Is this normal?

10 replies

ibringthetinsel · 20/04/2022 21:50

My DB died 15 years ago, about 8 years ago his wife remarried. DB had 2 children with his wife who are now adults. My relationship with ex SIL is pretty non existent as I felt when she remarried we drifted apart.

Is this normal? Because it’s 15 years since he died I’ve been thinking of the life that could have been if he had lived.

OP posts:

crackingreward · 20/04/2022 22:19

Is what normal?

ExitpursuedbyaBore · 20/04/2022 22:21

Sounds pretty normal.

do you keep in touch with his children?

Buzzer3555 · 20/04/2022 22:23

Its normal to grieve for the relationship you could have had. Don't question yourself it's just the way it is.

LoudingVoice · 20/04/2022 22:24

I think it’s quite normal to not be that close to your sil, do you see the children?

DDivaStar · 20/04/2022 22:28

Completely normal not to be in touch with sil. But do you keep inconstant with your brothers children ? It would be a shame to lose contact with them.

Watchkeys · 20/04/2022 22:31

Everyone does things differently. Your normal is individually yours. Unless you're trying to do life just like the most standard, boring, average people, normal doesn't matter.

How come it's bothering you?

Xpologog · 20/04/2022 22:56

It’s totally normal to think of the life that could/should have been. I still think now I’m not supposed to be living here ( struggling with this job/ that job/ this repair etc) we should be living where we were going to build our dream house.
I think as long as it’s occasional and not your only thoughts then it’s not doing any harm.
Hope you’re still in contact with your nephews.

AHungryCaterpillar · 20/04/2022 22:59

Yes normal

MurmuratingStarling · 20/04/2022 23:02

Very normal, but still sad.

Kite22 · 21/04/2022 00:00

Well, it isn't "normal" (if by that you mean common, or happens a lot) for people to die young. Sadly some do, and the way we all deal with that is as individual as the circumstance.
I do think a lot of us wonder every now and then what our siblings would be like if they were still with us.
It is nice if we can continue a relationship with "in-laws" but you can sort of understand how it can get complicated if the widow or widower moves to a new relationship. I think it's good if we can work hard to maintain a relationship with the dc who lost their Dad, whatever age they are, but it is going to be dependent both on you and your SiL how much you want to keep in touch.

Flip