For feeling like my life is a chaotic mess even though it shouldn't be.

[Ran41]

I'll start by saying I know there are plenty of people who have a more stressful schedule than mine. Which is why I guess I feel unreasonable that my life feels this way!

I work 3 days a week, am married to a husband who works longggggg hours and typically 6 days a week and have one toddler who goes to nursery those 3 days I work and is with me at home for the other 2.

Due to my husband's work I tend to do 99% of everything to do with our child and the housework. Which is of course reflected in the fact I don't work as much as him so I'm not griping necessarily.

But I feel like my life SHOULD be far less chaotic and more organised than it is.

I always feel on the back foot, the washing is always overflowing, I feel like the house looks like a tip 24/7 despite me feeling like I don't stop tidying it up when I'm here, I'm always forgetting stuff or realising there's no milk at the end of the day for a brew when I've just been to the shops earlier that day, that kind of thing.

I feel like I never really get any time for myself and like I'm juggling balls all the time even though really I'm not.

I honestly don't know how people have the time on things like social media to organise all their pasta into separate little containers and things like that. Not that I'm particularly bothered about doing that 🤣 but you know what I mean! I feel like I just about manage to keep everything together nevermind anything on top.

I feel like I should have the time to make myself more presentable, to take better care of myself but it's like I blink and before I know it it's 5pm and I've still not brushed my hair or showered.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I know it's not the worst problem in the world by far!! I just realised again we have no milk in for a coffee whilst my son eats his breakfast (about the only peace I get from him 🤣) and it just tipped me over! Like why! Why can I not just make sure we have bloody milk in the fridge, I should have enough time to do that!!

The early years with children can be really difficult. The good news is that side of things does get easier. Your 2 year old will get their nursery place when they are three, then it won't be long before they are at school. Plus, as they get older, they don't need watching so much.

The best tip i had was from the wise MNers, who basically said to lower your standards and just accept that your home will be a mess.

My tip, is to try and automate what you can - set up direct payments for everything, online deliveries etc.

I’m well past the stage of having small children but can remember the chaos . Seemed like I never finished cleaning / tidying / ferrying children around. A friend told me that she always found it better to do one thing thoroughly Eg tidying one room, sorting washing, shopping and putting it away . I suppose we would call it mindfulness now. I think it helped although I had to struggle against the belief that everything should be perfect at all times!
now ( due to physical health issues ) I aim to do one “ extra” thing a day. For example ironing, cleaning bathroom . I have had to accept that the house is never all clean at once but it’s not too bad .
Try to enjoy the time your LO is young. I promise you my adult children have never commented on how clean ( or not) their childhood home was. Don’t be so hard on yourself .

Myself and husband both work full time and we have three DC: 11, 4 and 2. We were feeling the same so we made some adjustments. We do an online shop every Friday, we hired a cleaner and I do all the washing in the week so the weekends are less stressful