a page for a technique on how to do a massive sort out in a short space of time (which is what I was looking for when I found her pages) - she warns though that if you don’t change the underlying habits they got you where you currently are that you will inevitably end up back there. So I would be concerned that even if you find a great person to help you that you might find the hard work unravels.
Flylady’s style didn’t work for me but her core advice most certainly did. By changing a couple of habits slowly over time and building on those habits, I can now keep my angst-cluttering to a manageable level… never thought that would be possible!

I have self diagnosed with stress related hoarding, the anxiety I feel when I contemplate getting rid of something feels much worse than just still leaving it where it is. For me it's been related to family conflict- my mum is brain injured and I had to clear out her flat, and there have been fights between siblings about how to deal with it all and endless panic that she will need the stuff again and it will be my fault I've got rid of it. Having a house full of my mum's crap plus my own seems a small price to pay to avoid that pain.

But it isn't, not really. I had some friends help me clear a big chunk of my kitchen a couple of weeks ago and I do feel better looking at it. I still have no room at all jn my house that is relaxing to be in, the stress of it is low level but constant.

Im on medication and an about to start therapy. I'd focus on that before tackling the clearing.

I remember FlyLady - I did the clean sink thing for a bit (and whilst not doing it everyday, it's still often something I do as a bit of a kickstart!).Will revisit.
I'm starting CBT therapy for weight related issues next week, but have also seen that CBT can be used for hoarding too - will ask if both can be tackled with the same sessions.
I've just found an "independent living" charity near me that has a "help with hoarding" service that seems to be on a social enterprise payment basis; I've emailed them to find out more. It's not the councelling/practical approach I was hoping for, but it would be people experienced in working with hoarding.

That all sounds great.

Forgot to say, we do also have a cleaner now, as well. My Mum offered to pay for one for the first 6 months after every baby and we’ve kept having a cleaner on ever since. A total luxury I know with the rise in the cost lot living but totally helps me. I tidy the night before she comes and she tidies even more when she comes and does all the cleaning jobs I never do - eg clean the inside of the windows, dust, wipe down the skirting boards etc…

It's a slow 🐌 approach. Do you have an idea of where it stems from? That is the Crux of the psychological side and dealing with that.

I've been at level 9 on the hoarding scale in all rooms. Mental health team stepped in and cleared the place but didn't support the psychological side and within 2 years it was back up to 8. MH team were unsupportive overall but we hadn't dealt with the reas oms. I was referred to a local charity for support with this from a practical side, I also engaged with a psychologist who helped with the mental side of it.

That brought it down to level 1, the pandemic and personal assault have launched this off again but I have reached out to the GP who has referred back me the charity for a limited piece of work. This is a long term problem but over the past 2 years despite all that has gone on my home is at most on level 2 of the scale but it is an ongoing battle.

Rainbow red - website has a useful ice breaker document if you need to ask for help as if you need to hit it from different angles

Also there is a thread on here from a lady who is helping her friend with his hoarding situation - elephant - one bite at a time or something like that.

thanks - I'm going to re-read the flylady stuff - I think as Arucanafeather found, the general style didn't gel with me, but there were bits in the core method. I am planning to get a regular cleaner when I get things straight - I had one many years ago and did find that that really helped.
Huge congratulations @NotanotherboxofFrogs on getting from a high point to a 1, that's brilliant. Not sure where it started - my DM hoarded, but we had a huge house, and to an extent, that could have been for her, growing up through WW2, and my parents going from poverty to relative affluence, that fear & avoicdance of not going without in the future.
I do have other childhood trauma issues, which I think are also at the root of eating issues - there is research linking the two. On discussing with a counsellor in the past (eating, not hoarding) it was still an issue to overcome, but she discussed that it could have been a worse addiction, such as alcohol, drugs, gambling.... not sure I've worded that very well.

On the plus side, I think I've found an option - an organisation called Cluttergone - it seems more in line with what I need rather than photos of immaculately made up women grinning inanely at lines of cutsie naicely labelled glass bottles 😁
Doesn't have the counselling element, but from the biogs people working there seem to have a good attitude and a lot of experience.

Yeah - first session booked - holidays, etc, so not until early June, but booked.
It's a couple of days after the Hoarding Course that I've booked myself on.

It's with the Cluttergone people - not one of the cutsie labelled bottle sites😷

I’ve helped people with hoarding and decluttering with good success the key is getting an infrastructure in place afterwards pm me if you need some help I’m based Gloucestershire/London

thanks Parsley, yes, we talked through strategies and making a lasting change this morning - hopefully this will work🙂 - but will get in touch should I need more help or a different perspective/strategy

name change fail 🙁

@ThinWomansBrain yes please do the theory is much easier than reality which I think a lot of people struggle with and also how I try to do it is ethically like the money raised pays me for my service it’s a collaboration Good luck ♥️

Have a look at the blog a slob comes clean

her before and after pictures are completely real, with not a pretty label or basket in sight!

I found her a few years ago when my house was out of control. She’s very grounded and realistic but her methods are brilliant. And there’s no judgement. Based on the picture scale upthread my house was a 3 with a couple of spare rooms that were a 6. I listened to her podcasts to keep me on track while I was working on it.

you might find her a better fit than flylady.

I would also recommend "a slob comes clean", I borrowed an audio version of her book "Decluttering at the speed of life" and listened to it twice. Really useful on how to get started and keeping areas you have done clear.