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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not watch my son play football?

25 replies

AnneTwackie · 20/04/2022 19:52

My son is playing in the final of a tournament representing a UK country (not our country). It’s a 3.5 hour round trip and I’d get there just in time if I leave work early. The fuel will be a days pay for me. His dad (my ex) and grandparents will be there, they go to every match. I rarely go, most are at least an hour away, I don’t enjoy football, don’t get on with my ex and have two other very young children. I don’t think this bothers my 17 year old son a lot, we get on well and he knows I love him and I’m proud of him.
The match is televised, AIBU to watch it from home?

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 20/04/2022 19:54

The only one that matters is your son.
if he is fine with you not attending then watch from home!
he sounds like he has lots of support.

Trivium4all · 20/04/2022 19:55

Can you perhaps invite a couple of friends to your house and make a wee party out of watching it together, and tell your son? That way, he'd see that you're making an effort, even if the drive to be there in person is too much.

Original poster
AnneTwackie · 20/04/2022 20:23

Thanks @Trivium4all that’s a good idea!

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 20/04/2022 20:26

I would go to be honest. Would your younger kids enjoy it too? I’d be too worried about missing something!

theonlygirl · 20/04/2022 20:28

If my son was playing in a game of that magnitude I'd move heaven and earth to get there, but I love football and I accept you have some challenges. However, this could be a once in a lifetime thing, football is ruthless.

Original poster
AnneTwackie · 20/04/2022 20:29

No they’re preschool and it kicks off at 7pm, so it would be me on my own.

OP posts:
BeerLoas · 20/04/2022 20:44

Wow - great achievement! Congrats 👏 As a PP said the only person who matters is your son but a little party at home if you don’t go will be nice so he knows it’s important to you. Hope they win!

DinoWoman · 20/04/2022 20:53

I'm not a big football fan either but I would go for my DS as it is such a big game.

TinaYouFatLard · 20/04/2022 21:00

I would not miss this for the world.

Sunnytwobridges · 20/04/2022 21:01

I would go, but I enjoyed watching my DD play sports. I never missed a game/event. You can take some things to keep the little kids occupied, and they may even drift off to sleep since its later in the evening.

Hamster1111 · 20/04/2022 21:19

You should be there. You're his mum!

Rewis · 20/04/2022 22:25

So he's playing for U17 national team and has made it to a final of a tournament? I'd make an effort to get to that game. If its genuinely a struggle then watching it at home is fine as long as you are letting him know that you are rooting for him

MasterBeth · 20/04/2022 23:14

I thought this was going to be a post about occasionally going to grab a cup of tea while your son plays in the under 8s in the local park...

Would I prioritise seeing my child do what is, presumably, the most important day for him in his life so far over almost anything else...? Erm, yes - yes I would .

clary · 20/04/2022 23:20

I would go, but if my son is picked for the national squad for the next game in his sport, I'll be going to Denmark for the weekend to watch him.

I always go to his matches if I can; if I miss them it's bc I have another commitment, but I'm talking there about uni or local matches. If he were playing for the national team I would certainly ditch anything else to go. Does he want you there op?

fUNNYfACE36 · 21/04/2022 00:21

I think you should be thete unless it is totally impossible.

Sarkymarky · 21/04/2022 00:40

@MasterBeth totally agree it is a huge event in his life please go op

GarlandsinGreece · 21/04/2022 00:52

I’d be there with bells on.

urbanbuddha · 21/04/2022 01:31

However, this could be a once in a lifetime thing, football is ruthless.

It's this. You might not get another chance to watch him play at this level. But if it is really difficult the party's a good idea.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 21/04/2022 01:44

It depends if you can afford it, not everyone could spend a day's pay on fuel

Stressedout65 · 21/04/2022 02:03

If I could afford it I would go, whether or not I'm a football fan. Your son says he's ok with you watching him from home but you could regret it. I missed a big sporting event that my daughter was in due to work and she was brilliant, won all of her races; And I missed it, will never get that chance again.

Ponderingwindow · 21/04/2022 02:15

I don’t know sports well, but it sounds like this particular match is a big deal in your son’s life. It’s much more significant than a regular game. Those are the kind of things you make the effort to attend.

MangyInseam · 21/04/2022 02:17

I don't think you would need to. It would be nice if you can get childcare, and afford the gas. I think it would be better to watch at home if you need to keep the little ones with you. And if you can't afford the gas, you can't.

NumberTheory · 21/04/2022 03:29

He'll tell you he isn't bothered, but he most likely does that because he knows you don't want to go. But virtually every kid likes their parents to take a genuine interest in what they do. It's hard when you don't really like it, but this sounds like a huge deal, can you really not suck it up for one evening, put some effort in and be thrilled for him?

Kanaloa · 21/04/2022 03:40

I’m not sure. I can see why it’s a big ask for you. I also hate football but I go and see my son’s games because I want him to see I’m proud and interested. But my boy is only 11! So maybe when he’s 17 he wouldn’t be bothered. I know if I said ‘oh ds it’s a bit much for me to shlep all the way there and back and I’ll be knackered’ he would say no worries but I think he would be slightly upset for a big game.

Kanaloa · 21/04/2022 03:42

I also watch my older daughter’s dance recitals and my son and younger daughter at martial arts competitions and presentations - again not things I’m particularly interested in but unlike football at least they’re warm and indoors! But I would always go along and try to show I’m interested.

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